TOP
Saturday,October 24,2020 18:49 PM
  • Home
  • Archive
  • For peace in your home, learn to say sorry

For peace in your home, learn to say sorry

By Vision Reporter

Added 6th August 2010 03:00 AM

We all make mistakes. We are human after all. But it doesn’t matter how bad they are, sometimes saying sorry can make it all better.

We all make mistakes. We are human after all. But it doesn’t matter how bad they are, sometimes saying sorry can make it all better.

By Anne Kirya
We all make mistakes. We are human after all. But it doesn’t matter how bad they are, sometimes saying sorry can make it all better.

Remember when as a child you would cry if you fell down but on hearing the word sorry, the pain would disappear as if by magic?

It is the same for adults; ‘sorry’ mends fences and soothes egos; it can even build empires … and that’s no exaggeration.

But sometimes men find it hard to say sorry. People tend to think that by apologising, they are relinquishing their power.

It is even harder for some people to apologise when they have done nothing to warrant an apology.
Do you apologise when your wife expects it yet you know you are totally innocent?

Let’s be honest, sometimes you are backed into a corner and the only thing that can get you out is an apology, even if you are not guilty.
“If it will make her feel better, why not?” Paul asks.

Apologies really cost nothing and according to him, “it gives us a chance to move on”. It is like putting out a fire before it even starts.

Anthony feels that it is unfair of women to expect men to always apologise but he would do it because it is easier than getting into a fight over nothing.

Saying sorry is one of the easiest ways to show your partner that you care about them.

Whether you are right or wrong, you want peace in your relationship and a simple sorry will do the trick.

Most people learn best from example.

Apologising to your partner even when you are not in the wrong, especially if they know that you are not in the wrong, will show them that it is okay to apologise.

She will feel comfortable saying sorry to you when her turn comes.
John, however, feels that apologising for a crime he did not commit is like admitting that he is guilty.

Saying sorry in this case will depend on the “crime” in question and how you actually phrase the apology.

If you are being accused of cheating and you are innocent, then there is no need to apologise; an apology will be taken as a confession in that case.

Daudi, a bank teller, has difficulty apologising to his girlfriend and cannot imagine doing so when he is innocent.

According to him, women take that as a sign of weakness and that doing this sets a precedent for the woman to expect apologies for things as simple as him leaving his cup in the bedroom.

But men should not forget that women are very big on feelings and feelings do get hurt.

Apologising for hurting her feelings while still making it clear that you are innocent may help matters.

John feels that some women use apologies as a tool to get power in relationships. Whoever apologises is the weaker party.

He admits that it is childish but that is the way it is. He will only apologise if it is clear that he is at fault.

“But being incapable of apologising can be a real character flaw,” says Beverly Engel, a psychotherapist and author of The Power of Apology.

“Being the bigger man and apologising first is a sign of maturity. Take the plunge and say “I am sorry”.

For peace in your home, learn to say sorry

Related articles

More From The Author

More From The Author