Could friends be the cause of your endless career hiccups?

By Brenda Asiimwe

Tom had always dreamt of becoming a top IT expert. He could envision himself as a CEO of the biggest and trendiest IT firm in Uganda, just like Bill Gates his role model.

Therefore, throughout his childhood and school days, tom was always ‘playing around’ with computers, trying to fix this or that and creating new software and programmes.

In fact, his friends nicknamed him BG (for Bill Gates) because of his knack for finding IT solutions for different companies around town even before he joined university. Because he was seen as a genius, everyone knew Tom would become the next big thing in IT innovation.

But as it is said; it is only time that can tell. So as Tom’s dream was taking shape, he joined a group known for its lavish lifestyles and their love for fast good cars, having multiple ladies and involving in drinking sprees.

Tom’s vision was blurred…he never paused to ask questions. “This kind of lifestyle can make my life even more interesting,” he tried to convince himself as got sucked into the group’s activities with wanton abandon.

As time went by, he was no longer the much sought-after IT wizard at Jeddah Incorporated, the biggest IT Company in town. He was forced to get bank loans to maintain the outlandish lifestyle he had adopted.

This alarmed his parents and friends, who could not understand how a respected IT guru could degenerate into an unfocused drunkard and womanizer.

But as an old adage says; “tell me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. The friends we choose determine whether we succeed or become failures.

Philip Kambe, a career coach at Intelligent Performance, says for one to succeed in their career, they need to get a mastermind group of two to three people to help them navigate through.

The candidates for the mastermind group could be chosen from your role models and people who have excelled in fields related to your area of interest. These people should believe in you and are able to hold you accountable to your goals.

“They should be better than you at something to complement your weak points, helping you to polish them,” he explains.

He notes that for intimate relationships, it is advisable to find a partner that consistently and persistently supports and makes you better for the career path you are taking. “Many successful men have supportive women behind them as evidenced today. This means that a partner plays a pivotal role towards one’s career success or failure,” Kambe notes.

He adds that when forming career networks, it is crucial to first define the kind of networks you want and how you would gain from them. “If you have a clearly-defined career path, the networks will point you to places that will enhance your career.”

Kambe notes that when you have good relations and career networks, it is important to support others without expecting any returns. “This will make it easy for you to build and maintain the relationships that will help you create the successful life and career you want and deserve,” he advises.

He adds that most times our families do not help us grow our careers because they do not understand what we want.

“Family is important because it determines whether we succeed or fail in our careers. But you need to share and define what you want for them to give the necessary support for you to achieve your dream,” Kambe asserts.

Charles Ocici, the Enterprise Uganda executive director, argues that anyone you interact with regularly influences your attitude towards career, life, how you utilise your resources and your beliefs.

He notes that it is difficult to restrict ideas, actions and lifestyles from friends “because we spend most of our time with them.”

“If you are keen on career success and, yet you hang around people who do not share this sentiment, there are less chances that you will achieve your goal. You can also change them to what you want them to be, but is not easy,” argues Ocici.

Ocici points out that one can discover people who are good company from their speech.

“They take charge of situations and are responsible, while wrong company attribute all the bad circumstances in their lives to external forces and wait for external solutions,” he says.

He notes that it is even harder when you are married to a person who is full of negative energy, saying that one has to work hard to change their partner’s attitude. “If you fail, try to develop another relationship that will always counteract the negativity at home,” he explains.

Ocici says for relationships to work, they have to be mutual but not one party feeding from the other and “wearing them out without giving anything back.”
He emphasizes that successful people are confident and good at building strong and mutually beneficial relationships.

So, who have been hanging out with lately?