How different Ugandan cultures perceive virginity
IN traditional African society, virginity was something to be proud of. Sengas (paternal aunts) were charged with giving chastity talks to girls from a young age.
By Joyce Nyakato
IN traditional African society, virginity was something to be proud of. Sengas (paternal aunts) were charged with giving chastity talks to girls from a young age.
“Though culture did not lay much emphasis on male virginity, the woman had to remain chaste until she was married. It was only her husband that she was supposed to give the pleasure of seeing her nakedness,†says Judith Sserunkuma of Kibuye.
Among the Baganda, after the traditional wedding ceremony, the senga waited outside the bridal chambers for the bed sheets upon which the couple would consummate their marriage.
They had to be stained with blood as proof of the woman’s virginity. Armed with this proof, the senga would then go to the elders the following morning to show that she had dutifuly guarded the girl’s chastity.
Today, some over zealous sengas will follow the couple to the hotel where they spend the wedding night.
The husband was then required to give the senga a goat in appreciation. There was celebration, and the father became the envy of other villagers who made efforts to keep their daughters chaste.
However, if the blood-stained sheets failed to turn up, the husband’s family would give the girl’s family a piece of bark cloth with a hole in the middle, to rub it in their faces that their daughter had been deflowered before wedlock.
The Batooro had a similar practice, only that if the girl was not a virgin, her family received the bark cloth as well as a sheep.
“A sheep is thought to be a dim wit. So it was an insult,†says 50-year-old Akiiki Tuhaise, a resident of Bugolobi, Kampala.
“The mother also felt the pinch,†says Nakato Nambusi, a commercial senga in Makindye. “If she was in a polygamous marriage, the man would send her away because she had failed to guide her daughter well.â€
Akiiki says if a girl who was deflowered before her wedding night stayed married, that was the beginning of disaster in her marriage. Her husband would never respect her.
To prevent all this, parents and sengas did whatever it took to ensure that girls remained virgins until marriage. Sex talk sessions were part of social curriculum at the first signs of adolescence.
Nakato says back then virgins were easy to identify. The way they talked, walked and acted was quite different from the ones who had been ‘exposed’.
Virgins were the target of the affluent eligible bachelors because of the huge price tag they bore. That is why some men sent women to find them suitable wives. Match-making was a strong component of courtship in many African traditions.
In some communities, the price for a girl losing her virginity before marriage was death.
Catherine Tindimweba, a Mukiga in Kitintale, Kampala, says: “The culprits were drowned in a lake or river.†Though she never actually witnessed the punishment being meted out to anyone, she relied on her grandmother’s warnings.
To this day, Lake Bunyonyi and Kisizi falls are believed to have “swallowed†quite a number of these ‘fallen’ girls.
Among the Karimojong, virginity is especially prized because their way of life makes it difficult for an adolescent girl to make it to 18 as a virgin. Virginity is a symbol of valour.
Dellah Atim, a Karimojong in Kampala, says girls of the same age range sleep together in one hut, usually in the same compound as their parents. Under this arrangement, they are prone to night attacks from young men in the village.
“The responsibility to protect her virginity lies entirely with the girl. She has to ensure she secures herself during sleep and has to be alert and vigilant at night.
“Some even tie their legs with a string to avoid rape by these brutes,†Atim says.
Those who are able to fight against these intruders make it to marriage as virgins.
They are also the target of many a Karimojong man because their show of strength means they guarantee their husbands a stable future.
Nakato says most of these cultural practices have been eroded by westernisation which favours the idea of privacy as opposed to collectivism. Girls need to take it upon themselves to keep their virginity to gain trust from their husbands.
That said, some girls have broken their virginity before marriage because they are afraid to experience some of these cultural practices.
In Buganda, for example, the parents of the girl who was found to be a virgin were supposed to have sex on the same blood-stained sheets from their daughter’s wedding night.
It is said many estranged mothers persuaded their daughters to sleep with their betrothed, just to avoid the distasteful act of sleeping with their fathers.
