Ugandans obsessed with Iraq
On Thursday morning last week, I expected to receive phone calls from friends that I have only known because of my untold love for the English Premiership. But, when they finally called, their interests had drastically changed to the war on Iraq.
By Denis Jjuuko
On Thursday morning last week, I expected to receive phone calls from friends that I have only known because of my untold love for the English Premiership. These soccer fanatics always do it. Wednesday night was really a bad one for all Arsene and Wenger admirers.
So, I waited for these soccer friends to laugh at me. But, when they finally called, none of them talked about football.
Their interests had drastically changed to the war on Iraq.
We talked at length about whether Saddam Hussein would survive the oil-searching imperialists from across the Atlantic and whether Uncle Sam, with the help of his arrogant British cousins was justified in attacking a sovereign state without Mr. Koffi Annan’s approval.
Since US laser-guided Tomahawk cruise missiles fell on Baghdad in a botched attempt to assassinate the Iraqi strongman together with his two highly regarded sons, the discussion topics in this pearly city have changed. Nobody talks about Ituri, the Kony war and whether Roger Mugisha really talked to God.
Today, it is the war on Iraq and the ability of the superpower’s ability (or inability) to crush Saddam.
As I ambled downtown Kampala on Monday morning, nobody seemed to do their work. The Luwum/William street Capos who normally sit there waiting for commissions on the DMC vehicles they sell, or those plots of land located in wetlands for which they broker deals, all sat there discussing the Iraq war.
Those who had been to some school, even if they did not go beyond the first three UPE classes were the speakers.
Most of these ‘I-know-it-all’ chaps are bloody liars. They properly got it all from their small potable radio sets.
To them, “Sadaamuu†has scud missiles that can hit Washington DC. “Agenda kukuba Wasiingitooni ne mizayiiiro ze,†they argue.
Saddam, possessing missiles that can directly strike the American capital? My foot! I listened to them anyway. At one point they agreed to call a learned man to break it all down to them. They did, but the fellow they referred to was as educated was as ignorant as they were.
The only difference was that he could quote CNN and the Internet. But that was about all he could do. But even the CNN he quoted, it seemed, was a fragment of his imagination.
He successfully misquoted his ‘impeccable’ sources as saying that Gen. Tommy Franks, the overall commander of the allied forces against Saddam Hussein, has one million soldiers in the Gulf and that the Americans pushed Iraqi troops out of Kuwait in Operation Desert Storm.
Talking of operations, this was another argument as they all had different names of Operation Iraq Freedom. They could have exchanged blows over it.
But beware of liars! Assume whoever comes to you quoting the Internet is wrong unless they can give you the name of the website.
For any contentious topic in a discussion, Ugandans will come up with made-up sources to satisfy their audiences that they are well informed. They come up with wrong figures and always shout at the top of their voices.
The strike on Baghdad has forced some people to reschedule their Sunday church service. Reason? To catch Ernest Basajjakambwe. He is a radio presenter on CBS FM. He gave details of the Iraqi war last Sunday on his 11.00am show.
Some astute Ugandans recorded his show on cassettes and are making a quick buck off them.
So, these people listen to these tapes over and over again and get some sketchy information on the war. When time for their discussion comes, they exaggerate it and end up telling lies.
With this redundancy, I presume some marriages will go the Kazibwe way. In this country, there are so many housewives who just produce babies and wait for their breadwinners. Yeah, many cannot even afford the services of a local pedicure boy. Can you imagine? They wait on their hubbies.
In taxis, it is the same old story. “Saddam†and “Bush†are common words today. The speedy taxi drivers tune from one radio station to another in a bid to keep abreast with the latest developments from the Iraqi wilderness.
There are those who listen to terms like “Apache Helicopters,†“stealth bombers†and “weapons of mass destruction,†on BBC. They react in “shock and awe†without listening to the full story.
There is this group of guys who called me over the weekend for a drink. When I arrived, they had already organised Ekimeeza. They assumed I would be their consultant just because I am a journalist. My pleas that I have never been a war reporter fell on deaf ears.
Yes, I have never covered the Kony war. I am not even ready to be ‘embedded’ with any troops in tanks and fighter planes. To be honest, the closest I have come to the frontline is through watching movies and recently when I visited Sissa Shooting Club.
I do not think I can even fire the ancient Russian AK-47. But the fellows wanted me to tell them whether “their man†will be killed or will just varnish Osama bin Laden style.
Anyway, I did not want to be in the doghouse with the folks who are settling the bar bills. There were even comely ‘pantless’ campus brown things. See, I did not have a choice but I did not answer their questions either. I zeroed in on the Kurds and insisted on the history of the now invaded country.
At places of work, there are more people watching so-called exclusive live broadcasts of the war. In the suburbs, there are video halls which have turned into TV rooms for those who cannot afford to buy their own screens.
They are making a lot of money from the ignorance of the innocent Iraqis. These are as happy as Bush and a host of his advisers who probably know nothing about international law.
However, this war has come with enormous problems. Fuel prices are likely to shoot up and poor Ugandan journalists have had their bylines on the front pages of the local dailies replaced by foreign ones.
