Dear Aunt Liz,
I was in a relationship with a girl who cheated on me several times. Despite that, I still forgave her. I tried other relationships but it couldnâ€™t work out. When I got a job in the states, she also decided to move to the UK for studi
I was in a relationship with a girl who cheated on me several times. Despite that, I still forgave her. I tried other relationships but it couldnâ€™t work out. When I got a job in the states, she also decided to move to the UK for studies.
She gave me her UK contact and invited me to there. she said she had closed the chapter of relationships and wanted to be my good friend. She says she asked God for forgiveness on all the wrongs she did to me. I still love her so much but i donâ€™t know how to win her back. Please advise.
To love is to trust. If you love someone, you ought to trust them. You seem desperate about your relationship. Trust is the basis of any relationship, when it is broken it takes time to pick up the pieces. You realise at some point, both of you were seemingly unfaithful to each other. This could be the reason why regaining trust is not easy.
You need to understand that it may not be easy for your girlfriend to relate with you as earlier. She could still be nursing feelings of guilt as she had betrayed your earlier trust. This makes it hard for her to believe that you can accept her.
She has asked God for forgiveness, which shows she realised she went wrong. This comes along with change of attitude and behaviour, which is a process.
It is necessary to give her time and take some time for yourself as well. This is when you evaluate your life. What could have caused the unfaithfulness. Could there be some things that did not satisfy your girlfriend?
Was it her moving out that caused you to do the same? Were you just doing it out of revenge or you were desperate for a relationship? Working through these areas will help you change your attitude.
In most cases, if you suddenly jump out of a relationship into another without careful thought, the mistakes are often repeated and success begins to seem out of reach.
Could this be the reason why those other relationships you attempted didnâ€™t work out?
Since there is still open communication between the two of you, you could take advantage of that. Itâ€™s no guarantee that it will win her back but atleast you will have given your best.
Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor
She left me but I still love her