Dealing with HIV at 22

22-year-old Dourine (not real name) found out a year ago that she was born with HIV, and although she still hasn’t come to a place of calm with her status, Dourine lives a positive life and is getting treatment at Infectious Diseases Institute (IDI) at Mulago. She shared her experience with Vicky Wandawa

 

 

From as far back as I can remember, I have always taken syrups and tablets. No one told me I was HIV positive. I was only told I had sinusitis. But last year when I fell sick, I was taken to Mulago Hospital, where I heard a doctor say to my father, ‘you have to tell this girl, because if you don’t, she will keep missing her drugs’. That is when he broke the news.

 

The reason I fell sick is that I used to miss taking my drugs, sometimes for three days, because I did not know how serious my condition was.

 

I couldn’t believe it; I cried; I wanted to die. I started asking myself questions like why it had to be me. My father got me a counsellor; my brother and father hired him. So when I went home, he was always there to counsel and talk to me; he made sure I could move on with my life.

 

I was taken to CDC where most of the patients were old. Whenever I walked in to get my drugs, they would start talking about how a young girl like me could have got HIV. It was so uncomfortable that I loathed that place. When my counsellor heard about it, he got me another place where young people go at IDI (Infectious Diseases Institute).

 

I found some kids who were even younger than me. I felt better. ¬ en, I just moved on with my life.

 

 

I was once in a relationship, but my boyfriend went abroad after Form 4. I was in S.1 when we met and he was in S.2. We’d taken our relationship to another level.

 

Yes it was, not because I was protecting him from HIV, but I was scared of getting pregnant. Besides, then I didn’t know I even had HIV.

 

I have been with many guys; one day he likes you, the next day you hear stories that he is cheating. Although this is before I sleep with them or tell them my status. I have given relationships a break.

 

The¬ e guys I see are younger than me, while some are my agemates. I need a mature man. Down to earth, loving, understanding and those people are not here (at IDI).

 

 

My counsellor asked me to close that chapter until I feel stable. Each time I try, I get frightened. I don’t want stress.

 

We are told that if you stress yourself and you are positive, it’s a bad thing because you are adding another disease to the HIV.

 

That is why I am not in a relationship. I have never been in a relationship since I found out. I wonder how my exes will react.

 

 

My mother died when I was about eight.

 

She is the only person I’d blame, but she is not here. I thought if she was here, she perhaps would have told me that I was sick.

 

I feel my dad was left with too much to handle on his own.