Everybody works for their interests, not yours
People are rarely motivated simply by what we want from them. Whether in leadership, business or relationships, understanding what matters to others and finding ways to align those interests is often the key to achieving meaningful results, writes Richard Mutebi
Richard Mutebi. (Courtesy)
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OPINION
By Richard Mutebi
One of the most important lessons in life, business and leadership is also one of the easiest to forget: people generally work according to their own interests, not yours.
We often become disappointed when someone does not do what we expected, when an employee does not go the extra mile, when a business partner makes a decision that benefits them, or when a friend does not support our plans. We ask ourselves, “Why couldn't they do this for me?”
The uncomfortable truth is that the other person may not be looking at the situation from your perspective. They have their own ambitions, responsibilities, priorities, fears and expectations.
This does not necessarily mean that people are selfish or uncaring. It simply means that everyone has a personal agenda—whether openly expressed or quietly understood.
People respond to what matters to them
In the workplace, an employee may be interested in salary, career growth, recognition, job security, flexible working conditions or opportunities for promotion. A manager, on the other hand, may be focused on profitability, productivity, customer satisfaction and achieving organisational targets and goals.
Both parties may be working hard, but they may be working toward different interests.
A good leader therefore does not simply tell people what needs to be done. A good leader asks:
“What is important to this person, and how can our interests be aligned?”
This is where effective leadership begins.
Stop expecting people to think like you
One of the greatest sources of disappointment is expecting other people to have the same priorities that we have.
You may value loyalty, while another person values financial reward. You may prioritise relationships, while another person prioritises career advancement. You may be willing to sacrifice today for tomorrow, while someone else wants immediate results.
Neither perspective automatically makes one person right and the other wrong.
People are shaped by different experiences, circumstances and objectives.
Understanding this can make us better managers, businesspeople, parents, colleagues and friends.
The lesson for business
Successful businesses understand that customers also act in their own interests.
A customer does not buy a product simply because the company needs sales. They buy because the product solves a problem, provides value, saves time, reduces cost, improves status or satisfies a particular need.
This is why effective marketing asks:
“What is in it for the customer?”
The same principle applies to employees.
If an organisation wants employees to perform better, it should understand what motivates them. Salary may be important, but so can recognition, professional development, meaningful work, job security, respect and opportunities for advancement.
When organisations understand people's interests and align them with organisational objectives, everyone has a reason to contribute.
Negotiation is about interests
The principle is equally important in negotiation.
A weak negotiator focuses only on what they want.
A stronger negotiator asks:
“What does the other party want?”
Once you understand the other person's interests, you can look for common ground.
For example, a bank wants to grow its loan portfolio while controlling risk. A business customer wants affordable financing to expand. These interests may appear different, but they can be aligned through appropriate financing, proper risk assessment and mutually beneficial terms.
The best agreements are rarely based on one side winning and the other losing. They are based on finding an arrangement where both sides see value.
Do not take everything personally
Understanding that people work according to their interests can also make life less stressful.
Not every decision against you is an attack on you.
Sometimes, it is simply a decision in favor of someone else's interests.
Once we understand this, we stop wasting energy trying to make everyone behave according to our expectations.
The real skill is alignment
The answer is not to become selfish because everyone else is pursuing their interests.
The answer is to become better at alignment.
If you are a leader, understand what motivates your people.
If you are a salesperson, understand what your customer values.
If you are negotiating, understand what the other party needs.
If you are building a partnership, make sure both sides have something meaningful to gain.
If you are managing people, do not only ask what you want them to achieve. Ask what will make them want to achieve it.
Final thought
We cannot control everyone's priorities, motivations or decisions. But we can control how we respond to them.
The mature approach is to stop expecting everybody to work for our interests and start looking for ways to connect our interests with theirs.
Because in life, business and leadership, one principle remains powerful:
People may listen to what you want, but they are ultimately motivated by what matters to them.
The smartest leaders do not fight this reality.
They understand it, respect it and use it to create mutual value.
The Writer is a Master Class of Strategy and Communication, Makerere University Business School.