I lost my ovaries because of post-natal sex

By Vivian Agaba

After being forced by her boyfriend into sex three weeks after giving birth through the Ceasarian section, Namutebi, a mother of one and a resident of Bweyogerere is nursing a raptured ovary and a has lost her marriage.

In the current controversial Marriage and Divorce Bill 2009, there is a proposal that provides for the imprisonment of men for five years if convicted of marital rape.

The Bill proposes the sentence for men who force their wives into sexual intercourse on reasonable grounds such as poor health, surgery and after child birth. Some people think this is farfetched, and yet there are women like Juliet Namutebi for whom this is a harsh reality.

Namutebi meets Mulindwa

Namutebi, a mother of one and a resident of Bweyogerere, went through the ordeal of forced sex under threats of being dumped by her boyfriend if she did not give in to him.

Namutebi met Tom Mulindwa (not real names), at the age of 19 in 2008. He was a fresh graduate from Makerere University Business School.

A few months into their relationship, Mulindwa, who was 25, asked Namutebi to move in with him. She agreed. Though not legally married, the two started planning the number of children they would have.

“My boyfriend wanted four children yet I wanted three, but because of my love for him, we agreed that I would produce the four children he wanted,” says Namutebi. Three years later, Namutebi got pregnant and she confesses that it is the best news she had ever got in her life.

In November 2011, Namutebi and Mulindwa welcomed a baby girl at Mulago Hospital by caesarean section. Both parents were happy.

“When I saw my little girl, I was overwhelmed  with joy amid the pain. I had no regrets, held her tightly, kissed her on the forehead, telling her how much I loved her,” Namutebi narrates with a huge smile.

After three days in the hospital, they were discharged and given directives by the doctors to put off having sex for six weeks to allow Namutebi heal totally.

Mulindwa did not heed the doctor’s orders and started demanding for sex from Namutebi after just three weeks.

Her ordeal

I refused and pleaded that we wait for the period of time given to us to end, but unfortunately, my pleas fell on deaf ears.

He started accusing me of cheating on him with other men, claiming it was the reason I was denying him sex. He also threatened to leave me and find other women who would give him what I was denying him.

I decided to give in to his sexual demands to save the relationship. But immediately after, I started feeling terrible pain in the lower abdomen, but did not take it seriously, thinking the pain would go away.

After three days of regular sex, she started bleeding, though the flow was not heavy. Her boyfriend rushed her to a nearby clinic in Bweyogerere, where she was given an injection that stopped the bleeding. 

When I saw that the firstinjection had stopped the bleeding, I thought everything was fine, so I did not go back for more treatment and we resumed having sex.

Two months down the road, the bleeding started afresh and this time around, the flow was intense and the pain unbearable. We went to the same clinic, but were referred to Mulago Hospital.

Mulindwa disowns her

This time, she was alone. She was scanned and the doctors found that she had a blood clot, pus in her fallopian tubes and one of her ovaries was rotten. She was told she needed an urgent operation or else other internal organs would be affected too.

“The doctor told me my fallopian tubes were very sick, one ovary was rotten and the second one was infected. He said if urgent surgery was not done, I would lose both ovaries,” she says.

Namutebi was asked for sh900,000 for the operation, which she and Mulindwa did not have since none of them was working.

“I wondered where the money would come from. I broke the news to my boyfriend and I even do not want to remember what he said to me,” says Namutebi.

“The man I called the father of my daughter, looked me in the face and said: “That is not my problem. You have been cheating on me with other men and you are bringing your diseases for me to treat. I have nothing to do with you.”

Her troubles resurrect

Mulindwa began to ignore her and the baby, spending three or four days away from home without communicating where he was. After a month, he  left them completely.

Meanwhile, her situation was  worsening and she could not find the sh900,000. Her mother passed on when she was seven years old and her father is paralysed and does not work. She kept going to Mulago to see different doctors, hoping they would have mercy on her.

After three months, her persistence paid off. They told her she could have the operation done for sh400,000.

With a frown, she says: “I did not know who to turn to since my boyfriend had abandoned me with the baby. It was then that I told my friend about it and she suggested we seek help from our church.” Namutebi told a church leader in Blessed Church, Bweyogerere about her situation.

The leader told other Christians, who raised the money and she went to Mulago for an operation.