MMM HMM! I rarely need to clear my throat but when it comes to total men, it seems the right way to start an interaction. Today is Valentineâ€™s Day and some vain men have fled the country, others are in hiding or in drama to avoid getting poorer just bec
MMM HMM! I rarely need to clear my throat but when it comes to total men, it seems the right way to start an interaction. Today is Valentineâ€™s Day and some vain men have fled the country, others are in hiding or in drama to avoid getting poorer just because they chose to love. Cool down man; Valentineâ€™s Day doesnâ€™t bite!
Just see it more as a chance to bond and less as a risk of becoming a dime poorer.
I know your woman (women?) expects gifts, but, is that not a matter of course? It is the fate of all lovers. Why swim if you donâ€™t want to get wet? You dived in, face the water, get wet and be a man.
Which is to say, donâ€™t frown, donâ€™t cry; big boys donâ€™t! Love is as funny as FDC. If you think you have done a lot for her, ask Betty Kamya.
Just for Valentineâ€™s mistakes, you can be dumped, or â€˜added onâ€™ some kind of helper. Neither is good for you.
First of all, Valentineâ€™s gifts donâ€™t have to rip up your wallet. They donâ€™t have to be expensive; just sentimental and romantic. Add a thoughtful card and wrap it like it is more important to you than the current land bill. Politics my dear, rules the world.
I know all your excuses about lack of time to look for the right gift but you can ask a sister or a female relative to help, especially if your knowledge of female gifts matches that of Mufti Kayongo and English.
And if your wallet flashes a GTV signal, donâ€™t worry, you will still get your level. This town is full of sweet nothings that go for less than sh10, 000. Arenâ€™t you lucky?
But above all gifts, the best Valentineâ€™s gift is the intimate time you spend together. Donâ€™t give crap about alternative weekend progie. I know some men are daring enough to stop the Kabaka from touring his areas but why choose today to cause tears for Godâ€™s sake?
Stay around her, say all the sweet nothings, be a gentleman and use your romantic first team. It may not be easy but, man, break the sweat; it is only for 12 hours. And above all, it leaves your wallet as clean as NSSF left Mbabazi.
Some of you are married to people you can hardly sustain a conversation with for an hour. So you are wondering how you will spend today with her without drawing swords. Calm down.
If Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness discussing strategy with Satan, what else is more possible? Give yourself up and you will be surprised. Evening will come without you being taken to the ICC for trial of past crimes. And if money is not your problem, take yourselves out and spoil yourselves.
Leisure well spent together is a milestone in a relationship, a memory that will save a breakage in times of trouble or enforce a reunion in times of separation. It is not calculable by Mathematics but its worth is in terms of fulfilment, stronger bonds and confidence.
Remember, unless you have planned a surprise, consult her on the type of outing. This is not your usual self-determined leisure where you drag her along just because you are the owner of the wallet.
But if you are among those who wish Valentine was shifted from February due to proximity with school fees and New Year problems, there is plan B. Donâ€™t hide your wrinkled wallet; let her know about your credit crunch. If she doesnâ€™t understand, know you married a vampire; she can go hang for all you care.
But if she does understand, spend the day sharing togetherness, intimacy and planning for better times. You can catch a movie together, play games like scrabble, draughts or hide and seek, teach her something say a computer game, how stuff works or learn something from her, take walks and above all, avoid anything that will wreck the peace.
But if after reading this far, you still find Valentineâ€™s stressful, you are probably double dealing, have woman-phobia or are lacking in some Total Man faculties, which means you donâ€™t even have guts to tell her you donâ€™t want to spend the day together.
So, hide in some philosophical commitment like Islam which forbids Valentineâ€™s celebrations or a belief that everyday is for lovers. But if you have never been known to stand strong for a cause, just get lost.
Create an emergency and travel or say you travelled and switch off your phone.
Fall sick and risk her TLC till she discovers you are healthier than Binaisa. Or pick up a quarrel and sulk for more than 24 hours.
If that isnâ€™t viable, you can â€¦ But why waste my time on men who are afraid of being men?
Pull up your socks and say: Valentines, here we come!
Valentineâ€™s Day does not bite