Ask Auntie Liz
Dear Aunt Liz,<br>I am 44 years old and relating with a 25-year-old girl. I am doing everything in her life, from housing, feeding, clothing and school fees for postgraduate diploma. But I am not sure she has total love for me, though she says she has. M
Dear Aunt Liz,
I am 44 years old and relating with a 25-year-old girl. I am doing everything in her life, from housing, feeding, clothing and school fees for postgraduate diploma. But I am not sure she has total love for me, though she says she has. My doubt arises from these happenings.
1. She rarely replies my messages if they are expressive of love.
2. She gets lapses of rudeness like switching off the phone when we are talking and when she disagrees with me. Isn’t that disrespect? It really makes me mad. I have told her about it but she hasn’t changed. What can I do? Iam very worried.
Dear,
When two people enter a relationship, each have their expectations. You must be feeling cheated by your girlfriend who seems not to meet your expectations yet you have done a lot for her. You seem to have high expectations of her in response to the material support you give.
You need to understand that love cannot be solely attached to material things. When we do that it only makes the relationship look like a gamble that is highly likely to fail. Each individual needs to know what he or she wants out of a relationship. This helps because both of you can then work towards achieving your dreams in the relationship together.
You seem to have got to a point where there is less emotional togetherness. How often do you
spend time together? Are you able to share your interests and concerns? You may find that she is not necessarily overwhelmed by your generosity.
Love is one thing that goes beyond the three words - I love you. There is more to the words that appeals to the heart of the one you love. A woman loves to be respected and appreciated. This can be achieved as you spend time and share moments together. Considering the age difference, there may be a temptation to take each other for granted. This should not bother you provided you love each other and you know what you want out of this relationship. Poor communication causes anxiety and can make you feel like a failure. Spend time to talk to her about how you feel when she reacts the way she does
This puts you in a vulnerable position and this is healthy for both of you emotionally. With a change in perspective, you still have a chance to save your relationship. Don’t lose hope.
Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor
I am 44 years old and relating with a 25-year-old girl. I am doing everything in her life, from housing, feeding, clothing and school fees for postgraduate diploma. But I am not sure she has total love for me, though she says she has. My doubt arises from these happenings.
1. She rarely replies my messages if they are expressive of love.
2. She gets lapses of rudeness like switching off the phone when we are talking and when she disagrees with me. Isn’t that disrespect? It really makes me mad. I have told her about it but she hasn’t changed. What can I do? Iam very worried.
Dear,
When two people enter a relationship, each have their expectations. You must be feeling cheated by your girlfriend who seems not to meet your expectations yet you have done a lot for her. You seem to have high expectations of her in response to the material support you give.
You need to understand that love cannot be solely attached to material things. When we do that it only makes the relationship look like a gamble that is highly likely to fail. Each individual needs to know what he or she wants out of a relationship. This helps because both of you can then work towards achieving your dreams in the relationship together.
You seem to have got to a point where there is less emotional togetherness. How often do you
spend time together? Are you able to share your interests and concerns? You may find that she is not necessarily overwhelmed by your generosity.
Love is one thing that goes beyond the three words - I love you. There is more to the words that appeals to the heart of the one you love. A woman loves to be respected and appreciated. This can be achieved as you spend time and share moments together. Considering the age difference, there may be a temptation to take each other for granted. This should not bother you provided you love each other and you know what you want out of this relationship. Poor communication causes anxiety and can make you feel like a failure. Spend time to talk to her about how you feel when she reacts the way she does
This puts you in a vulnerable position and this is healthy for both of you emotionally. With a change in perspective, you still have a chance to save your relationship. Don’t lose hope.
Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor