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When he joined Makerere University as a student in 1995, Kira Municipality MP Ibrahim Ssemujju Nganda shared a room with Haruna Kazibwe in Mitchell Hall. At the time, he did not know Kazibwe would become his brother-in-law.

“I think we were in third year then, and I used to get a lot of visitors from home. One day, three of Kazibwe’s relatives visited and among them was a beautiful girl,” Ssemujju told the Weekend Vision in an interview at his home in Kirinya, Bweyogerere in Wakiso district.

The girl was Kazibwe’s younger sister called Faridah Babirye, who swept Ssemujju off his feet at first sight. Ssemujju recalls that he had wanted to marry during his first year at campus, but it was difficult to find the right partner.

Ssemujju, who was then in his early 20s, later confided in Kazibwe and another friend Zubari Mayanja that he wanted to marry Faridah. And Kazibwe did not become a roadblock.

“Kazibwe created an opportunity for me to speak to her. During one of her visits to him (Kazibwe), he sent her to my room to pick a video deck. That is when I ‘broke the ice’ and told Faridah that I wanted to marry her because I was looking for a marriage partner,” he said.

Ssemujju said Faridah did not seem to take him seriously and so, they talked about other stuff and she left.

The proposal

Ssemujju managed to get another chance to re-echo his love message when Faridah visited Kazibwe again.

“I think she was in Senior Five then. She became used to me as her brother’s friend, but also as someone who had expressed interest in marrying her. I also often visited their home under the pretext of seeing Kazibwe and then I would get a chance to see her,” he said.

Ssemujju said his plan was to marry someone who was still studying so that by the time she completes her studies, he would also have graduated from university and probably started working.

“And for two years before we got married, she continued learning more about me,” said Ssemujju, who is now 50 years old.

He also said having a lot in common with Kazibwe helped him win his sister’s heart.

“I had known Kazibwe for a long time because we also used to pray at the same mosque at Makerere,” Ssemujju recalled.

The other advantage is the fact that Ssemujju and Faridah were both Muslims.

“She attended Naggalama Islamic Institute and so she knew the basics of religion, which I highly considered in a marriage partner,” he said.

Besides Faridah’s beauty and religious background, Ssemujju said he was attracted to her because he wanted to marry someone who would make him happy and one who was educated and could challenge him during an argument.

Ssemujju had initially set a minimum requirement of a graduate for a partner, but later adjusted to Senior Five or Senior Six after realising that someone with such qualifications could further their studies.

“Every day, we engage in small arguments even over things like where the bed should be. I did not wish for a servant-master relationship with my wife,” he said.

Asked about her parents’ reaction to his proposal to marry their daughter, Ssemujju said he first met her aunt (RIP) and shared his plan with her.

“She then informed Faridah’s parents. I wanted to personally visit them, but Faridah’s aunt restrained me. I did not want to go through the third parties, but I had to respect the dictates of culture,” he said.

The couple wedded on June 25, 2000, when Faridah was in her Senior Six vacation.

“I was 27 and she must have been 18 or 17,” he said.

Their first child died and they now have five children; two boys and three girls.

“I share a name with the boys, although each of them has a number — Ibrahim Ssemujju the second, Ibrahim Ssemujju the third. The girls are named after relatives,” the Forum for Democratic Change (FDC) party MP and veteran journalist, said.

Handling disagreements

Ssemujju said people disagree all the time, but find ways of reconciling.

“Like I said earlier, I never wanted to marry a subservient woman. I cannot claim to be perfect, but I like being orderly,” he said.

Ssemujju recalled that when he was still working as a journalist, he would return home and quarrel over everything, including where the jerrycan or basin had been placed.

He, however, said one day, his mother visited them and after observing his behaviour, she advised him to always get the best out of every bad situation.

“Since then, I started calling my wife before setting off for home because my religion says you should never ‘ambush’ your wife. Our relationship is more than that of a wife and husband. We have discovered many things that keep us together,” Ssemujju said.

Faridah reveals how Ssemujju won her over

After getting married in June 2000, Faridah joined Makerere University for a bachelor’s degree in education. And during her three years at university, she gave birth to three children, but never failed any paper.

Asked how she met Ssemujju, she said she first saw him when he was still a student at Makerere University.

“I was in my Senior Three and I had gone to the university to visit my brother, Kazibwe, in Mitchell Hall. During my Senior Four vacation, I visited my brother again and he introduced me to his friend, Ibrah,” Faridah said.

She recalled that later that day, her brother asked her to pick a video deck player from ‘Ibrah’s’ room.

