Spoil him this Valentine’s
Men too need to be romanced and spoilt with some love
BY JOANNE ERIAKU
IT’S a tough, tough, tough world for the men folk in our lives: by toddler stage, they are not allowed to be as mushy-mushy as their female agemates. By the time men get to adulthood and real life relationships, the women in their lives expect to be mushy-mushied with chocolates and flowers and sweet nothings a plenty.
The fact that women are conditioned to expect romantic treatment does not indicate that men crave less for it. Have you ever stopped to think that men too need to be romanced and spoilt with some love.
It’s dare time ladies...get off that pedestal, throw out those archaic beliefs, let your creative juices flow, get nice and naughty and inflict him with a heavy dose of Lovefluenza. But before you get carried away and buy him chocolates, cards and those same sweet nothings he gives to you … take a long pause girlfriend ... those things do not move him the way they move you. He responds to another language … he speaks in capital ‘R’, you speak in ‘G’. So how do you get to strum that sturdy Spanish guitar of yours?!
l Rule 1 – ask yourself if you’re giving what you want or what is wanted? Listen and learn his definition of romance. It may be a fantasy, cajole it out of him. Fantasies come in many forms not just sexual. I know a guy whose version of romance is having his wife genuinely clicking and laughing at his jokes.
l Rule 2 — Like it or not 80% of him revolves around his ego. Give him an ego boost and you have given him a huge gift. He wants to know that the woman he loves is in awe of him.
l Rule 3 — Thrill him with the unexpected. Men thrive on variety, fresh conquests, adventure in the unexpected.
l Rule 4 — Keep some mystery.
l Rule 5 — be more naughty than nice
l Rule 6 – Romance him with words that are pregnant with potential
l Rule 7 – Keep it simple, complicated things cause a short-circuit in him
l Rule 8 – Silence is golden: women bond through constant chatter, men build connections through silence.
Here is a sneak peek into how you can translate theory into practice for him:
because you are a woman...
l 14 days of love: for every single day building up to Valentine’s, have something romantic planned for him.
l Doesn’t have to be 14, it can be seven – the blessed number or a number corresponding to your anniversary or a date you hold dear.
l Plan leave for him with his employer then fill the day with activities he likes.
l Have something specially delivered to him all day, every hour, could be breakfast/tea, then lunch, then a steamy letter...you catch the drift?
l Give him happy feet. As simple as this is …. a long aromatherapeutic foot massage speaks volumes to him
if you are Dating...
l Create a pleasure hunt
l Write and send him a formal application to apply for the position of lover/girlfriend. Let there be a cover letter explaining why you want the position and write a CV filled with a history of good times.
if you are married...
l Create a steamy love hunt
l Get the word dirty out of dirty dancing since you are doing it for your man. Take some classes if you must. Hint Hint; latino has some umpfh! dance moves
l Start valentine-ing Him from breakfast or even midnight
BY JOANNE ERIAKU
IT’S a tough, tough, tough world for the men folk in our lives: by toddler stage, they are not allowed to be as mushy-mushy as their female agemates. By the time men get to adulthood and real life relationships, the women in their lives expect to be mushy-mushied with chocolates and flowers and sweet nothings a plenty.
The fact that women are conditioned to expect romantic treatment does not indicate that men crave less for it. Have you ever stopped to think that men too need to be romanced and spoilt with some love.
It’s dare time ladies...get off that pedestal, throw out those archaic beliefs, let your creative juices flow, get nice and naughty and inflict him with a heavy dose of Lovefluenza. But before you get carried away and buy him chocolates, cards and those same sweet nothings he gives to you … take a long pause girlfriend ... those things do not move him the way they move you. He responds to another language … he speaks in capital ‘R’, you speak in ‘G’. So how do you get to strum that sturdy Spanish guitar of yours?!
l Rule 1 – ask yourself if you’re giving what you want or what is wanted? Listen and learn his definition of romance. It may be a fantasy, cajole it out of him. Fantasies come in many forms not just sexual. I know a guy whose version of romance is having his wife genuinely clicking and laughing at his jokes.
l Rule 2 — Like it or not 80% of him revolves around his ego. Give him an ego boost and you have given him a huge gift. He wants to know that the woman he loves is in awe of him.
l Rule 3 — Thrill him with the unexpected. Men thrive on variety, fresh conquests, adventure in the unexpected.
l Rule 4 — Keep some mystery.
l Rule 5 — be more naughty than nice
l Rule 6 – Romance him with words that are pregnant with potential
l Rule 7 – Keep it simple, complicated things cause a short-circuit in him
l Rule 8 – Silence is golden: women bond through constant chatter, men build connections through silence.
Here is a sneak peek into how you can translate theory into practice for him:
because you are a woman...
l 14 days of love: for every single day building up to Valentine’s, have something romantic planned for him.
l Doesn’t have to be 14, it can be seven – the blessed number or a number corresponding to your anniversary or a date you hold dear.
l Plan leave for him with his employer then fill the day with activities he likes.
l Have something specially delivered to him all day, every hour, could be breakfast/tea, then lunch, then a steamy letter...you catch the drift?
l Give him happy feet. As simple as this is …. a long aromatherapeutic foot massage speaks volumes to him
if you are Dating...
l Create a pleasure hunt
l Write and send him a formal application to apply for the position of lover/girlfriend. Let there be a cover letter explaining why you want the position and write a CV filled with a history of good times.
if you are married...
l Create a steamy love hunt
l Get the word dirty out of dirty dancing since you are doing it for your man. Take some classes if you must. Hint Hint; latino has some umpfh! dance moves
l Start valentine-ing Him from breakfast or even midnight