Independent women too need men in their lives

By Cathy Bagaya

A friend once told me that this whole independent woman thing has caused a lot of excitement, but that everything has a breaking point.

He compared it to a baby; when they learn to walk they do it very fast, but when they fall down they realise they have to take it slow.

This goes for us Independent women too, we reach a point and realise that we need men!

I have been dreading this issue because I am most likely at the top of the list. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my independence just like most women out there do; but I am beginning to feel like it is getting out of control.

Recently after a long day at work I entered my safe haven with a new microwave that I had just purchased, straight to the kitchen.

After placing it where I wanted it, I looked around and in that moment it hit me I had everything I wanted in my little haven; and the next thing on my mind was purchasing a plot of land.

But in that moment I realised that maybe, just maybe, I had gone too far. I was so used to doing everything on my own and I wondered silently to myself, what it would be like if I got a man?

Where would I place him in my own perfect little world? Would it be easy to let him take care of me?

My auntie continuously tells me that every man wants to be needed, and here I was for the last four years since I left home doing everything on my own. I am what you would call the Independent woman.

Unfortunately, I like good things like the rest of the female race. And since no one was going to give them to me for free, I worked hard and made sure I got them. And I am still working towards acquiring more, like land and a car.

Many people have become worried about me; they believe I intimidate the men who try to court me.

To an extent they could be right, because I have learnt not to have expectations. And I am not the kind that is going to ask for stuff from a man without Plan B.

Some men have found this to be disrespectful and walk away.

Do I scare jamaz away?

A few people who think they know me believe that my standards are too high, that I should lower them.
 
I tell them: “'you can't own a plantation of bananas and eat posho daily because your neighbour doesn't have bananas'.

Therefore I will not wait for a man to help me develop myself, I want to complement him.

While I am independent I believe every woman needs a man in their lives. I am not a firm believer in emancipation to the extremes, but am thankful it gave me a voice.

You may not get married to them but you need men for the simple pleasures of life and companionship.

So, just like that little baby, my excitement for independence is over; there is no point in getting all this success and be alone.

I admit I need a man; but I will not rush into anything because of society's expectations.
 
There is somebody out there for me.

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