Ten years without sex and I don't miss it

Annet Nandujja is a dancer and a ssenga. She also presents Akasaale K’Omukwano, a relationship programme, on Bukedde 1 TV.

She had a chat with Carol Kasujja on why she is still capable of advising couples on how to make their relationships last even when she is divorced.

Ssenga, these days you look hot, do men still hit on you?

My daughter, there is no woman on earth who is not disturbed by men. What annoys me are the young boys who approach me for love. There is one I told that I was fit to be his mother and he said that he knew who his mother was. Today’s boys don’t fear old women.

You are divorced and are not likely to get married anytime soon. What makes you think that you qualify to tell married people how to handle their relationships?

Listen, I was married for 25 years. Therefore, I have experience and besides, I have the wisdom. So when I am talking about relationship issues, I know what I am talking about. Priests do not marry but they are always the first to counsel married people when they face challenges in their marriages. Old is gold.

Why didn’t you use that advise to sort out your marriage?

I never quarrelled or fought with my husband. I went to the US for two years and when I came back, I realised that it was not fair for me to go on with the marriage. I was hurting my husband.  My absence was going to cause my husband to cheat, and in the process he would be exposed to HIV infection, so to avoid all that, I decided to call it quits to give him leeway to get someone who would always be there for him. I am always travelling.

How do you survive when ‘nature calls’?

I have spent 10 years without having sex or being touched by a man and I am okay with it. My feelings died. I am always busy. Even if I get the urge once in a while; I have things to keep me busy. Those things are for you young girls.

Don’t you miss companionship?

At times when I have problems I miss someone to discus them with. There are things I cannot share with my daughter or any family member and that is when I miss having someone special to comfort me.

As a ssenga, please tell us what men want? Is it sex or food?

That is obvious. Men want sex. The main reason people get married is to have sex. Food comes second. If he wants food, he can always buy it or hire a maid to cook for him. No one should tell you lies. If you fail to please a man in bed and think that your food will keep him from cheating, you are likely to cry because he is going to get a hot chic who will charm him and he will forget about your food in no time. There are women who are good in bed but have no idea what the kitchen looks like and you find that their men love them so much.
 
Today’s men are mean, how can we squeeze money out of them?

Show them true love, care and be there when they are going through a tight situation. If a man trusts you, he will give you everything you ask for unless he is naturally mean or really poor.

These days most women want to be shaved by their husbands, is it advisable?

In our days it was the role of a woman to shave her husband. If you are in love and trust each other, it is fine to shave each other.

Do you think marriage is still valuable?

The number of people who live alone has grown rapidly in recent years, but marriage is still important. Also, being with someone for years and introducing him or her to your friends and relatives does not mean you are fully married. You need to cement your relationship because it is a source of pride to have a happy family.

Do you remember your first boyfriend?

Yes, I do and I even still talk to him, but I will not tell you his name.

Do you think today’s women and young girls make good wives?

Very few. These days you, young girls, love money. Your love is based on money. No money, no  love. Your love is plastic.

The other thing is that you have been spoilt by the many soaps  watch. You want to practise what you watch. You forget that what you see and admire are staged things; simply acted. You expect men to wash and cook for you. You are very plastic. Marriage is for real people. Young girls, stop expecting your husbands to treat you like movie stars.