When May taught the man-snatching Delilah a lesson

By Ilonka Naziwa

I have this friend who is among the most well adjusted people I know.  Let’s call her May. By well adjusted, I mean May handles her life with as minimum drama as possible. 

She does not  keep grudges, nor  does she expect  any to be kept against her.  You may keep the grudge if you please,  however,  that will not  stop  her  from calmly declaring her  opinion  should you misstep her.  May is also very humorous and lucky for she never leaves her humour behind. 

Yes, I must say May is the proverbial “what you see is what you get” girl.

May told me a story recently that had me reeling with laughter.  For some strange reason, we happened to be in the down town area of Kampala, in the mini post era of the traders’ strike.  After our errands, we had a penchant for some good, old, oily take-away chips. 

As we perched ourselves on stools in this small take away restaurant,  we chatted animatedly about our pasts.  We happened to start taking about a certain pretty young lady we had both known back in the day, we can call her Delilah.

Not only was Delilah sweet and beautiful, she was also known for having a high proclivity for men, specifically those belonging to her friends and relatives.  Indeed, despite this well-known secret, May and Delilah were good friends back in the day and often they had double dates.

Actually, Delilah had known May’s boyfriend longer and naturally May had an unsuspicious and healthy respect for their friendship.  Well, until the day that she happened to arrive at her boyfriend’s flat with Delilah in tow.  As was customary with her beau, May greeted him with an affectionate peck and a term of endearment. 

Thereafter, she proceeded to take her hand bag to the room. She must have returned sooner than Delilah expected because as she approached the living room where she had left them, she witnessed Delilah throwing her arms around him and trying to steal a passionate ‘lock of lips’. 

To his credit, a visibly disturbed May’s beau gently shoved her aside.  May just recalls seeing red as she stepped forward and handed Delilah a slap across the cheek before motioning her to a bedroom to talk.  It is in this bedroom that May laid down some ground rules. 

Delilah was in shock, but more than that she was apologetic, and yes, she has never again crossed the line with May. Coincidentally, the friendship between them continued, of course with more caution on both sides, but none the less, it was an amicable friendship. 

You must be wondering  what happened with May’s beau;  well after he recovered from the unexpected  and uncharacteristic  show of territorialism by his girlfriend,  and after  May had  explained the whole history behind Delilah, he  broke off all ties with  her. However, the ties between him and May were further harnessed, because currently, they are contently married with five (beautiful) girls. 

Now you may ask why this story had me reeling with laughter.  Firstly, I must explain that my laughter was originating from the pleasant surprise of May’s unexpected actions.  I refer to the quote below:

When the world begets too many fools, nature provides a Foolkiller (Author unknown)

I guess I view May as the ‘Foolkiller’.  I strongly believe every once in a while we need them.   Who knows?   May’s unapologetic actions could have saved another from Delilah’s diehard folly, hoping of course that Delilah learnt a lesson that day. No doubt, May is praying hard that her daughters are ‘Foolkillers’ too!