Sex after birth: When should it resume?
Dec 07, 2003
While your sex life during pregnancy may continue normally, sex after birth is probably going to be the last thing on your mind! For a number of reasons, the sex drive decreases after childbirth.
While your sex life during pregnancy may continue normally, sex after birth is probably going to be the last thing on your mind! For a number of reasons, the sex drive decreases after childbirth.
Loss of libido aside, partners need to restrain themselves from sexual intercourse for some time when they get a new baby. This is because a woman needs time to recover from the exhaustion, tears, cuts, stress, hormonal changes, stitches and loss of lubrication. The question is, how long should you wait?
It’s only natural to overlook sex for weeks or even months, after you have your baby, says Dr Hiroshi Nakajima, in his book on safe motherhood practical guide. He explains that the hormone levels change significantly after birth, and of course the mother will also need time to adjust to the new baby.
However, Grace Akol, a senior nursing officer in Mulago Hospital, says there are no hard rules. She suggests that waiting for a check-up six weeks after delivery may be over-cautious.
“You should wait until the bleeding and discharge have subsided. This can take between two and six weeks, and perhaps longer for some people,†she says.
Hiroshi states that it takes approximately six weeks for the uterus to return to “normal†size after birth. So, early “authorities†felt that the proscription against intercourse should coincide with this landmark.
However, some women are emotionally and physically ready for intercourse much earlier.
William’s Obstetrics, a respected text, states that “following an uncomplicated delivery, a six-week abstinence from intercourse makes little sense. It can be safely resumed in as little as three weeks or when comfort can be maintained.â€
Akol says that for one who has had no tearing or stitches, it is probably fine to resume sexual relations as soon as two weeks postpartum.
“I would advise this additional week to assure the healing and closure of the cervix,†she says.
Akol adds that one should also wait until healing has occurred especially if you had a caesarean, stitches or forceps delivery.
“One should not resume sexual relations if you have any fever, malodorous discharge or red bleeding,†she adds.
Besides the doctor's advice, she says, she emphasises that the couple needs a little more time to talk to establish when she will be ready to resume sex. Try talking to each other about how you feel and avoid penetration the first few times.
But Dr Robert Businge, a consultant gynaecologist, cautions that a layperson may not know whether healing has occured sufficiently. Therefore it is better to abstain for at least six weeks and get examined before resuming sex.
“In some cases even after six weeks the healing is not proper and we extend the waiting period,†he says.
He says returning for a check after six weeks gives an opportunity to detect any abnormalities, test for cervical cancer and discuss contraception before resuming sex.
Both Akol and Businge warn that there is a risk of the woman becoming pregnant again any time after childbirth, even when the mother breast-feeds the baby. Therefore, couples need to think about contraceptives as they resume sex.
However, says Akol, they need to be careful because some contraceptives reduce milk production.
Akol also cautioned that at the beginning the experience might be painful for the woman because during the first few weeks she does not have enough lubrication. In this case, “try using a lubricant and let your partner know if you experience tightness or pain,†she says.
Additional reporting by Charles Wendo
Loss of libido aside, partners need to restrain themselves from sexual intercourse for some time when they get a new baby. This is because a woman needs time to recover from the exhaustion, tears, cuts, stress, hormonal changes, stitches and loss of lubrication. The question is, how long should you wait?
It’s only natural to overlook sex for weeks or even months, after you have your baby, says Dr Hiroshi Nakajima, in his book on safe motherhood practical guide. He explains that the hormone levels change significantly after birth, and of course the mother will also need time to adjust to the new baby.
However, Grace Akol, a senior nursing officer in Mulago Hospital, says there are no hard rules. She suggests that waiting for a check-up six weeks after delivery may be over-cautious.
“You should wait until the bleeding and discharge have subsided. This can take between two and six weeks, and perhaps longer for some people,†she says.
Hiroshi states that it takes approximately six weeks for the uterus to return to “normal†size after birth. So, early “authorities†felt that the proscription against intercourse should coincide with this landmark.
However, some women are emotionally and physically ready for intercourse much earlier.
William’s Obstetrics, a respected text, states that “following an uncomplicated delivery, a six-week abstinence from intercourse makes little sense. It can be safely resumed in as little as three weeks or when comfort can be maintained.â€
Akol says that for one who has had no tearing or stitches, it is probably fine to resume sexual relations as soon as two weeks postpartum.
“I would advise this additional week to assure the healing and closure of the cervix,†she says.
Akol adds that one should also wait until healing has occurred especially if you had a caesarean, stitches or forceps delivery.
“One should not resume sexual relations if you have any fever, malodorous discharge or red bleeding,†she adds.
Besides the doctor's advice, she says, she emphasises that the couple needs a little more time to talk to establish when she will be ready to resume sex. Try talking to each other about how you feel and avoid penetration the first few times.
But Dr Robert Businge, a consultant gynaecologist, cautions that a layperson may not know whether healing has occured sufficiently. Therefore it is better to abstain for at least six weeks and get examined before resuming sex.
“In some cases even after six weeks the healing is not proper and we extend the waiting period,†he says.
He says returning for a check after six weeks gives an opportunity to detect any abnormalities, test for cervical cancer and discuss contraception before resuming sex.
Both Akol and Businge warn that there is a risk of the woman becoming pregnant again any time after childbirth, even when the mother breast-feeds the baby. Therefore, couples need to think about contraceptives as they resume sex.
However, says Akol, they need to be careful because some contraceptives reduce milk production.
Akol also cautioned that at the beginning the experience might be painful for the woman because during the first few weeks she does not have enough lubrication. In this case, “try using a lubricant and let your partner know if you experience tightness or pain,†she says.
Additional reporting by Charles Wendo