Crazy crazy happenings

Smoking a dozen cigarettes

WAKISO - The man pictured above was seen at One Love Beach in Busabala ‘smoking’ more than a dozen cigarettes at a go. The stunt attracted many beach-goers, some of whom bought him more cigarettes to keep the show going. Crazy, yeah?

Clerics fight over corpse

KAMULI - A stampede ensued at a funeral in Butansi village when clerics of the Anglican Church and those of the Born-again (Balokole) faith traded blows over a body.

The dead man was identified as Moses, who was a member of the Anglican Church.

The family of the deceased reportedly invited clerics from the Born-again faith after those from the Anglican Church delayed at a graduation ceremony.

The family’s decision followed complaints by mourners who had grown impatient. No sooner had the Born-again clerics arrived at the burial ground than the Anglican clerics also arrived, and each group tried to start prayers.

A scuffle ensued as the clergy attacked each other while the mourners cheered on. Unbelievable, but yes, true!

By the time arbitrators intervened to stop the scuffle, Bibles, hymn books and tables were scattered all over the place.

Realising it was a losing battle, the Born-again clergy retreated as the Anglicans jumped around punching the air in triumph, reminscent of a football match well won.

While delivering their message, the clergy criticised the family for causing the mishap.  God have mercy!

Nurses accused of taking maternity leave without any pregnancy

LAMWO - Female health workers in Padibe have been accused of taking ‘maternity leave’ even when they were not pregnant. Michael Pacoto, the speaker of Padibe town council, recently said patients were often left unattended to because nurses were reportedly on leave.

He made the remarks during a workshop organised by UWONET, a women rights NGO, in Padibe.

However, the district chairman, Matthew Ocen Akiya, dismissed the claims, saying it was not possible for a worker who has not given birth to be given maternity leave.

Man loses ear over betting ticket

WAKISO - A man in Kyaliwajjala, Wakiso district, lost his ear during a fight over a betting ticket. Musa and Kyeyune had contributed sh1,000 each to buy a betting ticket. Musa reportedly kept the ticket which later won.

However, despite the two being close friends, Musa disappeared with the ticket until the following morning.

When Kyeyune met him and asked for his share of the money they had won, Musa told him he had not claimed the money because he had lost the ticket. The two then engaged themselves in a heated verbal exchange, with each calling the other a thief.

When Musa insisted he had lost the ticket, Kyeyune grabbed him and a fight inevitably followed.

Unfortunately, by the time people intervened to separate them, Musa had bitten off Kyeyune’s ear. The two were taken to the LC1 chairman, where they settled their case. Oh dear me! What are friends there for?

trueWoman roughs up man over stolen necklace

KAMPALA - An unidentified woman recently roughed up a man in the city centre, accusing him of grabbing her necklace.

The woman ran after the man and grabbed him by the neck, before slapping him and demanding to get her accessory back.

With the help of other people, the woman dragged the man up to the Police post at the Old Taxi Park in the congested downtown Kampala.

She told the Police the man had swallowed her necklace and vowed to stay there until he passed it out in stool, saying it was very expensive. Can you imagine!

Local leader caned over stealing beer, soda

WAKISO - Residents of Kyengera town enjoyed free drama on Saturday when their chairman asked the Police to cane him, instead of arresting him over stealing 20 crates of beer and soda.

The chairman, popularly known as 'Munamasaka', was caught red-handed loading crates of beer onto a pick-up truck.

'Munamasaka' and three other men reportedly broke into a shop at midnight during a storm, using the storm to muffle their sneaky act.

As they were about to drive off, a neighbour came to the shop, asking to talk to the shopkeeper. The suspects then tried to walk away, but the neighbour raised an alarm, which woke up the shopkeeper.

Residents converged and called the Police. The chairman then pleaded with the Police officers to cane him, instead of arresting him, which they did. Whatever has gone into people's heads, your guess is as good as mine!

Woman sings gospel song after visiting shrine

KAMULI - A middle-aged woman last week amused people at a shrine, where she had gone to consult a witch doctor [traditional healer, if you prefer], when she walked away singing a gospel song.

According to witnesses, when the light-skinned woman entered the shrine, the witchdoctor closed the door and murmurs and the sound of shakers (locally known as ensaasi) could be heard from outside.

After about 10 minutes, the woman reportedly came out with a frown on her face.

She then started singing Judith Babirye’s popular Gospel hit, “Ngenda nentuula n’enfumitiriza nze ku mukwano gwa Yesu, bweyanjagala, bweyerekereza eggulu n’akka………ooooooh,” ( I sit and ponder about Jesus’ love, how he relinquished heaven and descended here…oooooh.).

On-lookers laughed at her, saying the spirits might have disappointed her, so she decided to re-surrender her life to Jesus. Hmmm . .  .

Bodaboda man bathed in public

KAMPALA - A bodaboda cyclist was forced to bathe by his colleagues at the Wandegeya stage on Makerere Hill Road.

The incident happened after cyclists decided to carry out an operation to rid their stage of dirty and unkempt colleagues. The cyclists then grabbed Salongo, undressed him and washed him thrice from different sites as residents cheered.

Ssalongo was also given 10 strokes of the cane before the cyclists raised money and bought him a bar of soap and clothes.