By Kalungi Kabuye
Two weeks ago, under some kind of duress, I wrote an article about our modern women and how, after gains in the fight for equality, still blame us when things do not work out.
I was not sure what to expect, especially from the women. But while a few thought I had lost my marbles many found it amusing, although the comments never went much further than ‘lol’, ‘he he he’, and ‘funny’.
The guys, on the contrary, loved it. Some guy sent it to his wife (not sure what kind of argument they had been having), while others gleefully commented ‘tell them’. But one insisted that it did not go far enough, and the real issue here was that women want to have their cake, and eat it too. So, here goes:
I have a close friend who, unfortunately, did not grow up with her father. But she is very hard working, and has done well for herself. She is the epitome of today’s independent women, and does not take nonsense from anybody.
So it came as a shock when she insisted that men were the traditional head of the family, and that today’s men have forsaken their true roles of providing and protecting the family.
It did not bother her that just before that she had argued how different these days were, that both men and women work at equally hard jobs and men should share housework and other ‘traditional’ women stuff. She did not see any contradiction in what she was saying.
Women have come a long way in the past few decades, and many of the chains that had been holding them down have been broken.
They have gained a lot of ground in this fight for equality, but have failed to understand that there is no vacuum in this equality thing. Any ground gained means someone else has lost ground.
The reality of it is that if women are not what they were 20 years ago, men cannot be what they were 20 years ago.
It is a whole new world. You cannot expect him to spend the whole day breaking his back to provide for the family, and then come home to help with the dishes.
It is a new world where women can no longer just use the fact of their sex and demand that men provide, just because they are women.
Like the story of the girl who boasted that she only dates rich guys with big cars, while she has nothing but her being a woman to give in exchange.
That cannot work anymore because the moment that women decided they enjoy sex as much, and as often, as men, the game changed.
Men used to do crazy things to get a chance to sleep with women, but now that the women are also very willing there is no need for that craziness.
And that girl who has nothing but being a woman going for her will soon find there a lot fewer pickings.
The emancipation fight has brought women power, but with that power comes new responsibilities. One of them is to accept the fact that not every guy you like is going to give you the time of day. With all that they have gained, women cannot still accept the fact that they can be rejected by men.
While increasing equality has brought women a lot of cake, I’m afraid they can’t have it and eat it too.
For that self-made, very independent woman, you cannot live happily ever after with a traditional husband; it is not going to happen.
And for the rest of you, that equality means a guy can tell you quite happily to take a hike and you just have to learn to smile and live with it.
This is of course based on logic which men use most of the time, and women might not get it. But yes, I had to say it.
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