Her dad rejected me for being a catechist

husband to respect Ruth’s choice of Livingstone for a husband. 

 

Read on for more about their love story

 

 

There were challenges before we got married. Ruth’s father rejected me because I was a catechist and therefore I was not the suitable candidate to marry his daughter. During those days, catechists were taken as poor people. The belief was borrowed from the English saying, “As poor as a church mouse”. 

 

However, Ruth’s mother saved the situation. She loved me so much and convinced my father-in-law to soften his stance. 

Fully convinced, he gave his daughter’s hand in marriage. 

 

Within two years of our marriage, God blessed us with our first son. We named him Isaac Mwesigwa, meaning God is faithful. God blessed us with four more children and many adopted ones.

 

My husband’s earnings were not much, but with God’s providence, we persevered. A few years into our marriage, my husband joined ordination training for close to five years. It was a challenge since I was just a house wife with no income. When my father-in-law saw the dilemma we were in, he took us on until Livingstone finished his course.

 

Tackling challenges

Livingstone

I think our marriage was predestined by God. Ruth was brought up in a religious family of high virtues. I was not any different. When we got married, we made God a central figure in our marriage. 

 

With the help of the word of God, we learnt to handle our small misunderstandings and our love grew stronger. We have enjoyed each other’s company in the marriage and always strive to keep the love burning.  

 

My husband comes from a strong religious background which dealt with the cultural ego of a Muganda man. Because of his religious affiliation that called for monogamy, he loved me unconditionally. Because of his conduct, I found it very easy to love back. 

 

 

 

My wife is the home-maker, responsible for the well-being of our family, she draws the money from our joint account and takes care of the needs of our family, with my support.

 

A home is built by a woman’s wisdom. One of the challenges in marriage is that men do not want to trust their wives with their finances, which forces their wives to look for alternative ways. But for us, everything we have is ours.

 

I was lucky that my husband entrusted me with the affairs of the family. It gave me a sense of belonging. Whatever I did, it was done with one heart because I was in charge. My husband has always provided for the family. I have always withdrawn money from our joint account without restriction and this has made me to be more responsible. 

 

I have heard many stories of wives complaining about their husbands, how they are restrictive on their marital roles, which in the end makes them strangers in own homes. So, I would advise husbands to trust their spouses with home affairs.

 

 

Love and trust have been our wining formulae. We have always kept the flavour in our marriage.  For instance, we call ourselves pet names such as love, daddy and mummy.

 

One of the problems in marriages today is that people change so fast and forget so easily. Many people tend not to live by their marriage. Most of them are more interested in the wedding than the marriage.

 

 

 

After the fall of Idi Amin’s regime, my wife took up children who were orphaned during Amin’s reign of terror. However, we had no idea that God was starting orphanage ministries in our lives. We started off with Nkoyoyo Opharnage Home in Baale, Kayunga district.

 

The orphanage kicked off with 70 children. Soon after, we teamed up with the Brotherhood of St. Andrew from America to open more orphanages. Although some strayed, many have grown into responsible citizens. Whenever my wife and I go to the US, we stay with some of the pioneer children in the orphanage.

 

Ruth 

It was not easy at the beginning to take on “other” children. Some times, I felt the task was too much. however, with the help of God, I was able to take care of the children in our orphanage. 

 

I befriended the children so that they could open up to me in case they had anything they wanted to discuss with me. 

Still, some misbehaved and ran away from the orphanage.

 

 

 

From the onset of our marriage, I decided to protect my newly-wedded wife from unnecessary external family interferences, especially from our in-laws   for over five years.  During that time, we closed the doors of staying with our respective siblings and in-laws.

 

We wanted to build a strong foundation before we let others into our lives. It worked because during that time, my wife and I got closer and perhaps that is one of the reasons why we have been able to stay in it for this long.

 

Relatives and in-laws are the most viable tools the devil uses to engineer strife and misunderstandings in marriage. Therefore, I would advise newly-wedded couples to first cement their marriages before letting others in.

 

The bible cautions us against despising the days of our humble beginnings. When I look back at how we started, I have so much joy and have a lot to thank the lord for. 

 

I got married to a church catechist, who, according to my father, was not worth becoming my husband. However, I delighted in being addressed Mukyala Mubulizi (catechist’s wife). With time, my titles kept changing as my husband climbed the clerical ladder. 

 

His election as the Archbishop of the Church of Uganda in 1994 was so humbling.

 

 

 

They year, 1959, was a turning point for me after accepting Christ into my life. I could not imagine the influence it had on my life. I developed a strong desire to settle down for marriage. In 1963, I met Ruth. While her beauty was obvious, I was more observant with the way she gently conducted herself. A close friend, who I highly respected, commented of her:

 

“Ruth can make a good wife for you”. Little did I know that love feelings were already set in motion. In 1964, I proposed to her when she had just completed Senior Two. On May 1, 1964, Bishop Festo Lutaya joined us in holy matrimony.

 

My early meeting with Livingstone was a result of my elder sister, Kezia, who married his elder brother, Zadoch. Quite often, he visited his brother’s home and it was then that we spotted each other.

 

His Christian character and family background charmed me. So, we started as casual friends and before we knew it, we were husband and wife. 

 

I believe God created Ruth in a special way to be my companion in life and ministry.  I believe she is the wife mentioned in Proverbs 31:1O “A prudent wife, who can find her, she is more precious than precious stones”. My wife has kept the family going during good and tough times. 

 

In early 1980s, when we started taking orphans into our home, she took them over as her own. 

 

Ruth 

My husband respects my feelings and views.  Although he is the head in the family, he would never impose anything which I am not comfortable with. Can you imagine, after all this long, he still calls me ‘my beloved wife’, ‘love’.

 

It always hurts me when I see husbands belittling and abusing their wives. My husband has used more of a fatherly counsel to our children without using verbal and strict tough measures and it has worked well. 

 

Nowadays many parents resort to using tough disciplinary measures and in the end it affetcs the relationship with their children.

 

At 74, life is just beginning for me as I strive to better the lives of others through job creation. My wife and I always eat a balanced diet and I do a lot of walking to keep physically fit. For instance, I walk for over two miles everyday before I retire to our home and that has kept me really strong and fit.