Be your own valentine

 

Maureen Nakatudde gives tips on how you can make the day work for you.

 

 

Instead of whining about how you are alone and unloved, use that time to search yourself. Jessica Katumba, a counsellor in Kampala, says: “There is no way you can love another person if you hate yourself. Having truly loved yourself, then you can truly love another person.”

 

 

Forget about looking for a person who can love you, you can truly love yourself and focus on being happy. Remember that though some couples wear a brave face, most of them are dealing with some major issues at one time or another. As a single person, be grateful that you still have time to make the correct decision about a partner.

 

Be content that, for now, you do not have to experience some of the drama that couples may be facing, like break-ups, conflicts and constant compromises. As a single person you can have fun by yourself. Remember there is time for everything. 

 

 

Do not wait for an ex to call you for a re-union or for that girl or boy who has been setting his or her eyes on you to call or buy you gifts. Indulge in something you love. Some people go as far as writing Valentine’s cards to themselves. Leah Namusoke, a sales executive, says while she was single, she bought herself a card and posted it to herself.

 

She says she felt a lot of joy when she received it, just as if someone else had sent it to her. Namusoke says buying yourself flowers can lighten up your dull moments. It can also be fun to buy yourself that indulgent gift you have always wanted.

 

 

Instead of hiding under the covers and shedding tears, get dressed and go out. Go dancing, to a movie or eat out. Whose rule was it that you were supposed to go out with someone? Betty Kitonsa, a teacher in Kampala, says she takes herself out and does not mind siting alone in an elegant hotel, eating or spending a night there.

 

 

Whereas some people believe that Valentine’s Day is only for people in a romantic relationship, Katumba says the day can also be enjoyed by other people. You can spend it with your family, friends or relatives. You can choose to do the things you love together, like watching movies or sharing a good meal. 

 

 

At this time, your attitude is more important than the general outlook of life. If you say you are incomplete because you are not yet hooked to a person, then you are.

 

Some people take themselves as incomplete and seek out unhealthy relationships. Katumba says the other person in a relationship only adds onto your joy, but does not create it. “You are solely responsible for your joy and wellbeing,” says Katumba.

 

 

Why feel bogged down by the entire flurry that surrounds St. Valentine’s Day? This day is just like all the other days that come and go.

 

You can choose to carry on with your normal programme, like work, going to the gym and watching television. There is no need to stress about that one day.