Nambooze's decade of romance

Betty Nambooze, 43, the Member of Parliament for Mukono Municipality and her husband, Henry Bakileke, 45, chose Friday 23, November, to celebrate a decade of love and recommit their marital vows.

They hosted their guests to a sumptuous dinner at Colline Hotel, Mukono. From their home in Nakabago, Mukono, the couple shared with Samuel Lutwama the events in their lives since they first met in class in 1986.

Who is Nambooze?

Two decades ago, she was a small ordinary girl. But today she is a wife, a mother and a member of parliament.

“It is amazing to think about my humble life and the events that have shaped my life since I was born in 1968,” she says.
Nambooze was born in a family of eight children; four boys and four girls and was raised up in Mukono, where her late mother lived.

“My mother was a perfect example of a true parent. She raised the eight of us single-handedly. She was an inspiration. By the time she passed away, she had already influenced my life positively,” Nambooze says.

She says her father was a visitor in their home. “He visited us once every three months to see our school reports.”
However, she says upon her marriage, Bakileke filled the gap created by her father.

And Bakileke?

He is a soft-spoken man who sprang up from a stable family background. Born and brought up in Kotoosi, Bukunja in Mukono district by both parents, the late John Wanyo and Fillister Nanteza.

Many describe him as a friendly and religious man. Bakileke owes his personality to the life-changing experiences he went through in life. It is perhaps these experiences that have influenced his faith in God, so strong that when he talks about it he could easily be mistaken for a preacher.

How our love was born

Nambooze the MP knows the art of bullying opponents. Ironically, it is from bullying that she found love and marriage.

“I met Henry while in Senior Three. He was a new boy in the school, but he often bullied me. Quite often, he made fun of my petite size and I also paid back by calling him a shabby boy.”

As all this happened, a feeling of affection was developing, says Bakileke. With time, he confesses that the mere mentioning of Nambooze’s name made him uncomfortable.

“When I discovered I was falling in love with Nambooze, I stopped hounding her on grounds of her petite size,” he says. A casual friendship sprouted and they started exchanging love letters.

In one of the letters, Bakileke expressed his love to spend the rest of his life with Nambooze. She replied, promising to marry him when she comes of age. Little did the two know that the statements in the letters were prophetic.

In 2002, the two were united in Holy Matrimony at St. Peter’s Church, Nsambya.
A few months into their marriage, Nambooze ventured into the political world and she gained social acclaim for the way she presented her ideas on local political platforms, the ebimeeza.

Soon, her influence caught the attention of her political adversaries and a plan was hatched to silence her. One day, while nursing her baby girl, Tendo, she was arrested and jailed.

“We had just been married for three months when she was arrested. I was deeply troubled by the events, but resorted to prayer,” he recounts.

“From the time she was arrested, I instituted a prayer altar, where we converged and prayed for her release. In a vision, I saw Jesus assuring me that all would be well,” Bakileke explains the circumstances that shaped his spiritual life.

It is widely said that man is a creature of circumstances. Bakireke says his wife’s arrest gave him the conviction to support her more in her political ambitions. 

“My husband is proud of me and has come to accept the attention that comes along with my political calling,” says Nambooze.

She adds that her husband has become an integral part of her political calling. A smile on Bakileke’s face confirms Nambooze’s assertion as the two sat at the dining table to eat.

An innocent promise ties the two together

“Our love was hinged on letter writing. We used to write love letters since it was the only way we could easily express our feelings. Then one day, in his letter, he expressed his desire to marry me.

“Without giving it much thought, I wrote back to him and promised that I would do so. A lot happened along the way and we lost touch for some time, but the promise brought us back together.”

She recounts further: “After so many years, he repeated the same thing, but by then, I was not as sure as I had indicated much earlier. At that time, he pulled out the letter, where I promised to marry him. On seeing it again, I knew I was bound by a promise I had earlier made.”

Marriage constitution

“Marriage is stressful, if not guided by God,” she says. With a demanding career of a politician, a wife and a mother, one is bound to fail without proper guidelines.”

“My husband one day brought an art piece which outlines the guidelines of a successful marriage and that became our constitution in marriage.”

Keeping the candle of love burning

“There are times when we go through challenges and we prefer being apart. Sometimes I just want to be on my own,” says Nambooze.

She adds: “For instance, when we have unresolved issues, I may choose to sleep in one our children’s rooms or on the couch, but I do not move out beyond the confines of my marital home. Problems are inevitable in marriage, but how you handle them matters.

“We do not shield our children from the affection we give each other as well as the challenges we go through as parents. We want them to be armed with real life experiences. We believe once our children grow, they may probably go through the same challenges.”

She says that does not give them permission to kiss before their children, but ‘can hold hands and show affection to each other’. “Before them, we use mummy and daddy and change to Betty and Henry when away from them.”

Bakileke on handling marital affairs

When most couples enter marriage, they always expect a smooth ride, without any challenges.
As a couple, we have our share of challenges, but we have learnt to amicably solve them for the sake of our marriage. Over the years, I have come to understand that marriage is about commitment, not feelings.  You commit your life to someone.

I have heard of men abandoning their families once their wives join politics. I believe that in life, we do not run away from challenges, but rather to endure until it becomes a testimony.

Although my wife has gained social acclaim because of her political influence, while at home, her influence is controlled. There is a saying that power without control is powerless. I believe our position of influence have to be controlled for us to live harmoniously.

A Muslim’s rosary gift and a Catholic’s Koran

The Bakilekes have a big rosary hanging in their sitting room.  “When the Lord Mayor (Erias Lukwago) visited Jerusalem, he brought me a rosary as a gift,” Nambooze said.

Two Korans are placed strategically in the living room. Nambooze says one of the Korans was given to her in 2003 by Sheikh Shaban Mubajje when she was in prison.

“You are imprisoned for saying the truth, but we stand with you,” Nambooze quotes Mubajje telling her as he handed her the holy book.

“Those words left an indelible mark in my heart,” she says.

Anniversaries

Nambooze says on their 10th wedding anniversary, the priest who said the mass gave them five principles of a successful marriage.

“He asked us to pray as a family, celebrate our marriage anniversary and renew our vows by taking a fresh commitment and honouring important events in our lifetime, whether good or bad,” said the MP.

“For instance, the day I lost my mother is always etched on the family calendar and we mark it with prayer.”

The making of the politician

One of the elements that probably contributed to Nambooze’s position in politices dates back to her childhood. The little girl grew up in company of many boys and was quite often teased about her size. In defence, she always countered their arguments with facts.

“I think it was during that time that I developed the passion for politics,”she reveals. She says her father wanted her to become a doctor, which, according to him, was the only gate pass to a brighter future.

Money management

Money matters constitute a major cause of family breakdowns. Nambooze believes that no family can escape the problems brought about by money, unless the husband and wife are transparent.

“From the onset of our marriage, we agreed to have a joint account and that has created a lot of transparency between us,” she revealed.

The lawmaker said when she joined Parliament, the accountant of the House asked her to have a separate account, saying it would delay the process of payment, but she refused.

“I reckoned, five years of being a parliamentarian would not change what we had agreed on from the beginning of our marriage,” she says.

Bakileke on being a husband, leader and lover

When Nambooze is at home, she is Mrs. Bakileke. outside home, she is a politician. And I am happy that she is not carried away by her political position.

As the head of the family, I have to provide leadership whereas my heart has to provide affection in the family.

Through God’s grace, I have learnt that loving my wife and family is a full time assignment. With love, we can tolerate each other’s weakness and encounter challenges.