My parents proposed for me - Luwalira

The Bishop of Namirembe Diocese, the Rt. Rev.  Wilberforce Kityo-Luwalira, has been married to Faith Nakitende for 23 years. Samuel Lutwama caught up with Kityo and his wife

 

Marriage has been watered down by social influence. In the past, looking for a partner was a matter that involved the family of the groom and that of the bride. The bride had no role in choosing her prospective husband. If her family consented, she was expected to take on the man.

 

Those days, when a man or woman delayed to get a companion, it created social pressure as was the case with me, before Faith came into my life. 

 

By 1987, I was serving as youth leader of Namirembe Diocese, but had not yet found the woman of my life. At that time, Faith was a teacher at Gayaza Junior School.

 

In1976, when I got saved, I vowed not to indulge in premarital sex until I met a woman chosen by God. God helped me keep that vow. 

 

Surprisingly, my wife was also still a virgin. As was the norm, we were a product of an arranged marriage between our families. 

 

Faith came into my life at a time when I was facing a lot of social pressure from my family and church. It took the initiative of my fellow deacon, Samuel Mpalanyi and some of my aunts, to find me a suitable companion. In short, they proposed for me.

 

I cannot recall how many times our parents cautioned us on fearing God and telling us how evil premarital sex was. Sadly, my parents died in 1985, before they witnessed our wedding. That was my darkest year. I lost my parents in a space of four months. My mother was asthmatic. She suffered an attack which killed her four months after my father’s death. 

 

After paying bride price to Faith’s family, the wedding plans began. “We got married on September 2, 1989 at Namirembe Cathedral and held a reception at Mother’s Union Hall later that evening.

 

At the time we started our marital journey, I was struggling financially. “I was living in a small room at the diocese. However, when I got married, the room became too small for us. 

 

Today, the room houses security men who guard the diocese’s premises.

Our humble start was not a bother, as we believed that better things lay ahead. 

 

Early in our marriage, Faith fell sick and was bedridden for over three months. My small earnings were constrained as days turned into months. I was apprehensive about her life and the future of our marriage, but through God’s grace, she got well.

A year after our wedding, we had our first child. Esther Grace Nabembe was born in 1990. Today, she is in second year at the university. Our second-born, Samuel Daniel Mpalanyi Sekakubo, is yet to join Kyambogo University. The third-born, James Musasizi, is in Senior Four at King’s College, Budo and our last-born, Faith Nantume Wanyana, is a P.7 pupil at Sir Apolo Kaggwa Primary School.  

 

For the last seven years, Luwalira has been waking up early in the morning to take his youngest daughter to school. He says many parents desire to groom their children into disciplined, loving and God-fearing person, but they do not want to pay the price involved in raising them.

 

“God gives us children and endows them with distinctive gifts, which can only be recognised by observing their different traits and behaviour. From an early age, we try to identify the strengths and weaknesses of our children so that we can know where to put our emphasis in helping them,” he says

 

As their children grew, it became apparent that they were all gifted in singing. For quite some time, they have been ministering in the 7:00am choir at Namirembe Cathedral every Sunday. The second-born is the choir master.

“Despite our busy schedule in the ministry, we made time for our children, ensuring that we were always home at meal time. Also, from an early age, we instilled in them the value of faith.  We ensured that our children got to know Christ. We often prayed together to strengthen our faith.

 

“We have remained friends with our children and they often consult us on various issues. We try to talk to them about premarital sex, no matter how hard that might be. Parents should always give time to their children in order to build their self-esteem. 

 

“My family is the first ministry God gave me, and because of that, I have to be the best husband and father.”

 

Faith Nakitende says her husband is everything she ever wanted in a man. He is soft-spoken, caring, loving and lives according to the virtues of his Christian calling.

 

“Although we started in a humble way, God has blessed us beyond our expectation, because we have remained true to each other. Many marriages have crumbled due to having a materialistic motive,” she says.

“When God blesses the couple, they end up worshiping and idolising the things God has given them and in the process, they lose focus of the one who blesses them,” she says.

 

“My husband consults me on any undertaking, whether big or small,” she adds.

“When couples make a decision, there is no room for blame, in case something goes wrong,” she reasons.

Faith says as a girl, she vowed to maintain her sexual purity until marriage. Although the temptations were there, she knew what she wanted. 

 

“I think it was my Christian heritage that helped me remain a virgin. I was raised by religious parents and their influence is still evident in my life today,” she declares.

 

She observes that their being involved in the church has helped them to have positive influence on their children’s upbringig.

 

“As parents, we have tried to encourage the children to fear the Lord. Raising teenagers is not easy, so when they turn out to be good children, we give all the thanks to God,” Faith explains. 

 

Fortunately, almost all their children have identified their calling of singing for the Lord, which has ensured that they remain disciplined.

 

 She, however, believes that every mistake in marriage can be corrected. “I advise couples with ailing relationships to desist from holding on to weaknesses, as it directly affects the progress of any relationship”. Quoting 1Corithians 13:5, she says:  “Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered and it keeps no records of wrong.”