Dear Fresher, this is your story to write
The bazaar is a small picture of the world you have entered. From now on, people will compete for your money, attention, time and loyalty. The pressure will rarely look like pressure. It may come as friendship, romance, easy money or an invitation to belong.
Barbara Kaija. (File)
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OPINION
Dear Fresher,
Now that you have joined university, you have stepped into a world of freedom, choice, opportunity and temptation. Where it takes you from here is a story only you can write. This could be your first experience managing your own money. It could also be the first time you make any major decision, without anyone looking over your shoulder. Your parents, guardians and teachers invested in getting you here. You carry their hopes as well as your own dreams, but this chapter of your formation is yours to write.
We want you to enjoy this freedom: make friends, discover your abilities, try new things and take advantage of everything university offers. Freedom also means meeting influences you have never had to navigate before. Some will help you grow. Others will try to distract, exploit or steer you off course. Telling the difference is a skill you build on purpose. This is also where you get to shape two things that will outlast every exam: your career and your closest friendships. Your career takes shape through the courses that pull at your curiosity, the internships you pursue and the mentors you seek out. It rarely happens by accident. Many of the friendships you build at campus will show up for you through life. Choose both deliberately. No one else can decide them for you.
At last week’s orientation, most universities held colourful bazaar of perfumes, cosmetics, banks, health providers, religious groups and businesses, all competing for your attention. Some had something useful to offer, others simply wanted to sell you something or find members. Beneath the excitement lay a serious reality: Among those seeking your attention are people who recognise that you are new, eager to belong and still learning to manage your freedom. Some may see that as an opening to exploit you. Recognise that and do not allow them to control you. Please, steer your own path.
You are one of more than 165,000 young Ugandans who sat the Uganda Advanced Certificate of Education last year. Of the 165,172 candidates, 113,291 obtained the two principal passes required for degree admission. Behind those numbers are young people beginning a journey each of you gets to define.
You may wonder where you will live, how you will manage money, or what it feels like when no one is there to ask if you have eaten. Then come the invitations to stay out late, to try betting as easy money, to test drugs, alcohol or risky relationships as just part of campus life. You may feel pressure to compromise your values so as not to be the odd one out. Knowing when to say no, walk away or ask for help is not weakness. It is you taking charge of your own life.
We know these pressures are real and so are their consequences. An Emerging Leaders Programme (ELP) baseline study of 473 first-year and 1,041 continuing students found that 46.3% of first-years reported negative sexual choices and 27% reported more than five sexual partners in a year. Among continuing students, the figures were 53.3% and 32% respectively. Students also reported drug use, tuition lost to betting, serious debt, bribery for grades and cases of “disappearing marks.” We share this not to frighten you, but to put the choice in front of you before you must make it. A small decision made when you are lonely or short of money can take you further than you intended. If things start to slip beyond your control, do not wait until you are in trouble to look for help.
If you are struggling academically, financially or personally, tell someone you trust: A parent, guardian, lecturer, mentor or student leader. Know where your Dean of Students, health centre and counselling office are. Save the contacts in your phone. If you face abuse or coercion, move to a safe place and report through the proper university structures. If money becomes a problem, do not solve one difficulty by creating another. Talk to your family or dean of students instead. When loneliness sets in, find a healthy community, through faith, sport or a student organisation. Let yourself build real friendships.
If you have already made a mistake, do not let shame convince you your story is over. Acknowledge it, seek help, make amends where necessary and choose differently. The pen is still in your hand; please write your own story!
To the parent reading this: your role has not ended; it has changed. Your child needs more independence, but still needs your presence. Know where they live and something about their friends. Listen more than you lecture. Make home a place where they can talk about loneliness, pressure or mistakes without fearing judgement.
Dear fresher, attend your classes, live within your means and do not let campus excitement consume the purpose that took you there. Move with a friend when you feel unsafe. Know where to seek help before you need it. These are not rules imposed on you. They are terms you set for yourself.
Your phone will test your judgement too. It opens doors to knowledge and friendship, but it also opens doors to misinformation, gambling and strangers you cannot vet. You do not need to withdraw from the digital world. You just need to decide for yourself what earns a place in your attention.
The bazaar will disappear. But the marketplace of influence will remain throughout your university years and beyond. You cannot avoid every influence, but you decide which ones shape you. You go to campus to learn, but you also go there to become. Your degree will tell the world what you studied. Your career and friendships will tell the rest of the story, and your character will determine what you do with all of it. From all of us at the ELP, under the patronage of Maama Janet Museveni, welcome to university. We are there to walk with you as you learn, grow, lead and discover your purpose.
Welcome to your season of becoming.
The writer is an educationist, a media communication specialist and the Chairperson of the Board for the Emerging Leaders Programme; Kaijabarbara@gmail.com WhatsApp: 0708746624.