Sex Poll: Married people want privacy from each other

• Asked about who should financially provide for the home, 71% said the man. However, 37% of the men said the woman should also take over the bread-winning role.

By Hialry Bainemigisha

This is the sixth and final report of Saturday Vision’s sex survey that was conducted in July. Today’s revelations are about the family. About 800 respondents were asked about their views on family issues and 248 responses were sampled randomly and feedback data analysed aggregately, using the software known as SPSS.

The final revelation from our online survey is on family. Respondents were asked what a family constitutes, whose religion the children belong to, who should name the children and what their ideal family size is.

Other questions included the preferred gender of the first-born, financial responsibility of couples, stay-home or working wife and whether spouses have the right to check each other’s phones or bags.

WHAT MAKES A FAMILY?

Most respondents said for a family to be whole, there must be a husband, wife and children. Thirty one percent said without children, a couple constitutes family. Just 2% said there must be a wedding. Tribes which argue that children are not necessary in defining a family are the Langi, Bagisu and Basamia. The Alur insisted on a wedding and the Bakiga tied on a wedding and the unit of father, mother and child.

Among the different religions, only the Jehovah Witnesses insisted on a wedding before a family can be constituted. The Born-again could not agree on whether children are needed or not and those who described themselves as being engaged said children were not needed to constitute a family.

CHILDREN’S RELIGION

The question was: If the parents belong to different religions, whose religion should he children follow? Sixty-seven percent voted for the children to take up the father’s religion, 2% said the mother’s and 32% said the children should be shared equally. Tribes which want children to be shared are the Jopadhola, Iteso and Those who are engaged also supported the sharing.

CHILDREN’S NAMES

In most culture, the role of naming a child belonged squarely to the father or his relatives. But the re- spondents though otherwise. Seventy-two percent insisted that both parents should agree on the name.

Seventeen percent said it should be the father, 8% said the duty should be the grandparents’ and 3% said the parents should take turns in providing the name. Only 4% females said the father should name, a clear vote of no confi dence.

The Bafumbira and Bagisu voted 100% for the father. Grandparents were very unpopular and the few votes they got came from the Jopadhola, Iteso, Baganda, Batoro and Banyankole. No one, not even the females , said the mother should name.

FAMILY SIZE

Gone are the days when parents looked at children as a source of wealth and protection. Respondents overwhelmingly said three to four  children were the optimum family size. Seventeen percent wanted five to seven, while 10% did not want any limit.

One child was very unpopular in all tribes, except 4% of Baganda and 8% of Banyankole. Nine percent of men did not want to be limited on the number and no woman wanted more than seven children. Votes for no limits on children came from Baganda and Banyoro, who were especially Catholics.

SEX OF THE FIRST-BORN CHILD

Most respondents want the first-born to be a son. However, when the gender of the voters is considered, more women want a girl as more men opt for a boy. Votes for a girl came from Bagisu, Basoga and Batoro, especially of Born-again and Islam faiths.

Fifty-two percent of the married respondents wanted a boy, 48% a girl. All the engaged and the separated wanted a boy, so did 61% who were dating and 67% of the single status.

DAUGHTERS LEAVING HOME

The question was; should your 18-year-old daughter leave home to rent a house? This is the practice in developed countries, but it seems Ugandans are not yet comfortable with the idea. Ninety-one percent gave a resounding no! Only 9% accepted, mostly, Bagisu.

HOME FINANCING

When respondents were asked whose responsibility it was to financially provide for the home, 71% said the man. However, 37% of the men said the woman should also take over the bread-winning role. Votes for the women to take over came from Bafumbira, Iteso and 25% of the married
group. The Samia drew on the issue.

WHAT KIND OF WIFE?

Even when respondents wanted men to retain their providing roles, 79% did not want a stay-home woman. Twenty-nine percent of the men did not want their wives to leave home for work. Ninety percent of the women did not want to be housewives.  However, the idea of stay-home wives was popular among the Langi, Alur, Lugbar and 80% of the cohabiting respondents. The Iteso drew on the issue.

FAMILY PLANNING

The question asked was whether it was right for the use of family planning methods to be limited to only the wife. Sixty-six percent said the man should also be involved. Men, too, wanted to be involved, but almost half (49%) said it should be a concern of the wife.

Only 12% of the women were ready to let the man off the hook. The rest (88%) wanted him to use the condom, vasectomy and other male-specific methods. Votes excusing men from family planning came from Bafumbira, Langi, Banyoro, Acholi and Iteso.

THE HOME

In most cultures, the home belonged to all close relatives. But those who had specific rights to it were from the extended family. Our respondents were the elite, with access to the internet and were urbanised. However, when asked whether the home should belong to the basic family members of husband, wife and children, the answers almost tied.

Fifty nine percent said it belonged to the nuclear family and the rest are excess baggage, but 41% still found entitlement for room for the extended family.

Females were more open to the extended family than men. Tribes which supported the extended family were the Jopadhola, Madi, Banyoro and Lugbar, especially from the Catholic religion. The Basoga, Basamia, Acholi and Bakiga tied on either.

MONOGAMY VS POLYGAMY

Monogamy is extremely popular with 83% of the votes. Understandably, more men supported polygamy, but 14% of the women also supported it. Twenty-one percent of the Catholics and 17% of the married, all cohabiting and 18% of the singles voted for polygamy. true

PRIVACY
 

The question asked was whether the correspondent agreed that spouses have the right to check each other’s phones and bags. Sixty-six percent, mostly women, said they should have privacy, even within marriage. Thirty-eight percent of the men wanted access to their wives’ phones and bags and so did 30% of women.

Tribes which did not believe in individual privacy within marriage were Bafumbira, Alur, Basoga and Banyankole. The opadhola, Basamia, Acholi and Batoro drew on either.

SURVEY SUMMARY

Over the past five weeks, we have been running stories on a survey Saturday Vision conducted about sex. Below is a summary of the findings.
 

• The Baganda have mastered the art of love in verbal, action and literary expressions. Just listen to their music.
• Most people overwhelmingly voted against sex just for fun, except those in the 45-50 age bracket. Eighty percent said they needed an emotion to feel comfortable enough for sex. Respondents aged below 35 said their conscience bothered them so much when it came to
  sex, but this guilt reduced progressively after 36 years.
• Most males said as soon as you decide the time is right, just ask, even if it is the first date, but most females said do not ask till the dating matures into marriage. Tribes which found no problem with asking for sex on the fi rst date were the Bafumbira and the Itesot.
• In the face of domestic violence, 69% women will run to relatives and 58% men to friends, but only 9% will go to Police (6% men and 13% women) because they do not have confi dence that they will get help. Men complained that they were humiliated because Police officers made fun of them as they handled their cases.
• The majority (72%) said they had never paid for sex directly. The surprises included two women, seven Muslims out of nine and one cohabiting person, who confessed ever paying for sex.