Campus girl in love with 13-year-old boy

 

 

On Valentine’s Day this year, the campus girl sent Joel a text message, with the meaning of different colours of flowers. Joel was so uncomfortable, but he could not tell his mum about the message. 

 

Joel’s mum, Peace Musimenta, got to know about the girl when Joel went to school and she checked his phone. She realised that this had been going on for long. In her text messages, the girl would teach Joel what to expect in love, sending all sorts of sweet messages, and telling him not to tell his mother about it.

 

Musimenta warned the campus girl about the affair she was driving her son into, and the girl promised that she would stop calling him, although it would not be easy because she loved Joel. She also told Joel’s mum that she was surprised she knew about the relationship.

 

Musimenta shared her experience at a parenting seminar organised by Family Life Network. All the other parents in attendance were shocked.

 

The question is: who needs more help? The girl chasing after the boy or the little boy?

 

Steven Langa of Family Life Network says Joel’s situation offers an opportunity for his mum to open up and talk to him about sex.

 

“It is you, the parent, to talk to your child first before the media and other people do so,” Langa advises.

He says many times, adolescents are neglected by their parents, under the notion that at the right time, the child will know ‘these things’. 

 

“The right time is at the onset of puberty, so do not fail to teach your child about sex as they could learn from other people, which has consequences,” Langa warns.

 

Jamesa Wagwau, a counsellor, says if a parent is too shy to do the talking, they can solicit the help of someone in authority whom the child trusts. This can be a trusted uncle or family friend to whom the child can easily open up to. 

 

Wagwau says in Musimenta’s case, hard as it is, it is crucial that you do not say much to the older girl because you might end up in an unpleasant verbal exchange. 

 

“Let another person talk to her about the relationship to establish how deep it is on both sides.

The girl might be having issues with her emotions and manipulate him because of the heartbreaks from previous relationships,” Wagwau says. 

 

He adds that the campus girl needs serious counselling. “She might be desperate for true love and feels that she can only get it from a younger boy who is less experienced. In her eyes, this is unconditional love. An older man already has too much besides her to take care of.