Make your child a priority

trueParenting is about setting priorities and such priorities need to take your child’s developmental interests into consideration.

 

You are walking a tight rope and the decision you take must be well thought out. 

 

You mentioned that your son will be making three years soon. At this tender age your son needs you, more than schooling. He needs a consistent adult with whom he can bond; a tower of refuge he can run back to, as he explores the scary world.

This is a crucial stage in your son’s growth; a stage when the parents’ presence really matters. 

 

The first three years of life lays a critical foundation for brain development and influences a child’s future learning. A human brain is by nature a social organ that evolves only through continuous interaction with its environment.

 

The child’s brain development is determined by the environment in which the child lives and how he interacts with it.

 

Central to the brain development is the need for close family members, parents or caretakers with whom the child interacts.

 

This age therefore presents a window of opportunity which you can use to make a lasting mark in your child’s life. It is at that age when your son will be building his verbal communication skills, interpersonal skills and ability to bond with other people. 

 

What makes this more challenging is the fact that this stage is passing away and you need to utilise it while it lasts. Issues to do with children or parenting cannot be dealt with in a clear-cut of ‘either-or’ fashion. Every situation is different and people involved are also uniquely different. Your situation calls for a logical and realistic assessment before any decision is made. 

 

Sometimes what looks or feels good is not necessarily right. Taking your son to a boarding school at the age of three might have a heavy toll on the boy’s psychological well-being. 

 

Each child responds to parents’ absence differently. What remains clear is that parental absence at a tender age impacts negatively on a child’s ability to learn and socialise.

 

This, notwithstanding, circumstances beyond your control might compel you to consider the boarding school option. Where boarding school becomes an inevitable option, it is important to work out a consistent school visit program that enables you to maintain the bond with your son.  It would also require that you endeavour to spend quality time with him every time you visit. 

 

You alone understand your circumstances and what would work best for you. It might be tempting for you to think about your career interests above anything else. Remember, the child is in this mix and he is at a very vulnerable age.

 

Whichever decision you take, please ensure that the child’s developmental interests are catered for. Your son is at a critical age when his brain being is shaped for future learning. Anything that goes wrong now might have serious future implications. Even as you climb your career ladder try not to sacrifice your son on the altar of your career success.