PARENTING: Does your child know your name?

FAMILY

It was circumcision season. The dancing and merrymaking that preludes the event lured Jackson's daughter into joining a troupe of dancers as they passed by the road near their home.

She was with friends and neighbours, but as the dancing became more exciting, she forgot to stop at a short distance and continued with the rest.

She had heard from her friends about how interesting it is to watch someone being circumcised, so to her, this was time to witness it and have a story to narrate to her friends.

As time passed, she could not see the friends she had come with. She started looking for them, but later relaxed hoping that they were somewhere in the parade.

She continued the merry making. After walking for seven kilometres, she realised she was tired and wanted to rest.

It was getting dark, but she still could not see her friends. Her worries soared when those in the dancing group started melting away one by one, making her realise that she was on her own.

She remembered her father telling her about child kidnap and cautioning her not to trust anyone. At this point, the four-year- old broke down and started crying, asking for mummy and daddy.

This caught the attention of those around her, who started asking who her parents were, but all she could say was mummy and daddy.

She even did not know their home address or her parents' work places. She also did not recognise the place she was in.

All she wanted was to go home, but no one knew her parents. Meanwhile, at home, her parents anxiously waited.

They waited till it got dark but she did not return. Terrified, they mounted a search for her but could not find her.

They rushed to report the matter to the Police. To their surprise, their daughter was at the Police station. 

Like Jackson, most parents out there are reluctant to teach their children their names.

But it is crucial that your child knows your name. There are children who are beaten for calling their parents by their names as many parents prefer their children call them mummy and daddy.

When to start teaching them

Parents begin cooing and talking to their children as soon as they are born.

It is at such interactions that Stephen Langa, a counsellor, says parents should start teaching children their names.

He says it is better if one of the things you say to your baby are things about you and the family such that your children grow up knowing your name.

At about two years, teach them their names, your names and every information that you think is important for them to know.

This is a time when they ask so many questions meaning they are ready to know and understand.

How to do it

Have a chat with your child in a friendly way. It could be in a story form. Then introduce one thing at a time, because you want them to understand you and remember.

Tell them your names and show them that it is exciting to know mummy and daddy's name — you will be shocked to see that they will have so many questions for you.

After you have taught them something, take two minutes to clarify all of that you have taught them to see if they still remember.

"Now you just have to ask your child every once in a while to make sure it stays in their memory.

If your child calls you by your first name, do not try to stop them because they might misunderstand you and think it is bad to know mummy or daddy's name," Langa advises.

Information your child must know

Rose Mary Bwire, a counsellor and a parent says a child knowing their parents' names comes first, but also information about their tribe and culture is important as it helps them appreciate themselves and they get to know who they are. 

She says children should know their home telephone number, their parents' cell phone numbers, their home address and how to call in case they need to communicate to their parents or in case of an emergency.

"It is the reason people now days take their children to cultural schools like ekisaakaate so that they can learn cultural values," Bwire notes.

She adds that, it is also important for your child to know your work and where you work.

This also helps those who attend to them — once the children get in trouble, they know where to run or drive in case the situation calls for that action.

Take them to your workplace once in a while so that they see your working environment.

This also inculcates in them work attitude. You will be amused when they tell everyone how they visited your workplace and this can be a way of making them memorise the name of your workplace.