Does polygamy come naturally to men?
Apr 23, 2010
MAN is a social animal, who overtime developed a code of conduct that distinguished him from other animals. This social code of conduct has, among others, afforded a man a wife whom he has protected from other men in what is known as marriage. With this wife, the have made a family.
BY VINCENT KARUHANGA
MAN is a social animal, who overtime developed a code of conduct that distinguished him from other animals. This social code of conduct has, among others, afforded a man a wife whom he has protected from other men in what is known as marriage. With this wife, the have made a family.
It became normal in some societies for a man to have more than one wife. In fact, the more women a man had, the higher the respect from peers.
But as society evolved, in came the idea of one man one wife, which was reinforced by religious beliefs and laws. Time and again, however, the animal instinct in man exerted overwhelming pressure leading to close association with other females, which eventually developed into polygamy.
Reproductive argument
Normally, man produces sperm from puberty (about 13 years) until he can no longer perform or he is six feet under.
However, a woman will be reproductive from puberty (around 10 years) to menopause, which can start at 45 years. In addition, pregnancy and childbirth takes such a physical toll on women that they are hard to sustain after age 40.
The challenge is a man keeps yearning for sex even after his wife has reached menopause.
Ejaculation capacity
A man produces more than 150 million sperm per ejaculation. He could fertilise many women in a single coitus. But a woman can only reproduce from two men per year.
Besides, there are times when she is not available sexually and in a monogamous relationship, the man has no other option. Is that not why many monogamous marriages in Uganda are becoming concealed polygamy or facing a sharp rise in HIV infections?
Coolidge and Rooster effects
In many homes, many couples share a bed but not intimacy. After a few years of marriage, their sexual desire for each other wanes, reducing intimacy.
This is different for animals, who reject those with whom they have been intimate with and need new ones. This is called the “Coolidge Effectâ€.
A cock will jump at any new hen in the homestead abandoning those they have been intimate with (rooster effect). Before marriage it is usual for men to initiate intercourse at a fairly high frequency with their girlfriends. After a few years of marriage, however, the husband’s sexual appetite reduces and an apparent reversal of libido may even occur, with the now frustrated wife demanding more sex than her ‘tired’ husband can supply. Yet the same husband can sustain multiple extra-marital affairs because of the rooster effect.
Hormones
Oxytocin, the love and cuddle hormone is produced when people are in love and when a woman is breastfeeding. This leads to binding lovers to each other or a mother to her baby.
Love-induced oxytocin production seems to reduce as relationships labour on, leading to a search for new partners. In such cases, the man tends to express lust not love.
Menopause in many women also brings sexual difficulties, vaginal dryness, loss of libido and painful sex. It is not surprising then that a male spouse being left in sexual cold is likely to seek other women for sexual relief.
Many Ugandan communities have since time immemorial been polygamous, but faced with external socio-economic and religious influences, they are becoming monogamous.
But, under the cover of night, men are fighting a silent war against monogamy. In many cases, monogamy is cushioned by multiple extra-marital affairs. For a true monogamous society to develop, nature has to effect biological changes on the man.
The writer is a medical doctor
MAN is a social animal, who overtime developed a code of conduct that distinguished him from other animals. This social code of conduct has, among others, afforded a man a wife whom he has protected from other men in what is known as marriage. With this wife, the have made a family.
It became normal in some societies for a man to have more than one wife. In fact, the more women a man had, the higher the respect from peers.
But as society evolved, in came the idea of one man one wife, which was reinforced by religious beliefs and laws. Time and again, however, the animal instinct in man exerted overwhelming pressure leading to close association with other females, which eventually developed into polygamy.
Reproductive argument
Normally, man produces sperm from puberty (about 13 years) until he can no longer perform or he is six feet under.
However, a woman will be reproductive from puberty (around 10 years) to menopause, which can start at 45 years. In addition, pregnancy and childbirth takes such a physical toll on women that they are hard to sustain after age 40.
The challenge is a man keeps yearning for sex even after his wife has reached menopause.
Ejaculation capacity
A man produces more than 150 million sperm per ejaculation. He could fertilise many women in a single coitus. But a woman can only reproduce from two men per year.
Besides, there are times when she is not available sexually and in a monogamous relationship, the man has no other option. Is that not why many monogamous marriages in Uganda are becoming concealed polygamy or facing a sharp rise in HIV infections?
Coolidge and Rooster effects
In many homes, many couples share a bed but not intimacy. After a few years of marriage, their sexual desire for each other wanes, reducing intimacy.
This is different for animals, who reject those with whom they have been intimate with and need new ones. This is called the “Coolidge Effectâ€.
A cock will jump at any new hen in the homestead abandoning those they have been intimate with (rooster effect). Before marriage it is usual for men to initiate intercourse at a fairly high frequency with their girlfriends. After a few years of marriage, however, the husband’s sexual appetite reduces and an apparent reversal of libido may even occur, with the now frustrated wife demanding more sex than her ‘tired’ husband can supply. Yet the same husband can sustain multiple extra-marital affairs because of the rooster effect.
Hormones
Oxytocin, the love and cuddle hormone is produced when people are in love and when a woman is breastfeeding. This leads to binding lovers to each other or a mother to her baby.
Love-induced oxytocin production seems to reduce as relationships labour on, leading to a search for new partners. In such cases, the man tends to express lust not love.
Menopause in many women also brings sexual difficulties, vaginal dryness, loss of libido and painful sex. It is not surprising then that a male spouse being left in sexual cold is likely to seek other women for sexual relief.
Many Ugandan communities have since time immemorial been polygamous, but faced with external socio-economic and religious influences, they are becoming monogamous.
But, under the cover of night, men are fighting a silent war against monogamy. In many cases, monogamy is cushioned by multiple extra-marital affairs. For a true monogamous society to develop, nature has to effect biological changes on the man.
The writer is a medical doctor