Would you date your workmate?

The latest rumour making rounds at your company is that Amos in the marketing department and Martha, the librarian, are “seeing each other”.

 

 The two are aware that there is a well-written, widely publicised, strictly-enforced policy against office romance, but they are so in love that they cannot be bothered by it.

 

Forget about the traditional meeting places such as church, parties, cinema and the neighbourhood, these days we meet our special people in the office.

 

Recent surveys have indicated that many relationships start at work; not surprising perhaps because people are spending more time in the office.

 

The highs I have dated at office and trust me, dating a co-worker is fun. You turn on your computer and there are 20 new e-mails in your in-box, seven of which are about actual work issues. 

 

The rest are from the cute guy in the production department. The thought that you both exist in the same environment is exciting, because you monitor his movements, you have time to flirt, sexual glances during lunch time, you do not have to wait for evenings or weekends to see him and work can be more exciting.

What is more interesting is that you do not spend a lot on airtime since you can have long conversations on the intercom.

 

The lows

But at times it is not simple, especially when everyone starts gossiping about you.

And, if the romance sours, you can regret why you ever met. Your only prayer is to see your ex dead because you do not want to meet them in the corridors or even attend company parties because you might bump into them. And it is worse if you are dating a boss.

Romance in the office might be an exciting and thrilling experience. Who knows, this might be the exact place where you can meet your lifetime partner? However, like all other relationships, there are ups and drawbacks that you need to consider if you are really keen on moving on with this kind of relationship.

Advice

Ann Tweheyo, a counsellor at Uganda Christian University, says: “Office romance is fairly common these days as the office is where we spend so much of our time and there is nothing wrong with adults dating as long as they are in a serious relationship.”

 

She adds: ‘The good thing about office romance is that you will have some happy workers. When people are happy they tend to be more productive and have fewer health issues. 

When partners work for the same employer, they have someone they can talk to about their activities and problems at work, someone who understands and can help them resolve issues.”

 

Tweheyo advises that couples should make sure that their relationship does not interfere with other people’s work. If you are in love, send each other e-mails, call or make facial expressions without annoying your colleagues. If you see your partner getting close to somebody else, do not get jealous.

 

However, Eseza Byakika, the human resource manager at Mogas Oil, says it is unprofessional to date at the work place.

 

“In our company we strongly discourage office dating. In fact, if employees disobey and go ahead to date or marry each other, one of them has to leave the company,” Byakika notes.

 

She adds, if the relationship ends, the company suffers because one might decide to resign since they are not comfortable seeing their ex daily.

 

‘‘If one of you is the boss, it is inevitable that colleagues will scrutinise your every move for signs that you are favouring your loved one. It may even mean that you end up offering less attractive assignments to your partner, just to make sure everyone knows you are not giving him or her special treatment. 

It affects decision making.

“To control sexual harassment accusations and lack of focus during working hours, we have policies discouraging dating in office,” she advises.

 

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Do not date a subordinate

It is one thing to date your professional equal, but avoid dating someone who reports to you. Not only might this cause problems in the relationship, but it also opens you up to charges of sexual harassment and playing favourites.

 

Leave it at home

 

Do not discuss issues concerning your relationship with co-workers. Do not engage in public displays of affection or flaunt your love in office.

 

Do not fight with your partner at the workplace

 

 

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Certain differences in communication styles and emotional expressiveness between you and your partner need to be accepted.

 

You cannot make an introvert outgoing, and likewise, do not expect an extrovert to happily sit home every evening. 

 

Love them the way they are and you are likely to have a healthier fulfilling relationship.