Additional reporting by
Sebidde Kiryowa
IN traditional African society, virginity was something to be proud of. Sengas (paternal aunts) were charged with giving chastity talks to girls from a young age.
“Though culture did not lay much emphasis on male virginity, the woman had to remain chaste until she was married. It was only her husband that she was supposed to give the pleasure of seeing her nakedness,†says Judith Sserunkuma of Kibuye.
Among the Baganda, after the traditional wedding ceremony, the senga waited outside the bridal chambers for the bed sheets upon which the couple would consummate their marriage.
They had to be stained with blood as proof of the woman’s virginity. Armed with this proof, the senga would then go to the elders the following morning to show that she had dutifuly guarded the girl’s chastity.
Today, some over zealous sengas will follow the couple to the hotel where they spend the wedding night.
The husband was then required to give the senga a goat in appreciation. There was celebration, and the father became the envy of other villagers who made efforts to keep their daughters chaste.
However, if the blood-stained sheets failed to turn up, the husband’s family would give the girl’s family a piece of bark cloth with a hole in the middle, to rub it in their faces that their daughter had been deflowered before wedlock.
The Batooro had a similar practice, only that if the girl was not a virgin, her family received the bark cloth as well as a sheep.
“A sheep is thought to be a dim wit. So it was an insult,†says 50-year-old Akiiki Tuhaise, a resident of Bugolobi, Kampala.
“The mother also felt the pinch,†says Nakato Nambusi, a commercial senga in Makindye. “If she was in a polygamous marriage, the man would send her away because she had failed to guide her daughter well.â€
Akiiki says if a girl who was deflowered before her wedding night stayed married, that was the beginning of disaster in her marriage. Her husband would never respect her.
To prevent all this, parents and sengas did whatever it took to ensure that girls remained virgins until marriage. Sex talk sessions were part of social curriculum at the first signs of adolescence.
Nakato says back then virgins were easy to identify. The way they talked, walked and acted was quite different from the ones who had been ‘exposed’.
Virgins were the target of the affluent eligible bachelors because of the huge price tag they bore. That is why some men sent women to find them suitable wives. Match-making was a strong component of courtship in many African traditions.
In some communities, the price for a girl losing her virginity before marriage was death.
Catherine Tindimweba, a Mukiga in Kitintale, Kampala, says: “The culprits were drowned in a lake or river.†Though she never actually witnessed the punishment being meted out to anyone, she relied on her grandmother’s warnings.
To this day, Lake Bunyonyi and Kisizi falls are believed to have “swallowed†quite a number of these ‘fallen’ girls.
Among the Karimojong, virginity is especially prized because their way of life makes it difficult for an adolescent girl to make it to 18 as a virgin. Virginity is a symbol of valour.
Dellah Atim, a Karimojong in Kampala, says girls of the same age range sleep together in one hut, usually in the same compound as their parents. Under this arrangement, they are prone to night attacks from young men in the village.
“The responsibility to protect her virginity lies entirely with the girl. She has to ensure she secures herself during sleep and has to be alert and vigilant at night.
“Some even tie their legs with a string to avoid rape by these brutes,†Atim says.
Those who are able to fight against these intruders make it to marriage as virgins.
They are also the target of many a Karimojong man because their show of strength means they guarantee their husbands a stable future.
Nakato says most of these cultural practices have been eroded by westernisation which favours the idea of privacy as opposed to collectivism. Girls need to take it upon themselves to keep their virginity to gain trust from their husbands.
That said, some girls have broken their virginity before marriage because they are afraid to experience some of these cultural practices.
In Buganda, for example, the parents of the girl who was found to be a virgin were supposed to have sex on the same blood-stained sheets from their daughter’s wedding night.
It is said many estranged mothers persuaded their daughters to sleep with their betrothed, just to avoid the distasteful act of sleeping with their fathers.
Additional reporting by
Sebidde Kiryowa