Singer/actress Evelyn Lagu found love in Juba

Oct 08, 2014

I’m singer and a movie actress. I was born Evelyn Nakabira in Kalungu, Masaka, on June 1, 1982. Both my parents died when I was a child. I never saw my dad. When I was young, I was sent to Mityana to live with my aunt who worked as a midwife and her husband, the late George William Lubega

By Joseph Batte

Briefly first tell us about yourself

I’m singer and a movie actress. I was born Evelyn Nakabira in Kalungu, Masaka, on June 1, 1982. Both my parents died when I was a child. I never saw my dad. When I was young, I was sent to Mityana to live with my aunt who worked as a midwife and her husband, the late George William Lubega. My aunt did not have children.

She was very strict, but she loved me and brought me up us as her daughter. I went to several schools because I was naughty. I went to Aga Khan, Mityana SS, Pride SS Mityana and finally, St. Peter’s SS Busubizi, where I completed my A’levels in 1999.

Who was your first boyfriend and how did you meet?
He was called Meddie Sentongo. I have heard that he is very rich these days. Back then, in Mityana, he was poor. I remember he used to work as a DJ at Club Audio.

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I was a wild young girl in puberty and I used to sneak out of the house at night to go to the club where he worked. That’s how we met. It was very easy for me to fall for him. At the time, I remember, there were only three good-looking boys in our village and Meddie was the most handsome of them.

He was this Prince Charming. He was a DJ. A celeb, you know. When he made advances towards me it happened so quickly. I fell in love. I loved his smile, the way he talked, pretty much everything about him.

What was that relationship like?

It did not work out as I expected. It was full of pain, heartbreak and tears. First, he was so handsome every girl was literally fighting for him. I discovered he had a long list of girls he used to sleep with. Every time I learnt of a new girl, I broke down and cried. I was literally in tears all the time because of him. What hurt me is that he did not seem to care how I felt.

How did it end?

Our break cup came under unfortunate circumstances. Meddie infected me with enziku (gonorrhea). One day after sleeping with him, I went home feeling an irritating itch in private parts. I did not know what it was, so I told my auntie about it.

It was a big mistake. I forgot that she was a midwife. She checked me and was shocked to discover that not only was I infected with a sexually transmitted disease, I was no longer a virgin.

She beat me savagely and locked me up in the car garage with only a bucket to ease myself in. I will never forget that day. It was downright embarrassing to discover I had been infected by gonorrhea; and by of all people, Meddie Sentongo.

Did you tell him about the infection?

No. I did not tell him because we did not meet again. I can’t blame him. He was the most handsome boy in the village and the girls were literally begging to sleep with him.

How did you let him go?

After the beating, I thought hard about my relationship with Meddie. I realised it could have been worse. But it was not easy to get him out of my mind. Although I did not contact him, I still hoped to get him back into my life. What hurt me is that he never bothered to contact me again. I interpreted his snub to mean that he did not love me.

Why did that relationship

The breakup was inevitable. Our love was imbalanced. I loved Meddie but he did not love me back. No matter what I did, I was always the one feeling miserable. He was a player and full of himself. He was also very young.

Do you realise Meddie will read this?

Yes. I hope he will understand that I’m talking about the younger Meddie. Besides, it’s a fact he was my first boyfriend. What happened did happen. My story should serve as a warning to girls who are as wild as I was. Don’t play this game. These are bad days.

You seemed quite reckless...

There was a time I stole my aunt’s new dress and her wig and wore them to impress Meddie. She never found out. But in 1996, I stole sh200,000 from her to hire a taxi for myself and fellow students. We escaped from school and travelled all the way from Mityana to Club Silk in Kampala. I remember one of the students was Nico, Iryn Namubiru’s brother.

How did you gain access to the club?

At the time Club Silk security would not allow girls with one inch hair to gain access, as they were deemed too young. So, I used part of the money I had stolen to buy wigs for the girls, so we appeared older. It worked. We had no problem entering the club.

What happened upon your return?

The school administration carried out a search to see which students had sneaked out. We found the headmaster waiting for us. I was singled out as the ring leader. I was given the ‘red carpet’ treatment — caned until I bled-- and suspended. I was told to return with my parents. That was when my aunt discovered I had stolen her money. She beat me and I swore never to steal again.

How did you meet your second boyfriend?

It was during my vacation when I came to Kampala. He was called Andrew Sekisonge and was a teacher. He is the father of my only son, Fred Kasavu. We met at a shop we both frequented. One thing led to another and I moved in with him. But within a short time, life became hell.

Every time he got drunk he would unbuckle his belt and whip me. The following morning, he would kneel down, apologize and blame it on the booze.

And I would forgive him. But as soon as he touched another bottle of beer, there were more beatings! It is really devastating to be abused emotionally, psychologically, verbally and physically by someone you love, the father of your child. Every time he beat me I cried for help, but our neighbors never got involved.

The last straw was when he threatened to kill me and bury me in the backyard. I finally decided, “Enough. I’m done with this man. I’m going to leave him.”