They are not happy. They want the war to end so that they regain their by-lines.
On Thursday morning last week, I expected to receive phone calls from friends that I have only known because of my untold love for the English Premiership. These soccer fanatics always do it. Wednesday night was really a bad one for all Arsene and Wenger admirers.
So, I waited for these soccer friends to laugh at me. But, when they finally called, none of them talked about football.
Their interests had drastically changed to the war on Iraq.
We talked at length about whether Saddam Hussein would survive the oil-searching imperialists from across the Atlantic and whether Uncle Sam, with the help of his arrogant British cousins was justified in attacking a sovereign state without Mr. Koffi Annan’s approval.
Since US laser-guided Tomahawk cruise missiles fell on Baghdad in a botched attempt to assassinate the Iraqi strongman together with his two highly regarded sons, the discussion topics in this pearly city have changed. Nobody talks about Ituri, the Kony war and whether Roger Mugisha really talked to God.
Today, it is the war on Iraq and the ability of the superpower’s ability (or inability) to crush Saddam.
As I ambled downtown Kampala on Monday morning, nobody seemed to do their work. The Luwum/William street Capos who normally sit there waiting for commissions on the DMC vehicles they sell, or those plots of land located in wetlands for which they broker deals, all sat there discussing the Iraq war.
Those who had been to some school, even if they did not go beyond the first three UPE classes were the speakers.
Most of these ‘I-know-it-all’ chaps are bloody liars. They properly got it all from their small potable radio sets.
To them, “Sadaamuu†has scud missiles that can hit Washington DC. “Agenda kukuba Wasiingitooni ne mizayiiiro ze,†they argue.
Saddam, possessing missiles that can directly strike the American capital? My foot! I listened to them anyway. At one point they agreed to call a learned man to break it all down to them. They did, but the fellow they referred to was as educated was as ignorant as they were.
The only difference was that he could quote CNN and the Internet. But that was about all he could do. But even the CNN he quoted, it seemed, was a fragment of his imagination.
He successfully misquoted his ‘impeccable’ sources as saying that Gen. Tommy Franks, the overall commander of the allied forces against Saddam Hussein, has one million soldiers in the Gulf and that the Americans pushed Iraqi troops out of Kuwait in Operation Desert Storm.
Talking of operations, this was another argument as they all had different names of Operation Iraq Freedom. They could have exchanged blows over it.
But beware of liars! Assume whoever comes to you quoting the Internet is wrong unless they can give you the name of the website.
For any contentious topic in a discussion, Ugandans will come up with made-up sources to satisfy their audiences that they are well informed. They come up with wrong figures and always shout at the top of their voices.
The strike on Baghdad has forced some people to reschedule their Sunday church service. Reason? To catch Ernest Basajjakambwe. He is a radio presenter on CBS FM. He gave details of the Iraqi war last Sunday on his 11.00am show.
Some astute Ugandans recorded his show on cassettes and are making a quick buck off them.
So, these people listen to these tapes over and over again and get some sketchy information on the war. When time for their discussion comes, they exaggerate it and end up telling lies.
With this redundancy, I presume some marriages will go the Kazibwe way. In this country, there are so many housewives who just produce babies and wait for their breadwinners. Yeah, many cannot even afford the services of a local pedicure boy. Can you imagine? They wait on their hubbies.
In taxis, it is the same old story. “Saddam†and “Bush†are common words today. The speedy taxi drivers tune from one radio station to another in a bid to keep abreast with the latest developments from the Iraqi wilderness.
There are those who listen to terms like “Apache Helicopters,†“stealth bombers†and “weapons of mass destruction,†on BBC. They react in “shock and awe†without listening to the full story.
There is this group of guys who called me over the weekend for a drink. When I arrived, they had already organised Ekimeeza. They assumed I would be their consultant just because I am a journalist. My pleas that I have never been a war reporter fell on deaf ears.
Yes, I have never covered the Kony war. I am not even ready to be ‘embedded’ with any troops in tanks and fighter planes. To be honest, the closest I have come to the frontline is through watching movies and recently when I visited Sissa Shooting Club.
I do not think I can even fire the ancient Russian AK-47. But the fellows wanted me to tell them whether “their man†will be killed or will just varnish Osama bin Laden style.
Anyway, I did not want to be in the doghouse with the folks who are settling the bar bills. There were even comely ‘pantless’ campus brown things. See, I did not have a choice but I did not answer their questions either. I zeroed in on the Kurds and insisted on the history of the now invaded country.
At places of work, there are more people watching so-called exclusive live broadcasts of the war. In the suburbs, there are video halls which have turned into TV rooms for those who cannot afford to buy their own screens.
They are making a lot of money from the ignorance of the innocent Iraqis. These are as happy as Bush and a host of his advisers who probably know nothing about international law.
However, this war has come with enormous problems. Fuel prices are likely to shoot up and poor Ugandan journalists have had their bylines on the front pages of the local dailies replaced by foreign ones.
They are not happy. They want the war to end so that they regain their by-lines.