Is someone out there preying on our kids?

By Angela Ndagano and Doreen Murungi

HAJAT Amina, a staunch Muslim, collapsed and was hospitalised after seeing half-nude pictures of her teenage daughter in a local tabloid. Amina had given her daughter money to attend a holiday bash for Senior Four leavers.

As schools break off for the long festive season holidays, many holiday bash adverts will flood the streets targeting holiday makers. But behind these seemingly clean adverts, moralists say, lies a monster waiting to prey on innocent teenagers.

“The bashes we (students) organise ourselves are more exciting, the fun begins at 7:00pm. That is when people stop feeling shy. They wear more revealing clothes and start to pair up,” says Augustine Twino, a Senior Six student.

He recounts some of the daring games at the bash: “We normally play a drink game where we all collect sh5,000, then mix different kinds of alcohol to make cocktails. People then take turns to drink until they cannot take in any more. The last man standing wins the money.”

Twino says anyone who refuses to drink is called names like ‘loser’ and ‘weak league’. This usually forces many to drink to prove their worth.

Twino’s revelation is what the media has often reported at holiday bashes mostly organised at beaches. The media has been awash with stories and graphic pictures of pupils engaged in orgies at beaches during holiday bashes.

The minister of ethics and integrity, James Nsaba Buturo, says holiday bashes are not good because of the immoral activities teenagers engage in at these events.

“We do not discourage them (holiday makers) from coming together, but they should come together for events that will help them develop and become better citizens in the future. Those who are involved should make sure they do not fall prey to vices,” Buturo advises.

Stephen Dagada, the former Kayunga district chairperson, once directed the Police to disperse organisers of such events claiming he was doing it to guard the children against immorality. He says the organisers of such events usually take advantage of children’s ignorance and expose them to all sorts of vices.

Student organised bashes vs events company bashes
Tina Omoding, the marketing director of Buzz Events, the organisers of an annual holiday makers’ bash defends the concept of bashes.

“Students need to have fun and relieve themselves of academic stress. It helps the children to express themselves and show their talents,” Omoding argues.

Percy Tumuhairwe, an administrator at Sharing Youth Centre, Nsambya, also agrees that bashes are not necessarily negative when organised properly.

“These bashes involve shows and competitions that help students discover their talents,” she says.

Tumuhairwe advises parents to allow children to go for bashes organised by events management companies, claiming those organised by individual students promote bad behaviour.

Parents speak out
Elizabeth Rwambale, a parent, says: “Bashes are not good. Children only go there to meet their boyfriends.”

Andrew Kyagaba, a parent, concurs with Rwambale. “Bashes are planned evil, there is nothing beneficial. Some children go innocently but end up being influenced by their peers to drink and engage in early sex,” he says.

Margaret Byabasaija, a mother, believes bashes are avenues where teenage girls meet older men. “One time my husband granted our daughter permission to go for a holiday makers’ bash but she returned home with an expensive mobile telephone. I do not think a young boy could afford such a telephone, it must have been a gift from a sugar dad,” she says.

However, Omoding refutes the parents’ assertions. “The security is very tight. The security people are told what kind of people to expect and only older people allowed into the event are officials who have valid identity cards.”

Omoding says it is important for the organisers of such bashes to earn the trust of the parents. “Over the years, we have earned the trust of many parents. When we say the bash ends at 6.30pm, we never go beyond that,” remarks Omoding.

However, she admits that there are some characters who tend to be unruly. “Sometimes the children sneak out of the venue and leave with other people after their parents have left, but we ensure there is decent fun and games to keep them busy,” Omoding explains.

Holiday makers’ side of story
Amina Nakyeyune, a student, who has attended many holiday bashes argues that bashes held during the day are good. “The bashes normally start at 12:00pm and are over by 6:00pm. I do not know why people exaggerate, we do not do all those bad things people claim,” Nakyeyune stresses.

Joseph Lubaga, a Senior Three student, says it is strict parents who drive them to do what they would not have done. “If a bash is in open space during the day, I do not see why a parent refuses me to go. It is such acts that make us go for something they do not know about.”

Leticia Kyobe, a student, says it is not good for parents to deny holiday makers the right to have fun. “There is nothing about bashes that makes me spoilt. I am either spoilt before or not. I cannot get spoilt in one day.”

Lilia Apolot, a Senior Three student, says denying children permission to enjoy bashes now denies them the opportunity to enjoy this stage in life. “If I miss now, I may want to catch up later on in my life. Haven’t you seen some married people doing things for teenagers? It is because they missed out on such things,” she reasons.

Rehema Mulekezi, a psychologist, says before parents try to find ways of preventing children from taking part in such events, they need to address the laxity in proper parenthood in homes.

Mulekezi argues that if a parent knows that he or she has instilled solid values in a child, why should he worry? “If your child is well grounded and they went to an event that is not appropriate, trust that they will not stay there. We parents at times impose rules on children that are too rigid in that when they get an opportunity, they will do something you may never forget.”

Omoding emphasises that its better the children take part in a bigger event everyone knows about than let them sneak out to make their own. She urges parents to make a distinction between the harmful and harmless bashes.

“We usually deal with soda companies. All events happen during the day which is different from those that happen at night and involve alcohol,” says Omoding

Vincent Sekatte, the Police spokesperson, says they have no problem with children attending bashes as long as they are not for the wrong reasons. He calls upon organisers to ensure that the venues for their bashes are secure. “As long as it is for the right reasons, always notify the Police so we can provide security.”

Omoding’s advice to parents

Drop off your child and pick them at the right time.

Monitor your child to ensure he is at the bash.

Ensure the child does not carry alcohol to the bash.