Mpa ku ssente is Kampala’s handshake
May 23, 2003
Something’s bothering me. These days, whoever I meet, asks me for bucks — Mpa ku ssente (Give me some money). Surprisingly, even those who started working before my mother got married to Mzee are on my case.
By Denis Jjuuko
Something’s bothering me. These days, whoever I meet, asks me for bucks — Mpa ku ssente (Give me some money). Surprisingly, even those who started working before my mother got married to Mzee are on my case.
There is also this irritating set of pals who always beep me. After ignoring a series of missed calls, (sorry beeps) for a while, I always find myself buzzing them.
And the noise follows: “Eh, Denis. You are lost my dear. Kale, I have been thinking about you. Ye lwaki tompa ku ssente?(Why don’t you give me some money?) Anti, New Vision is a very big company,†they start. “Oh yes, we hear your company even pays a lot in taxes. Give us some money or fix us there.â€
Well, I have never been hired to know how much Vision pays in taxes, nor am I a mechanic who fixes disconnected spare parts.
What bugs me is that some of the beepers are actually ‘loaded.’ They cruise sleek second-hand Toyotas and live in bungalows. The poor boy they are begging has just started working. He still avoids the landlord and is ever in fistfights with fraudulent conductors who always want to fleece him of sh100.
The demands never cease: “Tuwe ku ssente, our daughter will be introducing so and so of so and so who works with the other company.†I wonder why one should think of a kwanjula when one does not have the money?
Before I put down my mobile phone, another SMS inviting me for a graduation party meeting comes in. This one naturally means — tuwe ku ssente.
Then there is this babe: She is not even my girlfriend, but my ex. She is still the beeping girl she was two years ago. She says she does not remember the last time she tasted her cherished V&A sherry. She is wondering whether we can meet.
When I agree, the agenda of the meeting is money or the lack of it. She is so desperate that now she realises the grave mistake having walked out of my life: “Nawe mpa ku sente?†she says almost getting down on her knees.
The fellows at campus are next in the queue. They are asking for money to buy service fee. When I tell them to join the network that does not directly charge service fee, they all expose their teeth.
“Shaaaaaa, what will people think of us? The Mango network can’t even be caught (sic) in our village,†they answer. I’m not going to spend my money on these mpa ku ssente fellows.
Next time when I meet someone in town, it will be me to say, mpa ku ssente!
Something’s bothering me. These days, whoever I meet, asks me for bucks — Mpa ku ssente (Give me some money). Surprisingly, even those who started working before my mother got married to Mzee are on my case.
There is also this irritating set of pals who always beep me. After ignoring a series of missed calls, (sorry beeps) for a while, I always find myself buzzing them.
And the noise follows: “Eh, Denis. You are lost my dear. Kale, I have been thinking about you. Ye lwaki tompa ku ssente?(Why don’t you give me some money?) Anti, New Vision is a very big company,†they start. “Oh yes, we hear your company even pays a lot in taxes. Give us some money or fix us there.â€
Well, I have never been hired to know how much Vision pays in taxes, nor am I a mechanic who fixes disconnected spare parts.
What bugs me is that some of the beepers are actually ‘loaded.’ They cruise sleek second-hand Toyotas and live in bungalows. The poor boy they are begging has just started working. He still avoids the landlord and is ever in fistfights with fraudulent conductors who always want to fleece him of sh100.
The demands never cease: “Tuwe ku ssente, our daughter will be introducing so and so of so and so who works with the other company.†I wonder why one should think of a kwanjula when one does not have the money?
Before I put down my mobile phone, another SMS inviting me for a graduation party meeting comes in. This one naturally means — tuwe ku ssente.
Then there is this babe: She is not even my girlfriend, but my ex. She is still the beeping girl she was two years ago. She says she does not remember the last time she tasted her cherished V&A sherry. She is wondering whether we can meet.
When I agree, the agenda of the meeting is money or the lack of it. She is so desperate that now she realises the grave mistake having walked out of my life: “Nawe mpa ku sente?†she says almost getting down on her knees.
The fellows at campus are next in the queue. They are asking for money to buy service fee. When I tell them to join the network that does not directly charge service fee, they all expose their teeth.
“Shaaaaaa, what will people think of us? The Mango network can’t even be caught (sic) in our village,†they answer. I’m not going to spend my money on these mpa ku ssente fellows.
Next time when I meet someone in town, it will be me to say, mpa ku ssente!