Love knows no looks

Apr 22, 2009

I now believe in incarnation. The guy I saw in the company of my ex-girlfriend in Mbarara on Easter Monday is a real incarnation of the word, lumpen. I have never seen such an unkempt beard on a helplessly ugly face whose lips were not sufficient enough t

I now believe in incarnation. The guy I saw in the company of my ex-girlfriend in Mbarara on Easter Monday is a real incarnation of the word, lumpen.

I have never seen such an unkempt beard on a helplessly ugly face whose lips were not sufficient enough to cover deranged teeth covered with fake gold and protruding to successfully portray an artistic impression of a man-eating vampire. And I am talking like a Christian with no malice at heart.

They were behaving like they had something really intimate going on. If I was the law, I would have dispatched him to replenish the zoo instead of exposing our district to the risk of a possible outbreak of ugly offspring in the land of milk.

For even if my ex is still a whip of some repute, her beauty cannot be enough to neutralise her man’s hideous looks. And such people may not practice family planning.

Out of courtesy, I said nothing and have been suffering the consequences of restraining such juicy observation. But when I returned to Kampala and found the issue of Migingo Island was hot in the news, I sighed an Eureka and apologised to God for the questions I asked him that day. Migingo is a palm-sized rocky island exposed by the decline in Lake Victoria water levels recently.

To the ordinary eye, it is not something that should entice Uganda and Kenya into conflict, drawing in neighbours, the African Union, which includes the kingdom of Toro. Apart from the fishy smell and maybe a few prostitutes, whose mileage sums up to over 10,000 sex hours, there is not much that meets the eye. Yet those in the know are ready to give their life for it.

In 1998, Ethiopia and Eritrea jumped at each other’s throats for two years over what the world thought was a strip of dusty worthless land that not even NSSF could spend sh1,000 on. Hundreds of millions of dollars, as well as tens of thousands of deaths and casualties later, the war resulted in minor border changes.

Appearance can be very deceptive and will always deceive naïve passers-by who assume rational attractiveness. I remembered a woman friend of mine who assured me she was confident her man was not the owner of their housegirl’s pregnancy because she was ugly and her man had said so several times.

Another girl gave her friend pre-marital advice never to leave her man unaccompanied in the company of girls unless they were really ugly. Both of them were, unfortunately, wrong!

In relationships, the outward appearance only helps in drawing people together. Thereafter, other factors like personality, sexual prowess, humour, success in life, etc must take over if the bond is to last.

These other factors are more important in the durability of intimate bonds. They are spiritual, durable and more fulfilling not like appearance which, like the petals of a flower, plays its part and disappears.

So when I gasp because my ex is in the company of Mr Ugly, I am looking at air with a naked eye and failing to notice the numerous bacteria, germs, pores, viruses, electronic signals and Kony who is always said to disappear into thin air.

There has to be something fundamentally fulfilling that my ex sees which I don’t. That is the mistake we all make. There is something on everyone that will attract another only if they can be drawn near enough to notice.

It is safer to leave whoever pairs with another in peace because they know the secret that we don’t. We see them as Migingo rock while in their eyes, it is treasure and wealth.

If you insist on matching people by their appearance assets, you will miss the point. For instance, my wife knows my heart can only be melted by light-skinned females (the reason we only hire dark-skinned house helps), so if I wanted to graze offside and still confuse the referee, I would go for black.

So, stop appraising people’s choices by beauty, figure, age and skin colour. And if you are not flattering enough, take heart, other factors will attract the fly to your web and keep it there.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug

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