Why guys spend their money on girls
Mar 12, 2010
IT is said that money makes the world go round and that saying rings a bell for men trying to impress women. “When you want to know whether a man is frugal or a miser, watch how he spends on a woman he is attracted to. If he doesn’t let go of his cash, you can declare him a miser,†says Geoffr
By Michael Kanaabi
IT is said that money makes the world go round and that saying rings a bell for men trying to impress women. “When you want to know whether a man is frugal or a miser, watch how he spends on a woman he is attracted to. If he doesn’t let go of his cash, you can declare him a miser,†says Geoffrey Mugabi, a businessman.
Spending money on a woman is not the issue at hand, but rather why and how much men should spend on women.
WHY MEN SPEND ON WOMEN
Most men spend on ladies to impress them and ward off competition from other men.
Research by psychologist Prof. Daniel Kruger of Michigan University linked the high spending habits of men with how many women they sleep with. He discovered that men who spend a lot of money on women are three times more likely to woo them than men who spend cautiously.
Bring in the once famous say no to ‘cross-generation sex’ campaign and the point is driven home. The men really drop the dimes not because they just love to drop them but because they expect something in return.
They in most cases expect sex or a relationship of some sort and in cases where it does not materialise, they get bitter and sometimes commit outrageous acts like murder.
“In most cases guys spend on women without declaring their intentions, so the women take advantage of this and ask for outrageous things which the men go out of their way to provide. The men expect ‘fringe benefits’ while the ladies are playing the just close friends card,†says Lorna, a campus girl.
The problem comes when the man starts demanding for sex, which was not agreed upon in the first place because he allegedly put in money and now wants ‘returns’, she added.
Some men spend on women to trap them and think they have cornered them into becoming their own. Johnson used to believe this philosophy, but has since changed.
He said: “I met a girl while at the beach with friends. She said she was on campus and over time, convinced me to pay her tuition.
“I thought I had earned a ticket to her heart until she told me she was dating somebody else and my help was supposed to be as a friend. It is from that painful experience that I started thinking otherwise.â€
Taking out a woman on a date and spending lots of money on them does not give you the right to demand anything. In case things go bad between you and your date, it is pretty embarrassing to make the money you spent on that person an issue and demand a refund, although it is common practice among many men.
There are cases of where a man goes after a lady and she turns him down, then he decides to throw money at her in a desperate bid to please her.
Lorna, who has had such an experience a couple of times says: “If the lady is the no nonsense type, she will throw you out with your money, but if she has a soft spot for the money, she will pretend to soften and enjoy the money as long as the conditions are bearable.
“Ironically, when some men see this they increase the money they spend on the woman.
Unfortunately, the day you get serious and ask for ‘what belongs to them’ she will take to her heels real fast.â€
SO HOW MUCH SHOULD YOU ACTUALLY SPEND ON A LADY?
With many men giving cars, houses, expensive electronics, furnishings and all sorts of gifts to the women, the line has to be drawn somewhere.
Tom Sekyewa, a pastor at a church in Kasubi, believes the line should be based on the level of intimacy. “If you have just started dating, minimise the spending and spend more time understanding her.
As the relationship grows you can spend a little more money, especially on activities like outings that bring the two of you closer. The cars, houses and other expensive gifts should be given in marriage, since you would then be the ‘one’.â€
However, this does not stop you from helping when there is a great financial need or lavishing your partner with expensive gifts, as long it is within your means and the terms are defined, he added.
Rita Namara, a lady in her forties, advises men to set standards they can maintain. “Most men spend beyond their means when they have just met a lady and reduce the spending as the relationship progresses. This hurts the ladies who keep demanding for what they were used to, complicating the relationship,†she said.
In that case, she can choose to stay or move on if she thinks you are not worth her time.
Women are not just swayed by money, but they look out for other things like character, which are important aspects in deciding whether to stay with you or not, Namara concluded. Â
IT is said that money makes the world go round and that saying rings a bell for men trying to impress women. “When you want to know whether a man is frugal or a miser, watch how he spends on a woman he is attracted to. If he doesn’t let go of his cash, you can declare him a miser,†says Geoffrey Mugabi, a businessman.
Spending money on a woman is not the issue at hand, but rather why and how much men should spend on women.
WHY MEN SPEND ON WOMEN
Most men spend on ladies to impress them and ward off competition from other men.
Research by psychologist Prof. Daniel Kruger of Michigan University linked the high spending habits of men with how many women they sleep with. He discovered that men who spend a lot of money on women are three times more likely to woo them than men who spend cautiously.
Bring in the once famous say no to ‘cross-generation sex’ campaign and the point is driven home. The men really drop the dimes not because they just love to drop them but because they expect something in return.
They in most cases expect sex or a relationship of some sort and in cases where it does not materialise, they get bitter and sometimes commit outrageous acts like murder.
“In most cases guys spend on women without declaring their intentions, so the women take advantage of this and ask for outrageous things which the men go out of their way to provide. The men expect ‘fringe benefits’ while the ladies are playing the just close friends card,†says Lorna, a campus girl.
The problem comes when the man starts demanding for sex, which was not agreed upon in the first place because he allegedly put in money and now wants ‘returns’, she added.
Some men spend on women to trap them and think they have cornered them into becoming their own. Johnson used to believe this philosophy, but has since changed.
He said: “I met a girl while at the beach with friends. She said she was on campus and over time, convinced me to pay her tuition.
“I thought I had earned a ticket to her heart until she told me she was dating somebody else and my help was supposed to be as a friend. It is from that painful experience that I started thinking otherwise.â€
Taking out a woman on a date and spending lots of money on them does not give you the right to demand anything. In case things go bad between you and your date, it is pretty embarrassing to make the money you spent on that person an issue and demand a refund, although it is common practice among many men.
There are cases of where a man goes after a lady and she turns him down, then he decides to throw money at her in a desperate bid to please her.
Lorna, who has had such an experience a couple of times says: “If the lady is the no nonsense type, she will throw you out with your money, but if she has a soft spot for the money, she will pretend to soften and enjoy the money as long as the conditions are bearable.
“Ironically, when some men see this they increase the money they spend on the woman.
Unfortunately, the day you get serious and ask for ‘what belongs to them’ she will take to her heels real fast.â€
SO HOW MUCH SHOULD YOU ACTUALLY SPEND ON A LADY?
With many men giving cars, houses, expensive electronics, furnishings and all sorts of gifts to the women, the line has to be drawn somewhere.
Tom Sekyewa, a pastor at a church in Kasubi, believes the line should be based on the level of intimacy. “If you have just started dating, minimise the spending and spend more time understanding her.
As the relationship grows you can spend a little more money, especially on activities like outings that bring the two of you closer. The cars, houses and other expensive gifts should be given in marriage, since you would then be the ‘one’.â€
However, this does not stop you from helping when there is a great financial need or lavishing your partner with expensive gifts, as long it is within your means and the terms are defined, he added.
Rita Namara, a lady in her forties, advises men to set standards they can maintain. “Most men spend beyond their means when they have just met a lady and reduce the spending as the relationship progresses. This hurts the ladies who keep demanding for what they were used to, complicating the relationship,†she said.
In that case, she can choose to stay or move on if she thinks you are not worth her time.
Women are not just swayed by money, but they look out for other things like character, which are important aspects in deciding whether to stay with you or not, Namara concluded. Â