Groom an honest child
Mar 16, 2010
I still recall the silence and fear that gripped us as the teacher told us a story of a boy who lost the trust of the people after crying wolf so many times yet there was no wolf. “One day, the wolf finally came and no one came to rescue the boy. He was eaten by the wolf,†she ended.
By Doreen Murungi
I still recall the silence and fear that gripped us as the teacher told us a story of a boy who lost the trust of the people after crying wolf so many times yet there was no wolf. “One day, the wolf finally came and no one came to rescue the boy. He was eaten by the wolf,†she ended.
She then asked us what we had learnt from the story and emphasised the importance of honesty. Some children, for fear of being eaten by the wolf, never told lies again.
The Oxford dictionary defines honesty as truthfulness and sincerity, that which is free from deceit. Honesty includes both verbal and non-verbal communication.
Teaching your child the value of honesty is not simple. It requires tact, patience and love. Parents want their children to be honest in everything, but how does one instil the value of honesty?
How to instil honesty
Parents need to be their children’s first teacher. ‘Parent’ in Hebrew means “horah†which means guide or instructor. Amidst their tight schedule, parents need to make time to instil values and character in their children.
Prossy Asiimwe, a mother of two, says: “Sometimes I give my children more money than they ask for to see if they will alert me. Many times they do not and I use the opportunity to explain to them the value of honesty.â€
She advises parents to take honesty seriously because it is harder to correct children if they are already telling lies. Children who have seen someone receive the wrath for telling the truth, are likely to tell lies.
Grace Kusiima, a day care teacher and mother says dishonesty has to be tackled in a subtle manner. “When a child is honest, appreciate them. If they are dishonest, do not disgrace them, tactfully convey your dissatisfaction.â€
Counsellors say if you treat your second child in the exact manner as your first one and expect the same results, you will be disappointed.
Pius Muhairwe, a single parent of five notes: “Some children will not repeat a mistake after explanation, some need a warning while others require a punishment.â€
He says parents ought to let their children know that much as dishonesty hurts them and others, it also erodes trust between the two parties.
“Tell the child how the mistrust may compel you to stop them from indulging in certain activities. For instance if there is a party and you do not trust that the child will return at an agreed time, you may not let them go,†Muhairwe adds.
Lead by example
Remember, the story of the child who was told by his father to tell the landlord that he was not around yet he was hiding in the bedroom? The innocent child told the landlord, “he has said he is not around.â€
Jane Nalubega, a psychologist, says:“Children model their parents’ behaviour.†So beware of your actions. Some can be an indirect way of teaching your child dishonesty.
Never give your child a reason to mistrust you. If you make a promise, keep it. In case something urgent comes up and you are unable to fulfil your promise, explain to the child.
Joanne’s grandmother intentionally leaves money in the pockets of clothes to be washed. When the old woman asks Joanne about the money, she denies having seen it. However, her grandmother usually asks: “How would you feel if someone else lied to you?â€
Parents should therefore help children understand that they have the power to keep others from feeling betrayed. If you give up on children and they become liars, they will not only lie to you but to everyone else. They will think the only way out of a problem is lying.
Teaching your child the value of honesty takes consistency and dedication. Model honesty for them and they will understand its importance and what society expects of them.
I still recall the silence and fear that gripped us as the teacher told us a story of a boy who lost the trust of the people after crying wolf so many times yet there was no wolf. “One day, the wolf finally came and no one came to rescue the boy. He was eaten by the wolf,†she ended.
She then asked us what we had learnt from the story and emphasised the importance of honesty. Some children, for fear of being eaten by the wolf, never told lies again.
The Oxford dictionary defines honesty as truthfulness and sincerity, that which is free from deceit. Honesty includes both verbal and non-verbal communication.
Teaching your child the value of honesty is not simple. It requires tact, patience and love. Parents want their children to be honest in everything, but how does one instil the value of honesty?
How to instil honesty
Parents need to be their children’s first teacher. ‘Parent’ in Hebrew means “horah†which means guide or instructor. Amidst their tight schedule, parents need to make time to instil values and character in their children.
Prossy Asiimwe, a mother of two, says: “Sometimes I give my children more money than they ask for to see if they will alert me. Many times they do not and I use the opportunity to explain to them the value of honesty.â€
She advises parents to take honesty seriously because it is harder to correct children if they are already telling lies. Children who have seen someone receive the wrath for telling the truth, are likely to tell lies.
Grace Kusiima, a day care teacher and mother says dishonesty has to be tackled in a subtle manner. “When a child is honest, appreciate them. If they are dishonest, do not disgrace them, tactfully convey your dissatisfaction.â€
Counsellors say if you treat your second child in the exact manner as your first one and expect the same results, you will be disappointed.
Pius Muhairwe, a single parent of five notes: “Some children will not repeat a mistake after explanation, some need a warning while others require a punishment.â€
He says parents ought to let their children know that much as dishonesty hurts them and others, it also erodes trust between the two parties.
“Tell the child how the mistrust may compel you to stop them from indulging in certain activities. For instance if there is a party and you do not trust that the child will return at an agreed time, you may not let them go,†Muhairwe adds.
Lead by example
Remember, the story of the child who was told by his father to tell the landlord that he was not around yet he was hiding in the bedroom? The innocent child told the landlord, “he has said he is not around.â€
Jane Nalubega, a psychologist, says:“Children model their parents’ behaviour.†So beware of your actions. Some can be an indirect way of teaching your child dishonesty.
Never give your child a reason to mistrust you. If you make a promise, keep it. In case something urgent comes up and you are unable to fulfil your promise, explain to the child.
Joanne’s grandmother intentionally leaves money in the pockets of clothes to be washed. When the old woman asks Joanne about the money, she denies having seen it. However, her grandmother usually asks: “How would you feel if someone else lied to you?â€
Parents should therefore help children understand that they have the power to keep others from feeling betrayed. If you give up on children and they become liars, they will not only lie to you but to everyone else. They will think the only way out of a problem is lying.
Teaching your child the value of honesty takes consistency and dedication. Model honesty for them and they will understand its importance and what society expects of them.