Marriage going sour? Rekindle your romance
Apr 02, 2010
WHY are marriages falling apart? Why are they becoming death traps? These were some of the questions Rev. Sam Luboga in his Marriage Support Services seminar sought to answer.
BY HALIMA SHABAN
WHY are marriages falling apart? Why are they becoming death traps? These were some of the questions Rev. Sam Luboga in his Marriage Support Services seminar sought to answer.
The first seminar, themed sexual intimacy in marriage was held at Hotel Africana, last week, and about 60 couples attended. Intimacy, according to Sam, is the closeness one shares with their spouse; emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and sexually. It helps prevent infidelity and to enrich marriages and repair broken ones.
“Intimacy is a journey that lasts throughout marriage. It does not start with a press of a button; it’s a life consuming process,†he says. During the seminar Sam and his wife, Christine, covered a number of issues on intimacy. The couple, who have been married for over 35 years, also shared their experience.
Christine said love, marriage, and sex are the three building blocks of sexual intimacy. “Intimacy is nurtured through trust, tenderness, acceptance, communication, apologies, forgiveness and respecting boundaries. Couples can work together to increase their intimacy in each area as they build their marriage through the years.â€
Married people do not have control over their bodies, she added, but rather it is their spouses that do. Based on this, she explained that husbands and wives have equal responsibility before the Lord to fulfil the sexual needs and desires of their spouse. God gave the gift of sex in marriage for the pleasure of each partner equally.
Sam lamented that our society does not teach intimacy. “What our society calls sexuality is shallow,†he says. “A man believes he is a good lover when he gives his wife an orgasm. And men expect their wives to please them!â€Â
According to Sam, many men are clumsy and women, inarticulate, making it difficult to call many couples’ sexual interaction intimacy.
He says most men do not think about pleasing their wives just for the sake of pleasing them. And most women try to please their husbands just so they can be done with it. “Perhaps the most general exception is when the couple has a glass of wine, and imagines they have the intimacy they desire. Isn’t that sad?â€
Luboga says instead of enjoying intimacy through a true connection, couples pretend they are being fulfilled. Many do not even want to see each other with their clothes off.
Christine says marriage provides the perfect platform to discover each other from the tips of the toes to the depths of their souls. With the right guidance, a husband and wife’s intimate moments can be absolutely amazing while providing gratification for the heart.
During the same seminar, Steven Langa, a counsellor at Family Life Network and his wife, Beatrice, shared how they have managed to stay in marriage for 25 years.
“Intimacy does not begin or end in the bedroom. Don’t give up on your pursuit of the perfect marital relationship, complete with intimacy. It is something you can have,†they said.
WHY are marriages falling apart? Why are they becoming death traps? These were some of the questions Rev. Sam Luboga in his Marriage Support Services seminar sought to answer.
The first seminar, themed sexual intimacy in marriage was held at Hotel Africana, last week, and about 60 couples attended. Intimacy, according to Sam, is the closeness one shares with their spouse; emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and sexually. It helps prevent infidelity and to enrich marriages and repair broken ones.
“Intimacy is a journey that lasts throughout marriage. It does not start with a press of a button; it’s a life consuming process,†he says. During the seminar Sam and his wife, Christine, covered a number of issues on intimacy. The couple, who have been married for over 35 years, also shared their experience.
Christine said love, marriage, and sex are the three building blocks of sexual intimacy. “Intimacy is nurtured through trust, tenderness, acceptance, communication, apologies, forgiveness and respecting boundaries. Couples can work together to increase their intimacy in each area as they build their marriage through the years.â€
Married people do not have control over their bodies, she added, but rather it is their spouses that do. Based on this, she explained that husbands and wives have equal responsibility before the Lord to fulfil the sexual needs and desires of their spouse. God gave the gift of sex in marriage for the pleasure of each partner equally.
Sam lamented that our society does not teach intimacy. “What our society calls sexuality is shallow,†he says. “A man believes he is a good lover when he gives his wife an orgasm. And men expect their wives to please them!â€Â
According to Sam, many men are clumsy and women, inarticulate, making it difficult to call many couples’ sexual interaction intimacy.
He says most men do not think about pleasing their wives just for the sake of pleasing them. And most women try to please their husbands just so they can be done with it. “Perhaps the most general exception is when the couple has a glass of wine, and imagines they have the intimacy they desire. Isn’t that sad?â€
Luboga says instead of enjoying intimacy through a true connection, couples pretend they are being fulfilled. Many do not even want to see each other with their clothes off.
Christine says marriage provides the perfect platform to discover each other from the tips of the toes to the depths of their souls. With the right guidance, a husband and wife’s intimate moments can be absolutely amazing while providing gratification for the heart.
During the same seminar, Steven Langa, a counsellor at Family Life Network and his wife, Beatrice, shared how they have managed to stay in marriage for 25 years.
“Intimacy does not begin or end in the bedroom. Don’t give up on your pursuit of the perfect marital relationship, complete with intimacy. It is something you can have,†they said.