Why more men should be involved in the pregnancy process

The love for a baby surpasses many people's understanding. Every woman would love to have a baby. But it does not always come easy; if anything, the biological process is intense. One has to bear the pregnancy for nine months, coupled with morning sickness, rare cravings, swollen feet, weight gain, mood swings to name but a few.

The usual symptoms are expected, however, there are odd pains and peculiar behaviour that not even the most experienced gynaecologist can explain.

When my wife Haspha Nassolo was pregnant, she showed remarkable resilience, refusing to succumb to morning sickness. So she went about her work with the same vigour as before the pregnancy.

At three months, she went for a routine checkup because both her hands were feeling numb and she felt sharp pains in her torso. I became concerned; I feared she was developing a stroke. My wife was started on medication called Neuroribine. She would take these every day and her life started to change immediately.   

On October 30, we were blessed with a baby girl, Shahnaz Nsubuga.  I had been very worried about my wife but miracles do happen. Everything went well for us.

Still, when it comes to pregnancy, every woman is different. Namubiru says she spits alot. "Whenever I am pregnant, I keep on spitting. It does not matter where I am. I talked to my doctor, but he could not help me," she says.

Jackie Nabulime, a mother of three, says; "Throughout my pregnancies, my body would generate a lot of heat. I would remove my night dress at night, and then get a basin of cold water with ice cubes and place my legs in it. People at myworkplace would wonder why I always had the fan on even when it seemed very cold."

Esther Katushabe was advised not to get pregnant again. Whenever her pregnancies got to an advanced stage, she would fail to walk. "By the fifth month, I had to crawl. Doctors said my body could not handle any more pregnancies. But my desire for children overwhelmed me. I did not use contraception and I did not tell my husband. When I got pregnant again, my husband was furious. He swore not to help me through it, but when he saw me crawl to the toilet, he cried and came to my rescue," she says.



Aisha Akullo, mother of two, says whenever she was pregnant, she would stop eating  supper because whenever she ate, she would have difficulties breathing, while Edith Atugonza's pregnancy related complication is an itchy body. "When I am pregnant, my whole body itches. At times, I have to wake my husband to scratch me. My body continuously itches and I am uncomfortable most of the time.

Molly Kamukama, a mother of one, says that all she wanted was her man's smell. "I always wanted to put on his shirt. Good enough, he loves t-shirts, so it was easy for me to put on his t-shirts to work. But then, I hated his perfume and I asked him not to wear it".

Stella Lule's problem was sniffing her husband's body odour. "Whenever, he put on a shirt, I would iron it, hang it up and after he had put it on twice, I would grab the shirt and sniff at it. It was easy at home, but even at work, his dirty shirts were part of my handbag collection", recalls Lule.

"Annette Nsubuga was known for being extremely smart and tidy. The story changed the moment her pregnancy was three months old. "I hated the comb and anybody oil. I was pale throughout my pregnancy and my partner could not understand what was wrong', Nsubuga recalls.

Carol Nabumba, a nurse at NK clinic in Matugga, says one of her clients had a case of woman who would vomit whenever a man entered her clinic when she was in the room. "I did not know what was wrong with her. The first time I thought, it was just about throwing up. I only realised several visits later that whenever a man came in, she would vomit, instantly", Nabumba explains.

Dr Harriet Aciro, a gynaecologist and obstetrician in Adjumani general hospital observes that women undergo different experiences during the course of the pregnancy. 

There are those who experience joint pains. "The joints become soft because the body is preparing itself for the process of birth. Because of the relaxation of the joints, women feel a lot of pain," Aciro explains.

Aciro says some women get constipated. She explains that this is a result of hormones slowing down the movement of the intestines. Others will develop heartburn as a result of acid staying in the stomach for unnecessary long time.

"There are different experiences as there are many pregnancies. It is very devastating", Aciro notes that some people vomit throughout pregnancy, others spit every time, while others fail to sleep or have very little sleep throughout the pregnancy.

"There are others who cannot cope with sex and husbands do not understand this," Aciro says.

She says the ability to cope depends on how much communication between the man and the woman was there before pregnancy.

"It is a continuation of what is there before the pregnancy. If the couple is free and talks openly, even during pregnancy it is easy to communicate."

Why men involvement is important

I would like to share with expecting fathers that your role is more fundamental than you may think.

The support that you lend to the expecting mother is critical for her self-confidence to go through a process that tests even the most strident of agnostics. It is critical at all times to have your humour about you, for it comes in handy at tense times during the expectation.

Teo Namusisi, a counsellor and local leader, says men are important players in improving maternal health because they are decision-makers on issues to do with family size. 

According to Namusisi, this puts many women in a disadvantaged position where they have to wait for their partners and other influential males to choose if and when they are to access health care.

Hajj Hassan Katumba, a father of eight, says men should be made to realise that the health of a female is a societal issue that needs to be prioritised.

He says both formal and informal training for males should incorporate maternal health issues. It is through involving men that some progress in maternal health will be made. All emotional problems need to be expressed.