Need more sex? Wash some dishes

Apr 28, 2013

I was chatting with my friend recently when she told me that her husband helps her with housework, to ensure an active sex life in their relationship.

Sunday Vision
 
By Vicky Wandawa 
 
I was chatting with my friend recently when she told me that her husband helps her with housework, to ensure an active sex life in their relationship.
 
‘‘Whether it means scrubbing stubborn burnt food residue off saucepan bottoms or washing the baby’s soiled, foul-smelling beddings, he will do whatever it takes, to ensure I am not exhausted,’’ she notes.
 
So it got me wondering about how important sex actually is in a relationship, especially among the married.
Michael Gurian, an American author, writes that in a study for his book, VoiceMale, he found that: “The happier a wife is with her husband’s participation in housework, the more sex she has with him. On average, about once a month more.”
 
Gurian adds that once a month more may not seem like a lot, but for those couples who are in the throes of child-rearing when sex happens occasionally, the once-a-month can mean twice as much. 
 
According to the study, men usually do not have to do half of the housework to make their wives happy, but just enough so that she feels supported.
 
A quite contentious issue, on whether men should help out with housework if they want to have sex with their wives arose in one church in Kireka. One of the men noted: “Whenever I ask to have sex, she says she is exhausted from her eight-to-five job and housework,” and the other men nodded in agreement.
 
The women suggested: “Men should help out with housework.” However, the men were up in arms, saying women were simply avoiding their duties.

How to get him to help
Annet Nandujja, panelist on the Akasaale K’omukwano programme on Bukedde TV, says stress from housework or an eight-to-five job is no excuse for rejecting a man’s advances for sex.
 
She also says if a woman wants her husband to help her with household chores, she should be cunning.
 
“Today’s young corporate women grumble while asking the men for help, making statements like, ‘I am not a machine!’ Approach matters. Find an opportune time and tell him calmly that you need his help.’’
 
Explain to him how you will be in a position to go to bed early if he helps out. Grumbling only makes him irritable and may label you a nagging wife,” she warns.
 
Nandujja advises: “The right approach can even change a man who has never helped out with housework to start doing so.”

Making house chores easier 
Ann Asiimwe, a marriage counsellor with Care Counselling Services, says after a particularly long day at work, anyone would cringe at the thought of lighting the sigiri (local stove).
 
“Purchase appliances to help you make a meal in minutes, for example a micro-wave or a pressure cooker, hence reducing the burden. For the sex, however, there is no short cut. Deny him and he will find it elsewhere,”  Asiimwe warns.

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