Is he the reason you dread sex?
Aug 06, 2012
Oh men! You are interesting creatures and we love you to bits, but do you know why we stay awake to watch Mexican soaps, yet it is bed time, and jump into the bed when you are dead asleep?
By Carol Kasujja
Oh men! You are interesting creatures and we love you to bits, but do you know why we stay awake to watch Mexican soaps, yet it is bed time, and jump into the bed when you are dead asleep? Sex is meant to be enjoyable. And most of us try to enjoy the pleasure of having sex. However, there are things men do that can really kill your sex drive. Below are some of them.
Bad breath
No matter how much you love someone, bad breath is not a good thing. Some people have a collection of rotting teeth, so you can imagine the stench coming from that mouth, yet they also want to be kissed. No one wants to kiss someone whose mouth smells like a dead rat.
While your partner is likely to be forgiving when it comes to your various deficiencies, bad breath is something that can be difficult to overlook, especially over a period of years. It is common with people who smoke and can be a passion-killer. Men who smoke should brush their teeth daily and chew gum to disguise the smell.
Body odour
Telling someone that they smell is almost as hard as killing them, because most of them are unaware that they smell. Some men smell like he-goats, that whenever you see them coming towards you, you want to turn the other way. Most of them are not bothered about their scent.
You do not have to smell like a flower to attract her, but a bad smell can affect her sex life. What is wrong with buying a cheap deodorant, perfume or spray? You can buy all that, but showering everyday will help.
Failing to shave
Shaving your pubic hair does not hurt your body. The same with armpits. The good thing is it is done once or twice a month. It is a turn off to see a man with brownish armpit hair and a forest of pubic hair. You look like a person who does not look after himself. If it is hard to shave, use wax. When you have short or trimmed pubic hair, you also gain confidence to undress before her and allow yourself to have good intercourse.
Alcoholism
This does not only affect the person drinking it, but also the people around him. There is nothing annoying like preparing for an intimate moment and when your man comes back, he can barely walk and before you know it, he starts demanding sex. As the sober person, it is hard to get the desire to engage in any sexual activity with such a man. Heavy drinking comes with many ills, including bad breathe and a decline in sexual performance.
Ignoring foreplay
It becomes boring when a man just jumps in bed and goes for it straight away without checking whether you are ready for him. You appear disinterested in your partner’s interest and this can make her feel like you do not find her sexy. Take your time and make her ready. Otherwise, she will start avoiding you since she thinks you are a selfish man who never cares about your partner’s enjoyment.
Dirty underwear
Some men wear the same underwear for a week without washing them. By wearing dirty underwear, one puts one’s sexual health at risk of getting infections.
Quarreling/Fighting
Relationships are not perfect. Every once in a while, couples quarrel over some serious or not so serious matter. You have a bad day at work and you are stressed out and she/he starts to annoy you, then you start a fight. Quarrelling is the chief cause of the loss of sexual desire. If your wife annoys you, try to resolve your dispute as soon as you can. Sometimes prolonged anger affects your daily activities and output, especially if you are living together.
Respect your partner’s needs, says counsellor
Annet Kirabira, a counsellor with Rahab Uganda, says men should understand and respect the needs of their partners. They should learn the love language to keep up the relationship. “Women need to be pampered. Send her nice messages during the day and help her at home so that by the time you make love to her, she does not feel like a sex object.
Kirabira adds: “Be nice and open to each other. Make it a point to shower, brush your teeth daily, buy new underwear and take care of your partner as well.
Initiate sex
How often do you initiate sex? Irrespective of your personality traits; be it reserved or just lazy, do not expect your partner to always make the first move.
Women mostly expect their men to initiate sex, but making the first move once in a while, will show your love and also interest in keeping your sex life alive. It will give him the message that he is desirable