I hate it when soccer becomes my co-wife

May 16, 2020

Victoria Byenkya is a manager in charge of Women in Business at dfcu Bank. She is passionate about uplifting businesswomen. David Lukiiza spoke to her about her marriage

When did you join the banking sector?

It is now 14 years.

How have you found working in the bank?

I must say it is fun because every day is an opportunity to learn new things from the women I interface with. They have a lot of interesting, but touching stories.

Given the nature of your work, do you have trouble finding time for your children?

Who told you that? I am a hands-on mother. In fact, we have not stayed with a house-help for close to five months now, so I have taught my children most of the house chores. Therefore, I am no longer panicking because I know they know what to do.

Some parents feel that chores are some sort of punishment, do you feel the same?

Not at all, because I realised if I do not do this myself, no one will do it for me. Secondly, our parents invested a lot of time in us to see that we are what we are today. Therefore, this is to prepare them for the future and that is why during the holidays, we agreed not to have a maid in the house.

I thought corporate women, like you, always have someone to do all the chores for their children…

Yes, people do, but what is wrong with a child learning to make their bed, clean their bathroom, cook, mop and wash? I understand it might seem hectic, but it is preparing them and interesting.

How did you meet Didious Byenkya?

We met at a music show through a friend of mine and we became friends. I must say the rest is history as we got married in 2003.               

 How do you balance between your career and family?

I guess we lose it in the young stages of our career when we cannot differentiate what we can do when and where. However, when I leave office, I leave the manager behind and I become a mother, a wife, a housemaid. I have to wear all those hats. Of course, the family suffers a little more because work gets a little more demanding, sometimes.

 What is your best family moment?

When we pray together as a family, and in the morning when we drop off our children to school.

What is your worst moment in marriage?

 Indeed, when soccer becomes my co-wife. I must say I hate the World Cup and Premier League seasons.

Why is it that some career women, especially chief executive officers, have unstable marriages?

I think everybody needs to reflect on where they have been before the rise. All we need is to balance the power we have as chief executive officers.

If you have money, make the most of it; if it is too much for you, find a financial advisor. If you feel you cannot involve your husband in your finances, just know you are in a wrong relationship.

If you are in a constrained relationship, you should reflect on whether you have prioritised your job over your husband.

A word to the women out there

We are the unsung heroes of this country. However, let us support each other because I believe women are going to conquer this world.

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