The politics of office romance
Sep 19, 2010
DOES the love bug give notice on when it will strike? Must two people whose chemical reaction rhymes never ‘become one’ because they work together? These and more ‘love at office’ questions have been asked for generations to no avail.
By Alex Balimwikungu
DOES the love bug give notice on when it will strike? Must two people whose chemical reaction rhymes never ‘become one’ because they work together? These and more ‘love at office’ questions have been asked for generations to no avail.
Perhaps, you have also heard about the expression “dip not your pen in the company ink.†But wait a minute!
Opposition from conservatives and purists, notwithstanding, office romance has gained ground. Today, many people have accepted the fact that co-workers can date, fall in love and get married.
Whether it is just about sex, an extra marital affair, or a relationship to move an individual up the career ladder, love relationships and match-making seem to have found abode in the office. Such affairs are no longer spoken about in hushed tones.
With the amount of time people spend at work and the increasing number of women in the workforce, where else is a couple supposed to meet?
Where our parents generally met at school or village wells, forming mutually beneficial relationships that turned to marriage. Nowadays it appears the majority meet at the workplace where they forge and establish relationships. Besides, there is a general feeling among today’s workforce that traditional meeting places such as church, family events, the neighbourhood and leisure time activities do not present the same pool of candidates as they did in earlier times.
So, just because the office provides you a pre-selected pool of people who share similar interests, live within reasonable dating distance and see each other on a daily basis, is it okay for you to let the hormones do the ‘talking’ and embark on a fully-fledged office romance with no-holds-barred?
Recently, a celebrated radio personality in town was forced to resign his job when it was known that he was romantically linked with a fellow worker. Shortly after he returned from the traditional introduction (kwanjula), which was, ironically, attended by top management, the couple was asked to choose on who stays and who goes. The man resigned. He retained the bitterness though.
>b?
Work place romance policies lacking
Harrison Kiggundu, a human resource expert in town, says workplace romance is a major worry to employers. He admits that most organisations walk a fine line between ensuring employee productivity and interfering with the private affairs of their employees.
Kiggundu observes that most companies in Uganda do not have a formal or written romance policy in place as policy-makers in most organisations believe that workplace romances cannot be legislated away and should be ignored unless they present a threat to individual, group and organisational effectiveness.
“For those that have such policies in place, they are based on unwritten, but well-understood norms in the workplace. Even when some companies discourage it, about 60% workers at same workplaces are romantically involved.
“About a quarter of them go on and get married, with the company CEO on hand to give glowing speeches about the couple,†he explains.
Most companies though have shown enthusiasm towards enacting sexual harassment policies.
It is disruptive
Kiggundu is hard-pressed to find anything good that comes from office romance.
He argues that when two people, who work closely together get romantically involved, the risks (personal and professional) increase.
“In a relationship, one is supposed to open up their heart, making themselves emotionally vulnerable. In the process, they also take significant professional risks that could put their careers and those of their dating partners in jeopardy.â€
Kiggundu identifies two kinds of romance with damaging effect on organisational effectiveness as hierarchal romances, where one participant directly reports to the other, and utilitarian romance where one satisfies sexual needs others for ‘career advancement.’
“Whenever an employee follows their heart and not their mind at office, some workmates see them as foolish, impulsive, unprofessional, or unreliable,†he says.
According to experts, there are a number of compelling reasons why companies tend to discourage office romances. An office romance can create tension or jealousy among co-workers, which leads directly to a lowering of morale and productivity.
There is always the possibility that a couple’s personal breakup could turn into a office shakeup as either one or both resign their positions or request transfers.
On the other hand, the modern workplace would seem to be an ideal place to meet potential romantic partners.
A company employing hundreds of single people in various offices and departments should expect at least a few of them to meet and socialise outside of work.
Kiggundu also advises companies to always train all employees on the company’s zero tolerance towards sexual harassment.
Pros and cons of office romance
Office is a great place to meet. At work, you generally become interested in someone over time, which is better than when you set on a wild goose chase.
By working alongside someone you will get to know them as a person. Parties and churches are full of actors. The office ensures is a stronger bond.
If you date someone you work with, chances are you will have a healthy relationship since you spend a lot of time together.
Have a helping hand during those stressful times. If you are dating a workmate they will go that extra mile for you than anyone else to soothe your nerves.
Why office relationships should be discouraged
Subject of idle gossip. If you start a relationship with someone in your office, you can be sure that other people will gossip about it. It is inevitable and unavoidable.
Jealousy. Jealousy can come from a few sides, especially if it is a boss-employee relationship. Things like bonus will always be queried.
Spending too much time together is great, but sometimes you do just need a break. Pleasure turns to pressure.
DOES the love bug give notice on when it will strike? Must two people whose chemical reaction rhymes never ‘become one’ because they work together? These and more ‘love at office’ questions have been asked for generations to no avail.
Perhaps, you have also heard about the expression “dip not your pen in the company ink.†But wait a minute!
Opposition from conservatives and purists, notwithstanding, office romance has gained ground. Today, many people have accepted the fact that co-workers can date, fall in love and get married.
Whether it is just about sex, an extra marital affair, or a relationship to move an individual up the career ladder, love relationships and match-making seem to have found abode in the office. Such affairs are no longer spoken about in hushed tones.
With the amount of time people spend at work and the increasing number of women in the workforce, where else is a couple supposed to meet?
Where our parents generally met at school or village wells, forming mutually beneficial relationships that turned to marriage. Nowadays it appears the majority meet at the workplace where they forge and establish relationships. Besides, there is a general feeling among today’s workforce that traditional meeting places such as church, family events, the neighbourhood and leisure time activities do not present the same pool of candidates as they did in earlier times.
So, just because the office provides you a pre-selected pool of people who share similar interests, live within reasonable dating distance and see each other on a daily basis, is it okay for you to let the hormones do the ‘talking’ and embark on a fully-fledged office romance with no-holds-barred?
Recently, a celebrated radio personality in town was forced to resign his job when it was known that he was romantically linked with a fellow worker. Shortly after he returned from the traditional introduction (kwanjula), which was, ironically, attended by top management, the couple was asked to choose on who stays and who goes. The man resigned. He retained the bitterness though.
>b?
Work place romance policies lacking
Harrison Kiggundu, a human resource expert in town, says workplace romance is a major worry to employers. He admits that most organisations walk a fine line between ensuring employee productivity and interfering with the private affairs of their employees.
Kiggundu observes that most companies in Uganda do not have a formal or written romance policy in place as policy-makers in most organisations believe that workplace romances cannot be legislated away and should be ignored unless they present a threat to individual, group and organisational effectiveness.
“For those that have such policies in place, they are based on unwritten, but well-understood norms in the workplace. Even when some companies discourage it, about 60% workers at same workplaces are romantically involved.
“About a quarter of them go on and get married, with the company CEO on hand to give glowing speeches about the couple,†he explains.
Most companies though have shown enthusiasm towards enacting sexual harassment policies.
It is disruptive
Kiggundu is hard-pressed to find anything good that comes from office romance.
He argues that when two people, who work closely together get romantically involved, the risks (personal and professional) increase.
“In a relationship, one is supposed to open up their heart, making themselves emotionally vulnerable. In the process, they also take significant professional risks that could put their careers and those of their dating partners in jeopardy.â€
Kiggundu identifies two kinds of romance with damaging effect on organisational effectiveness as hierarchal romances, where one participant directly reports to the other, and utilitarian romance where one satisfies sexual needs others for ‘career advancement.’
“Whenever an employee follows their heart and not their mind at office, some workmates see them as foolish, impulsive, unprofessional, or unreliable,†he says.
According to experts, there are a number of compelling reasons why companies tend to discourage office romances. An office romance can create tension or jealousy among co-workers, which leads directly to a lowering of morale and productivity.
There is always the possibility that a couple’s personal breakup could turn into a office shakeup as either one or both resign their positions or request transfers.
On the other hand, the modern workplace would seem to be an ideal place to meet potential romantic partners.
A company employing hundreds of single people in various offices and departments should expect at least a few of them to meet and socialise outside of work.
Kiggundu also advises companies to always train all employees on the company’s zero tolerance towards sexual harassment.
Pros and cons of office romance
Why office relationships should be discouraged