Christmas should not stress you

Dec 24, 2021

“Take a break from being a mum for a few days and let someone else take over as you let loose and have some fun."

Christmas should not stress you

New Vision Journalist
Journalist @New Vision

Apart from the continuing COVID-19 pandemic, Rebecca Birungi’s biggest issue is that she loathes the village Christmas holidays because they are no longer fun as they.

She confided in New Vision that a Christmas at her husband’s village means more work for her, amid scanning eyes looking for criticism.

It also means working in an unfamiliar environment like a smoky kitchen, using firewood, using pans and utensils whose origin is not clear and still pretend you are not scared of infections. 

Her children often react to the water and change of weather and contract skin diseases from their rural folk.

But she has no way to complain without being misunderstood. Her husband has either ignored or remained oblivious to her subtle remarks about the challenges of a village Christmas. 

She always returns exhausted, unaware of any Christmas fun after dealing with unfriendly in-laws.

Birungi always shudders when her husband brags about how excellent Christmas was, how his wife enjoys the village and how he always looks forward to it. But she is resigned to the ritual, after all, it is a one-off per year.

True for most women

For many women, there is no rest on Christmas day in a traditional rural setting. Many have to pretend they are enjoying Christmas with their in-laws, yet they are dreading every minute of it.

“I love my in-laws and always look forward to meeting them. But I hate visiting their home on Christmas day. You work from 6:00am to late in the evening. The male folk, of course, just sit around waiting to be served and sometimes complain about the slow speed of service.

They even leave to go for more fun in trading centres and towns, leaving us slaving around for them,” says a Kampala-based female lawyer.

During Christmas, as other family members head for the church, most women are rushing things in the kitchen. But must it always be like this? Is there something you can do to also enjoy Christmas Day in the village?

“Christmas is an opportunity to escape the hustle and bustle of city life, not to suffer in smoke, trying to impress in-laws,” the lawyer says.

Solutions 

Last year, she innovated by carrying along her gas cylinder, which she used in the main house, away from the smoky kitchen.

“I got the idea from my friends. We also took new pans and were able to enjoy the cooking. It became fun when I taught my sisters-in-law a few tips about cooking,” she says.

Joan Nabajjwe, a shopkeeper in Kikuubo, Kampala, also has an innovation. She sends money to her in-laws to hire labour for Christmas. Then everybody rests as the hired people cook according to instructions from the family.

“This Christmas, I will hire a cook again. They are known women who cook at parties and funerals. You just do the shopping and leave them to hustle. Then we can also join other family members to bond as we discuss politics and COVID-19,” Nabajjwe says.

Solome Kusasira Nakalanzi, a restaurant owner in Nateete, Kampala, advises that if you are from a family that wants a traditional lunch and dinner, think about hiring catering services.

“For a change, instead of spending time preparing that heavy Christmas lunch that takes ages to get ready and leaves all the women and children too drained to enjoy it, hire a caterer. Just give them your recipes and make it a holiday for all the female members of the family,” Kusasira noted.

Kusasira says as a family you can also opt for a barbecue where everyone takes part and make sure that you use disposable plates and glasses so that nobody has to be burdened with the washing of dishes.

She also advises that, if you do not have money to hire a catering service, go with your maid to the village and give her extra money if possible.

“With extra money, she will be around and maybe take her leave later in January. If you have a baby, share responsibilities with your husband. Otherwise, you will just hate everyone at home for nothing,” Kusasira advises.

Miriam Nabbosa, a front desk officer at Mirembe Clinic, says if you dwell near town, you can actually go out as a family for a restaurant lunch.

“I used to stress during those days but I realised that I could plan better. At first, I feared my in-laws would misinterpret it as snobbish, but they all loved a lunch out on Christmas day. Everybody loves being served and waited upon. It also saves them from spoiling their nails, which they spend on for Christmas. This Christmas, we are again planning to go out and enjoy ourselves at one of the big restaurants in town,” says Nabbosa.

Another concern was the water children bathe and sometimes drink and fall sick thereafter. You can avoid all that stress by carrying your bottled water.

“Different water companies have all sizes of water bottles. You do not have to spend fuel by boiling enough water for the family, it is wiser to carry bottled water. You are sure of what your children are drinking,” Patience Muhindo, an accountant advises.

She then says you will get bonding time with your children to play in larger compounds in rural areas.

You can even hire bouncing castles to give all children, especially in the villages, a field day, she says. They will remember you over that bouncing castle Christmas.

Muhindo, therefore, advises that one should not wait until the last minute.

“Create a to-do list that clearly lists all your preparations on a day-to-day basis,” she says. 

“This is one time of the year when you should apply the saying, “Many hands make work light.” 

Gather family members and come up with a five-day cleaning.

Take a break from being a 'mum'

A trick that will make your life stress free is avoiding fussing about things being done perfectly; let the kids be for this short period.

“Take a break from being a mum for a few days and let someone else take over as you let loose and have some fun. If your in-laws are to love you, they will love you, if they will not, even if you spend the entire day in the kitchen, they will never accept you,” Hellen Obire states.

 

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