Why you may miss the uniform

When I am sober, President Museveni is, to me, just a president. But when I start getting drunk, I call him my uncle. And when I start calling him my OB, I know I am finished and it is time to go home.

When I am sober, President Museveni is, to me, just a president. But when I start getting drunk, I call him my uncle. And when I start calling him my OB, I know I am finished and it is time to go home.

In other words, I can be so innovative with phenomena that some wise people think thrice before taking me by my word. But they end up missing out when I really speak the truth, like when I confess that I used to be a successful footballer.

I even offered my services to University Hall when I went to Makerere. I gave it up when, one day, we had a friendly match with Kibuli SS. I had been chosen in the first team during our last training the previous day but when the uniforms finally came, I did not get mine.

Apparently there were some gurus whose positions in the team were so guaranteed that they never even came for practice. In every cabinet, you find the Kajuras, the Nasasiras without whom the cabinet list remains incomplete. I did not know this. So when the list came out, there were faces on the pitch I had never seen! I was as disappointed as the Movement cadres who were so sure the cabinet list was a fake just because their names had not appeared.

I have also heard in the media people saying the cabinet team will crumble like Ferguson’s Man U in Wembley last Saturday. But you will not find me among those throwing rotten eggs at the cabinet because I know why some cadres got uniforms and others, even those who never missed training and had been assured of a place, were left out. It is the same reason why people marry what looks like wrong choices to the members of the public. “How could he marry such a helplessly ugly woman!” They exclaim. Why should they assume he was looking for facial beauty in a wife?

When Museveni was choosing the cabinet, he was not looking for Barcelona players! He was paying back to those cadres who, according to him, did their best to make him popular. And the matter is as subjective as that. Period!

If you think you played like Messi in keeping The Movement afloat, raise up your arm or forever keep your peace. When the time comes for Uganda to get a cabinet that works like people of your calibre, you will be given a uniform.

Society usually goes wrong when it writes rules and dedicates them as assumptions for all of us to trek along. When you decide to love, society assumes it must be forever. When you ask someone for sex, society assumes that you must be in love. When you marry, society assumes that was your best choice in the whole world. What is wrong with you, society?

Actually, I can safely say such assumptions break many a marriage. You assume that because she agreed to marry you, you were her best. And that because she still comes to your bed, you are unopposed. In the end, you forget my cardinal advice that ‘love as if there is a rival’. You never can tell why a person chooses you until you get it from his mouth. Even then, he may give you a socially acceptable reason that the new cabinet line-up is the Barcelona of The Movement.

Yet the real Barcelona of the Movement includes …, sorry it is 5PM, hooting time. I need to go and make some noise.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug