Keep your child smart and safe online
“Half of the children (50.7%) had encountered sexual images in the previous year, across online and other media, yet only 7.7% of parents said they knew their child had. So, here is the question I would like every parent to sit with: Are we more worried about how long our children use their phones than about what happens to them while they are online?” Writes Barbara Kaija
Barbara Kaija. (File)
___________
OPINION
Put that phone down! It is a familiar refrain in many Ugandan homes. You are preparing supper, the children are finishing homework, and one child seems completely absorbed in a phone. You call out again, and the evening ends in the usual disagreement about screen time.
Yet consider another possibility. The child may have been receiving messages from someone who has gradually won her confidence and is now demanding private photographs.
She is frightened, but she cannot tell her mother. She fears the phone will be confiscated and that she will be blamed.
National survey
This is an illustrative situation, but the silence it describes is reflected in Ugandan research. In a 2020 Uganda Communications Commission’s national survey, 85.3% of internet-using children said they never or hardly ever told a parent about things that upset them online. Meanwhile, 93% of parents reported knowing nothing that had upset their child.
Half of the children (50.7%) had encountered sexual images in the previous year, across online and other media, yet only 7.7% of parents said they knew their child had. So, here is the question I would like every parent to sit with: Are we more worried about how long our children use their phones than about what happens to them while they are online?
What research reveals
Here is what the newest research says. A September 2026 review published in JAMA Pediatrics pooled 23 earlier meta-analyses of about 2.8 million children and adolescents in 64 countries. It linked greater screen use to poorer academic achievement and language skills, and to more emotional problems, difficulties with friends, and anxious, withdrawn or aggressive behaviour.
The pattern held across millions of children. The authors call screen exposure “a potentially modifiable factor”, which means we are not powerless. What children do online, and how old they are, shaped the results. The link is not proof that screens cause these problems, but it is a warning we should not wave away. Heavy, unguided screen use is not harmless.
Children reporting abuse or bullying were more likely to report anxiety, self-harm and suicidal thoughts or behaviours. We have every reason to take our children’s digital experiences seriously.
Time still matters, especially when phones get in the way of sleep, study, exercise and family life. What our children experience online matters just as much.
Why children stay silent
The same UCC survey found that 89% of the children said they felt safe at home, while 83.6% believed their families listened when they spoke, yet most of them kept silent about online abuse. The problem is not always a lack of love. Sometimes our children simply do not know how to begin a difficult conversation, and we have not made it easy enough.
Our grandparents understood something important about raising children. Around the evening fire, stories created opportunities to discuss difficult matters without accusing or embarrassing anyone. Our homes may no longer gather around the same fires, but the principle remains useful.
Learning alongside children
Uganda’s First Lady and Minister of Education and Sports, Janet Kataaha Museveni, has stressed vigilance. Speaking in 2024 about young children’s access to mobile phones, she observed: “There has to be some vigilance even when we embrace technological advancements.”
That balance matters. Technology brings opportunities we should not deny our children, but we also need to understand the places they are entering.
Do not feel embarrassed if your teenager understands disappearing messages, gaming communities and privacy settings better than you. This need not become a contest between generations.
Ask your child to show you a favourite application. Learn together how to block unwanted contacts, report abusive messages and adjust privacy settings. Talk about why someone might pretend to be a friend, ask for secrecy or offer gifts.
Keeping the door open
There are simple safeguards every family can try. Agree on reasonable times for using devices and protect the hours that screens may crowd out: Homework, sleep, play, reading and ordinary conversation at home.
Teach your children to protect personal information, including passwords, addresses, photographs and locations. Watch gently for unexplained anxiety, withdrawal or distress after online interactions, remembering that such behaviour may have several causes.
Most importantly, make one promise unmistakably clear: If something frightening happens online, your child can tell you without automatically being punished.
UNICEF also cautions against relying entirely on restrictions. Across 21 of 22 countries examined, children whose parents restricted internet activities tended to report lower digital skills. The finding is an association, not an argument for unlimited access.
Conversational engagements
This evening, when your child reaches for the phone, try beginning with curiosity rather than confrontation. Ask what they have been learning, whom they enjoy talking to and whether anything online has made them uncomfortable.
A conversation about a funny video may eventually create the trust needed for a conversation about something frightening. The safest home is not necessarily the one with the strictest phone rules. It is the one where a child knows that difficult truths can be spoken and heard.
Smart but Safe is a series examining how Uganda can help children benefit from the digital world while protecting them from harm.
For God and My Country.
The writer is an educationist, a media communication specialist and the Chairperson of the Board for the Emerging Leaders Programme; Kaijabarbara@gmail.com WhatsApp: 0708746624