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OPINION

WHAT'S UP!

I cannot remember when I first read the novel Animal Farm, although I might have first watched a film based on the book and then read it. Something in my fibre has always hated authoritarianism and so anything resembling communism and its many cousins was an anathema to me. So I made sure I studied the book to make sure when anything like that came anywhere near my world, I would know how to deal with it.

But here I am all these decades later, what George Orwell wrote about and predicted is happening right before my eyes and I do not really know what to do.

To the uninitiated, the 1945 novel, Animal Farm, is an account of the animals on a farm who, sick to the bones of the exploitation by its human owners, staged a revolution and overthrew the tyrants. The animals then decided to rule the farm themselves and entrusted the overseer role to the more intelligent among them, the pigs.

But slowly, or maybe not so slowly, that overseer role got to the pigs’ heads and they started believing they were superior to the other animals and started making rules to that effect. I bet even your neighbour boda guy has heard of the clause, ‘all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others’.

But it is the justification the pigs gave for the preferential treatment they awarded themselves that will serve for today’s column.

What happened was that all the milk produced on the farm was preserved for the pigs’ use and mixed into their mash. The other animals did not like it much, but they did not complain too loudly. When apples on the farm ripened, the animals thought they were in for a treat, only to discover that all the apples had been reserved strictly for the pigs. That was when the ‘ordinary’ animals started loudly complaining. So, the pigs sent one of their own, known as Squealer, to explain to the masses what was going on. These are excerpts from that speech:

“Comrades!” he cried. “You do not imagine, I hope, that we pigs are doing this in a spirit of selfishness and privilege? Many of us actually dislike milk and apples. I dislike them myself. Our sole object in taking these things is to preserve our health. Milk and apples (this has been proved by Science, comrades) contain substances absolutely necessary to the well-being of a pig. We pigs are brainworkers. The whole management and organisation of this farm depend on us. Day and night we are watching over your welfare. It is for your sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples.”

Now, is it just me or do other people see parallels between what the Squealer said in Orwell’s classic book and what the ‘honourable’ Beatrice Anywar, Member of Parliament for Kitgum municipality, who is also the State Minister for Environment, said last week?

Reacting to a communication about the death of a Parliament clerk, Anywar asked the august house to set up a salon for women MPs in the new Parliament building currently under construction. She argued that MPs are busy people, which limits their time to work out, so if there was a salon it would encourage women MPs to go to the gym which is planned as part of the new building (Anywar was instrumental in pushing for a gym to be included in the new building). She did not, however, explain how the time spent in the gym and salon in Parliament would be different from the time spent in a neighbourhood gym and then ‘beautification’ done at home.

After which a vehicle provided by Parliament would then take the MP to Parliament, sirens and all. She did explain, though, that women MPs have to look presentable to be able to do Parliamentary work properly and it is work for the good of the nation (I wonder what the late Henry Barlow would have to say about this building the nation?).

With a budget of over sh900b (did I hear somewhere they want to increase it?), Members of Parliament are some of the highest paid public officials in the country. It is claimed by some that they earn even more than MPs in most European countries, which ironically contribute to over 20% to the country’s annual budget. They also have hefty allowances which are tax free and it seems now they are adding salons to the perks.

But it is not because they want the money for themselves, they insist it is necessary for them to do a good job for the country. Asked why MPs earn so much more than the ordinary Ugandans, an MP explained that their constituents are beggars and always pester them for money, so the MPs need the high salaries and allowances to satisfy these demands.

And, of course, it is not for their own good, they probably do not want all that money, but to do a good job for the nation, they have to get it and more. Just like Squealer explained to the pigs, Ugandan MPs need their milk and apples. The rest of the animals, sorry, Ugandans, will just have to understand and live with it.