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Remove the log in your eye before you remove the speck in hers

By Vision Reporter

Added 20th January 2010 03:00 AM

Last year, we sat back and enjoyed humanity messing itself in love to various points which were not limited to death and child sacrifice.

Last year, we sat back and enjoyed humanity messing itself in love to various points which were not limited to death and child sacrifice.

By Hillary Bainemigisha
Last year, we sat back and enjoyed humanity messing itself in love to various points which were not limited to death and child sacrifice. We crossed into the New Year fearing that no other drama would supersede that. But while we were resigning and retiring to watch Africa Cup of Nations in Angola, the intimate stage opened its curtains again.

In the first scene, a 45-year-old woman, Namatovu Kalala, from Nanziga, Wakiso district, lost the twins she had delivered at Mulago Hospital. As the new ‘Ssalongo’ organised a funeral and village mourning progressed, it was discovered that the dead twins had actually transformed into lifeless dolls. The bereaved ‘Nnalongo’ first blamed the hospital for exchanging her dead twins with two dolls but when she was checked, it was discovered that she last gave birth on the day Uganda got independence.

A few days later, a 29-year-old woman from Gomba, Mpigi district, also delivered home a dead child. But her husband could not remember when he last impregnated his wife. So he asked Police to check it out. Maria Goretti Nantongo was taken to Mulago where doctors discovered that her uterus had never hosted a foetus.

Is it the Christmas excitement of virgin birth?
This is as bad as it is entertaining. And if the Police keep on wasting time looking for Women For Peace in Kiggundu’s offices, we are likely to see more virgin births invading our premises. Forget those which have passed unnoticed.

No! Don’t exhume anyone and stop witchhunting women; first look at your role in this. Take Namatovu’s husband for instance. How can a wife get pregnant, carry it for nine months, deliver in hospital, all behind your back? And your only role is to organise a funeral when she calls you from hospital that the twins have died?

Yes, these women are scarlet red in blame and sin, but so are their husbands. Women who know that husbands will not take part in their pregnancies, attend with them antenatal clinics, escort them to delivery wards and if possible into the labour ward, will always find it easy to play games. Educated or not, all hearts need the same quality of love and care; it is not a class thing. All husbands must take part in the family pregnancy.

Those who are not willing to, should not marry. And if they do, should not complain when they keep burying dolls. Marriage is a merging of two entities. It is not a place for selfish hearts that prefer solitary expeditions.

It starts with love. If you don’t check on your partner for days on end; no call, no letter, no contact..., why should you complain that they took advantage of your absence to cheat on you? In modern love, there is no absence. When physical absence is dictated by social demands, then virtual presence should take over in communication, sharing experiences and keeping active in each other’s love.

Those who break the trend in pursuit of freedom and privacy risk the fleeting excitement of receiving a call anointing them Ssalongo, the embarrassment of proceeding to gather a whole village for a funeral and the humiliation of ending up with air as dolls crush in to scatter your new found title and village sympathy.

People err and it hurts more in relationships. But as you go along spitting fire over their inconsiderate actions, look for your role in the saga. If you are a partner, where were you as Beloved turned off the right path? That will help you understand that in most loves, mistakes have a strong root to either of the players.

So, perfect your game and you will be making it easier for your partner to love and support you too.

Remove the log in your eye before you remove the speck in hers

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