Sex please, with no strings attached
BEN is a player. He met Becky in the club and pulled out all the tricks in the book to get her into his bed. Two days later, he spotted her at the Rugby Club. He quickly whispered to his boys about ‘how easy she was’.
By Angela Ndagano
BEN is a player. He met Becky in the club and pulled out all the tricks in the book to get her into his bed. Two days later, he spotted her at the Rugby Club. He quickly whispered to his boys about ‘how easy she was’.
But to his dismay, as he waved at her, she acted like she had never seen him. That was chapter one. Before Ben could flip to the next page, chapter two came crashing down on his ego; Becky was not her real name! So, wait a minute. You are claiming you conquered the woman when you don’t even know her true identity?
The scene we are used to is one in which a man who kisses and tells is so full of his exploits that as he saunters out of bed, his first deed is to call his boys and let them know how easy it was to conquer Ms X.
Simply put, casual sex was a prerogative of men. Women were supposed to love, and love deeply.
But women seem to have changed with the time. So, as he saunters to the bathroom, she flips her Samsung to inform her pals. Same script, different players. The tables have turned! These girls are taking over town.
A scribe we can only identify as David, says he was considering a serious relationship with a Makerere University student. the girl did not play hard and within a week of dating, she had visited his home in Kitintale and spent the night. But that was the last he heard from her.
“I still have her number, but of course, it’s no longer in use,†David gripes. “Even the name she gave me was false.â€
David later found himself in the same situation with a sales lady. Hannah had more than a month of occasional romance with him. Then she stopped visiting. Just like that. She stopped picking his calls, too.
In the movie Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw asks one of the great questions of our time: “In an age where women enjoy the same money and successes as men, why shouldn’t women be able to enjoy sex like a man?â€
These ladies are not your average girls dressed in skimpy clothes and high heeled shoes. There are what you would describe as normal, the majority in the corporate world.
Some women have been in the game for too long and are tired of being used by men. “I have been tossed aside like a piece of trash by guys I had feelings for. with casual sex I know there no feelings. I can deal with it,†explains Bella, a lawyer.
We might judge these women as not having any morals at all, but to them, the question of morals is relative. “A persons’ morals are dictated by their own individual sense of right or wrong,†one argues.
Their only regret is if the men do not meet their expectations in the bedroom. “I hook up with guys for a good time, so it’s frustrating if he is an amateur,†says Irene, a banker.
FROM THE COUNSELLOR
IN the past, it was only men who sought sex and run away from its implications, without shame. For that we gave girls advice about going slow on sex suggestions, delaying commitment and preserving their dignity.
Now that girls are the aggressors, the same advice goes to guys. Sex is private. Exposing yourself to someone who is going to share your secret with her peers for a good laugh makes can kill your self esteem. It is safer to withhold your treasure for someone you are sure loves you and will not ridicule you for whatever may come with first-time encounters.
Remember, your self esteem matters in your ambitions, problem solving, performance and self image. Don’t lose it over impatience for sex.
BEN is a player. He met Becky in the club and pulled out all the tricks in the book to get her into his bed. Two days later, he spotted her at the Rugby Club. He quickly whispered to his boys about ‘how easy she was’.
But to his dismay, as he waved at her, she acted like she had never seen him. That was chapter one. Before Ben could flip to the next page, chapter two came crashing down on his ego; Becky was not her real name! So, wait a minute. You are claiming you conquered the woman when you don’t even know her true identity?
The scene we are used to is one in which a man who kisses and tells is so full of his exploits that as he saunters out of bed, his first deed is to call his boys and let them know how easy it was to conquer Ms X.
Simply put, casual sex was a prerogative of men. Women were supposed to love, and love deeply.
But women seem to have changed with the time. So, as he saunters to the bathroom, she flips her Samsung to inform her pals. Same script, different players. The tables have turned! These girls are taking over town.
A scribe we can only identify as David, says he was considering a serious relationship with a Makerere University student. the girl did not play hard and within a week of dating, she had visited his home in Kitintale and spent the night. But that was the last he heard from her.
“I still have her number, but of course, it’s no longer in use,†David gripes. “Even the name she gave me was false.â€
David later found himself in the same situation with a sales lady. Hannah had more than a month of occasional romance with him. Then she stopped visiting. Just like that. She stopped picking his calls, too.
In the movie Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw asks one of the great questions of our time: “In an age where women enjoy the same money and successes as men, why shouldn’t women be able to enjoy sex like a man?â€
These ladies are not your average girls dressed in skimpy clothes and high heeled shoes. There are what you would describe as normal, the majority in the corporate world.
Some women have been in the game for too long and are tired of being used by men. “I have been tossed aside like a piece of trash by guys I had feelings for. with casual sex I know there no feelings. I can deal with it,†explains Bella, a lawyer.
We might judge these women as not having any morals at all, but to them, the question of morals is relative. “A persons’ morals are dictated by their own individual sense of right or wrong,†one argues.
Their only regret is if the men do not meet their expectations in the bedroom. “I hook up with guys for a good time, so it’s frustrating if he is an amateur,†says Irene, a banker.
FROM THE COUNSELLOR
IN the past, it was only men who sought sex and run away from its implications, without shame. For that we gave girls advice about going slow on sex suggestions, delaying commitment and preserving their dignity.
Now that girls are the aggressors, the same advice goes to guys. Sex is private. Exposing yourself to someone who is going to share your secret with her peers for a good laugh makes can kill your self esteem. It is safer to withhold your treasure for someone you are sure loves you and will not ridicule you for whatever may come with first-time encounters.
Remember, your self esteem matters in your ambitions, problem solving, performance and self image. Don’t lose it over impatience for sex.