What do women mean when they say they are sorry?

By Kalungi Kabuye

A few friends of mine have been complaining that my column of late has become much too serious, that they liked it when it was light and largely poked fun at what we as Ugandan are and what we do.

I don’t know if that is really a problem, but at around the same time I was engaged in a debate on social media on what men and women mean when they say “sorry”.

It so happened that one day we had a photo shoot, and the model was supposed to show up at 9:00am, have the make-up done, the shoot begins at 10:00am and by 11:00am we would be through. But she showed up after 10:00am, which meant the whole schedule was thrown into chaos.

The stylist had another job at 10:00am, and we all should have been out of there by 11:00am, so the tension was high and everybody was pissed off. Except the model. She was all serene like nothing had happened.

The stylist, herself a woman, kept on telling her how she had messed up big time, but the model just kept saying “… but I said I’m sorry.”

That got me thinking, maybe women really think that once they have said “sorry”, everything is alright, forgiven and forgotten, and life can go on. Like this guy that was going out with a chick, and he discovered she had slept with her ex.

He confronted her, demanded to know why she betrayed his trust, and at the end made him look a fool in front of the whole town. Her reply? She was sorry.

Sorry? What the hell did that mean? That she was sorry everybody is laughing at him? That she was sorry all the plans they had made were now in ruins? But she just stood there, with tears in her eyes, and kept saying, “I’m sorry”.

What about the lady that was found parked at Game Store in Lugogo one afternoon? She put her car across two slots, blocking one guy’s car in the process. Poor guy comes out with his shopping and cannot get through.
 

In the meantime his boss is calling and asking where he was, didn’t he know there was a meeting scheduled in 10 minutes time?

Of course the guy knew of the meeting, but had reckoned he had enough time to rush to Game and pick up something and be able to drive back to the office in time for the meeting.

He did not know he would come across this lady driver. She eventually strolled up and got into her car, and then proceeded to make a call on her cell phone, oblivious of all the mayhem she had caused.

Eventually poor guy knocks on her car window, and gestures that he wants to drive away, if only she could…?

Lady driver eventually acknowledges poor guys’ presence and rolls down her window. “Can I help you?”  Yes, lady, you parked badly and blocked poor guy from leaving. That is when she does a double take, looks around, and goes … “oh, I’m sorry,” and drives off.

To women, it seems it is all about feeling good after they have been wronged. As long as the apology is sincere, it is all cool and life goes on.

Like that model, she could not understand why we were still mad at her, even after saying she was sorry. Or that chick that cheated with her ex, she expected the guy to take her back, after all she had said sorry.

But guys are different, being sorry means that you have to correct whatever it is that went wrong. If you cannot, he would probably do it himself, like re-arranging that silly ex’s face a million ways. That way both the chick and the ex will be feeling sorry for themselves.