Were you cheating on him?

At the time, I used to sing with the Mustard band. Every time I returned home late after a gig, he thought I had been cheating. I would explain that I was working but he did not seem to understand. I had this wild streak, but I had always been faithful to my boyfriends. I stick to one lover.

How did you leave him?

In 2008, a friend called Duncan Mwesigwa asked me if I was interested in joining his band in Juba, for sh50,000 per night. That was great compared to the sh10,000 or sh8,000 I was earning.

This was the opportunity I had been waiting for to escape my abusive husband. I did not tell anybody I was going to Sudan. I took my child to an aunt’s home and left with only the clothes on my back. I did not touch anything in the house because I wanted to think I was still around. He never saw me again.

How did you meet your sweetheart?

One day, Duncan introduced me to his friend, Anthony Bechu Lagu Androga, whom I learnt was a lawyer with his own firm, Lagu and Associates. He was a former minister who had served in Garang’s government. With time, we became good friends. He was very kind to me. He would take me out to dinner and even taught me how to drive.

Life in Juba was difficult. I used to sleep in a tent. But whenever I ran out of money, he cam to my rescue. This went on for eight months. During that time, he never mentioned love.

How did Mr. Lagu break the silence?

We were coming from dinner. I was wearing a black dress and he had parked under a tree. He reached out, touched my hand and asked me: “Evelina… Can you settle for a relationship?” I promptly replied thinking he was just seeking my advice as a friend. But the second question caught me by surprise. He asked: “Can you be my wife”... I did not have any words.

So I simply replied, “I think I can.” He was not done. He added: “But I have a wife and kids”. I told him that was not a problem, I also had a child. I told him as long as he promised to truly love me, I did not have any problem. But I begged him not to mistreat his wife because of me. He then said, “You will have to leave Sudan and return to Uganda.

This country is too hot. I will take care of you from there”. I could not wait to leave that country. I had seen kids playing with AK47 guns like they were toys. One day my husband saved me from a Dinka who fell for me while I was performing.

He even brought his relatives to show them his ‘wife’. When I turned him down, he threw a box of American dollars at my feet, put a gun to my head and threatened to shoot me.

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Your husband appears old enough to be your father. What kind of man is he?

Why are Ugandans so obsessed with age? According to my experience, the older a man is the more loving and romantic he is. The two men who made my life hell were younger. They did not know what they wanted. My sweetheart Lagu is the kindest man I have ever met. He is humble and loving. He is a father, brother and husband all wrapped in one.

When he sees me going astray, he counsels me. In the seven years we have been together, he has never mistreated me. I have no reason to cheat on him because we respect each other.

Have you found your true love? And how do you maintain a long-distance relationship?

For the last seven years our love has been growing. Most Ugandan men are fake. They can’t get close to four percent of the love that he shows me. Most Ugandan men don’t know how to care for their lovers.

They don’t call, or care about what you are wearing! But my husband cares. We call each other every 30 minutes, even when I am going to the market.

We fell in love despite our age difference and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. We are crazily in love with each other.

Does your co-wife know you exist? Have you ever met?

Yes she does. But we have never met. I think she is very understanding. She knows that our husband is polygamous. When I introduced our husband to my family she never called to threaten me like most Ugandan women often do.

Other than loving you, what else has Lagu has done for you?

He has bought me cars. He is constructing a house for me. Every time I feel like going abroad for holidays, I just call him and he pays for all the expenses. If he is not busy, we go together. He lives in Sudan; he knows that I have bills to pay. He treats my son as his own. Actually, my son believes he is his real dad. That’s why my love for Mr. Lagu is higher than the heavens.

Your last word

I thank Mr. Lagu for coming into my life, for being a good father and a good husband to me. I pray that God gives him a long life so that he takes care of us. I promise to love him with every part of my being and give him lots of children, God willing, of course.

Who is evelyn lagu?

Although she was not well known until recently, Evelyn Lagu is considered one of the finest singers and actresses on the local scene. She has performed with Mustard and Flash bands and sung backup vocals for (the late) Carol Nakimera, Halima Namakula, Ragga Dee, Makoma and most recently, Mampi from Zambia

Her songs include:
Me is me (with Dr Hilderman), Ogumanga, Wanjawulo, Mberawo and she has appeared in over 15 local movies and two series including: Brenda, Ndugudemu, Bizibu Family, Butalika Hospital, Zubairi (series), Birabwa and Ekyirungo

Women should be patient

Understand the way a man’s mind works and you’ll be able to read him like a book, all the time. Ugandan girls are very materialistic.

They should give their men time. If a man loves you he will take care of all your needs, you don’t need to nag him. I have never asked a man for anything in my life. Give your man time. Listen to him.

Make him your friend. You must know that love is not some kind of joyride all the time. It’s full of stress. Create a light atmosphere at home. Men should love their women with all their hearts.

A new woman should not make you forget your wife. Age does not matter in a relationship. It has instead helped me respect my man. I’m submissive to him.