How to handle clingy toddler

PARENTING |

Dawn Kirabo has a three-year-old son. At the time of the lockdown, he had started kindergarten and by the second week was over crying for mummy.

"Every time I dropped him off at school, he cried the first week but by the second week he was ok, excited about school, and would run into the compound happily every morning," she says. And then the lockdown was announced and she was back home with him all day every day.

When restrictions were lifted, she noticed that he was anxious whenever she left the house. "He had regressed and refused to leave my side.

Most times he cries for me to carry him or wants to sit on my lap and yet I work from home.

It has gotten so bad that he no longer wants to go outside and play with the neighbour's children as he used to," she says frustrated.

According to Susan Nalwoga, a clinical psychologist, it is not uncommon for children to regress when their routine is interfered with.

"Children thrive on consistency but sometimes, unforeseen circumstances like the lockdown obstruct them. This is compounded by the fact that most parents work from home nowadays, so the child is used to the security and comfort of their presence. At a young age, children will seek their parents and want to be near them," she says.

Nalwoga advises the following to help deal with a clingy toddler:

• Redirect them to another activity when you see them following you everywhere. "You do not need to shout at them, but offer them another option, for example, going to play with their toys or to draw, colour a picture so that they understand that there are other things they can do," she says.

• Occupy them with interesting activities. For instance, set a collection of blocks for them and ask them to build you something. When they complete the task be sure to praise hem so that it is easier to make them do the next.

• If they have siblings, send them to play with them so that you have some free time for yourself.

• Sometimes the anxiety is a result of the child not understanding what is going to happen. "For instance, if you have to step out or go to the study to work, tell them you are going away but reassure them that you will be back. Even if they cry they will be sure that you have not left them."

• If you are in the middle of a task, tell the child you are finishing something and will be with them shortly then offer them an alternative. Alternatively, give them a task to do like picking up their toys with you nearby so that they can see you but their attention is on something else.

• Create a routine they can follow. For instance, you can schedule naps for them during the day and have them involved in simple chores they will enjoy like doing the dishes. They will be too busy to cling to you.

• Lastly, be patient with the child and yourself. "It does not help to shout at, beat, or push away the child because they do not understand why you are angry at them for wanting to be near you all the time. Also, be patient with yourself because they soon outgrow the phase and become more independent," Nalwoga reassures.