How to recover from a heart break

RELATIONSHIPS

For whatever reasons, a relationship breakup can be painful as it represents a significant loss to an individual due to thoughts about romance, commitments, excitement, hopes and future plans. The pain and disruption as well as uncertainty becomes unbearable and creates grief.

Grief is a normal process and allowing yourself to grieve may be scary and intense, but it is essential for the healing process. The pain of grief is what helps you to let go.

Normal grieving process ranges from three to six months although it can last longer.

Grieving for two years may be out of the ordinary. It may have turned into what is termed as pathological grief or even depression. You will have to be assessed by a psychiatrist or psychologist and then advised accordingly.

What should one do to recover?

Know the difference between grief and depression. If you cannot feel the need to move on, you do not feel the need to do anything or have lost interest in previously pleasurable activities, you may have developed depression. Lack of sleep, loss of appetite and suicidal tendencies may all point to depression.

Talk about your feelings to a close friend or close relatives. When others understand and hear about what you are going through, they sympathise and it makes you feel better.

There is still a future out there. Although it may seem like life ended with your relationship. You just have to pick up yourself, explore and look further. Happiness is on the horizon.

Do not fight your feelings, but express them. Anger, sadness, fear, relief and confusion occur commonly. Acknowledge them and not suppress them.

Try to move on. Do not dwell in the negative thoughts and over analyse situations. Move out of your closet and meet people not necessarily for romantic relationships, but for companionship and positivity.

Avoid using alcohol, drugs or food to cope. It is destructive in the long run. Explore new interests. Involving in fun activities gives you the chance to enjoy life anew, rather than dwelling on the past.

In conclusion, you do not have to live your whole life grieving about your loss in previous relationship. There is help and hope. You just have to seek it.

Dr Hillary Irimaso, psychiatrist at Kampala Mental Health Clinic at Kampala Medical Chambers Hospital