“I did not know they had a plot. So, when I entered Ibrah’s room, he asked me to take a seat. He sat next to me and told me he wanted to marry me. You can imagine a university student proposing to a Senior Four student,” Faridah said.

She then said her heart started beating fast and did not know what to tell him.

“The fact that I was from a strict Muslim school, I was not into that boy-girlfriend stuff. But I told him I would think about it. When I went back home, I told my cousin about this guy (Ibrah) at campus, who had proposed to me,” Faridah said.

She said her cousin advised her to accept Ssemujju’s marriage proposal as long as he did not force her into doing anything against her wish.

“The next time I met Ibrah, I told him I would get married to him at an opportune moment. He told me he was okay with it. When my O’level results were released, Ibrah helped me to find a school — Mbogo High School — for my A’level education,” Faridah, who is a teacher, said.

She said after helping her to find a school for her A’level, Ssemujju then asked her to tell her aunt that he wanted to do the Nikah, the traditional Muslim marriage ceremony.

“My aunt told my parents and they were positive about it. They asked him for a few things and also emphasised that I first complete my education, before we could get married. Ibrah paid my tuition at campus and we got married on June 25, 2000,” Faridah said.

Asked what attracted her to him, Faridah said at first, there was nothing outstanding. “But there are times Ibrah would dress like a sheikh. I loved seeing him in this garb. He has nice lips. He is kind, passionate and caring,” she revealed.

Faridah noted that Ssemujju is a busy man, but this does not affect their love life as they often find time to go out, especially for dinner.

“Sometimes when he is travelling abroad, I go with him. We do barbecues at home and visit friends on weekends. He does not stay out late,” she said.

Asked whether she cared if Ssemujju married another wife, Faridah said: “As a human being, I have emotions, but our religion allows it. I would not mind because if God allows it, who am I to object?” Faridah said.

On handling disagreements, she said they usually talk about any and solve it there and then. Faridah noted that they have managed to keep their marriage strong by putting God first in everything they do.

“We also love each other very much. I call him different names. Sometimes, I call him Habibi (Arabic for my darling), babe, Ibrah and jokily, my honourable,” she said.

Faridah advised women to follow their hearts.

“Today, there are many educated women who have money, but your husband still takes precedence in the home. You have to respect, care and give him all the love he deserves and leave the rest to God,” she added.

I am always by Faridah’s side during childbirth – Ssemujju

Ssemujju noted that both he and wife Faridah come from polygamous families. “I think what we experienced while growing up, more than anything else, binds us together. There is no MP who has travelled more times around with his wife like I have,” he said.

He also said if he is going on a parliamentary trip for more than a week, he finds a way to fund his wife’s travel because he cannot imagine spending that time away from her.

“Couples pretend, but we do not. I am always at her bedside whenever she goes to give birth. When she underwent surgery during the birth of our second child, I was the only male caregiver in the observant room when she was in theatre,” Ssemujju said.

He stated that all the other women in the theatre were being taken care of by their mothers or sisters, but Faridah insisted that she didn’t want anyone else in the room, apart from him.

“And we call ourselves by name, not titles. She calls me Ibrah, I call her Faridah,” he said.

Islam allows marrying more than one wife, but Ssemujju says there are Muslim men who abuse this option.

“The option is that you can marry up to four and there are natural reasons for that; you don’t just wake up and begin marrying like you are an animal. I am married and committed to Faridah and that is it. I hate to hurt my wife and I can’t live without seeing her often because marrying another wife would mean that,” he said.

The legislator said he has no regrets about not marrying another wife. “My religion okays marrying more than one woman, but it is not compulsory,” he stressed.

What makes the Ssemujjus’ marriage work

On what fi res up their marriage of 24 years now, Ssemujju said it is partly their history, but also the lessons they have learnt together.

“Human beings are likely to error. If you are looking for a woman who will not make you angry, she does not exist. And a man who does not make you angry must be a pretender. We argue, but we do not quarrel,” he said.

And on how he has managed to keep his wife young and attractive, Ssemujju said: “She does not live under terror. Faridah is a designer of sorts. She also helps me to choose what to wear.”

He, however, said politics has been interfering with their love.

“First, it takes away a bit of my time and the kind of challenges that I sometimes face are exhaustive. You are beaten, tear-gassed or imprisoned, but I derive happiness from Faridah when I return home,” he said.

Advice to the youth

Ssemujju advised young people to identify a marriage partner as early as possible to stop living experimental lives.

“You must also make cautious decisions when choosing a partner and not be driven by material possessions, which are not long-lasting,” he urged.
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